Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Chapter 10; part 4"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
67 total reviews
Comment from wierdgrace
I love Leya, and Steven, my favorite characters always, this is excellent, and keeps me wanting more of your chapters, I am so glad you post them so I can keep up, since I am so far behind, I need to bookmark this one.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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I love Leya, and Steven, my favorite characters always, this is excellent, and keeps me wanting more of your chapters, I am so glad you post them so I can keep up, since I am so far behind, I need to bookmark this one.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a nice chapter that further develops this beautiful plot. I felt so bad at that point where Leya and Steve had a little face-off that gave him a sleepless night. cheers
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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This is a nice chapter that further develops this beautiful plot. I felt so bad at that point where Leya and Steve had a little face-off that gave him a sleepless night. cheers
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from zmacgirl
i could be way off base here but the line "You've gotten food for your cat." should be a statement I think instead of a question. With that one possible correction this is well done.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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i could be way off base here but the line "You've gotten food for your cat." should be a statement I think instead of a question. With that one possible correction this is well done.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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No, I feel he's asking a question. She's gone into the kitchen and gotten food for the cat, so why is she about doing it for herself. I see it as a question. If you question only that, why did I get 4 stars?
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Your work is always so well
presented, Barbara - making it
easy to follow and understand...
and never too long - in consideration
to the reviewers.
I've just reviewed a piece that was
6 pages long - far too much for one
review.
An interesting read, my friend.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Your work is always so well
presented, Barbara - making it
easy to follow and understand...
and never too long - in consideration
to the reviewers.
I've just reviewed a piece that was
6 pages long - far too much for one
review.
An interesting read, my friend.
Margaret.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind words. I try to keep my posts short, once in awhile I have to post longer because I can't find a place to break it. I usually post my chapters in at least three posts.
Comment from maggieJo
Sometimes love is complicated. Many times it is confusing. All the time, it takes work and trying, to understand it.
You story is very thought provoking causing thoughts to linger, as they did with Steven. Leya is a complicated girl, from evidently, a very complicated earlier life.
Good work. I look forward to your chapters.
maggiejo
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Sometimes love is complicated. Many times it is confusing. All the time, it takes work and trying, to understand it.
You story is very thought provoking causing thoughts to linger, as they did with Steven. Leya is a complicated girl, from evidently, a very complicated earlier life.
Good work. I look forward to your chapters.
maggiejo
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you maggieJo for your kind words. I would strongly suggest you do not read my next post. Steven and Leya make their marriage official and I'm pretty sure you will not like it.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
There are other ways to hurt someone.
Surely Steven must realise that it is about time he came right out and declared his love for Leya.
It is already obvious that she feels the same way.
Good chapter painting in a little more of Leya's background.
Juliette
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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There are other ways to hurt someone.
Surely Steven must realise that it is about time he came right out and declared his love for Leya.
It is already obvious that she feels the same way.
Good chapter painting in a little more of Leya's background.
Juliette
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
Bravo!!! This ca be easily turned out to be a great romantic triangle between ralph, leya and steven. The teasing dialogues, punching lines, apparent theme of normal conversation, back ground theme of psychological battles and above all written in such way that reader always is never bore. I would love to read more of this triangle.
K
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Bravo!!! This ca be easily turned out to be a great romantic triangle between ralph, leya and steven. The teasing dialogues, punching lines, apparent theme of normal conversation, back ground theme of psychological battles and above all written in such way that reader always is never bore. I would love to read more of this triangle.
K
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from ladybird
Wonder what Leya mean by her comment. One concerning heartache I suspect. The story is is moving along smoothly. A very nice chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Wonder what Leya mean by her comment. One concerning heartache I suspect. The story is is moving along smoothly. A very nice chapter.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. Your question will be answered in my next post.
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Your'e welcome.
Comment from Helen Tan
No SPAG noted, the story line is moving.
While growing up, if any of us missed a meal for any reason, my father wouldn't allow us to eat until the next meal.
Sounds like an extremely strict father, her childhood couldn't have been great.
Ralph walked away shaking his head.
This is something for you to consider. When you say "Ralph walked away", be more specific so the reader can see the scene, did he walk out of the dining room or did he just walked away from Leya. I hope you understand what I'm saying. Hold your reader's hand and walk through the scene.
"I know you'd never physically hurt me, but there are other ways to hurt somebody."
Heartache - that's the deepest hurt. I guess she's referring to this.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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No SPAG noted, the story line is moving.
While growing up, if any of us missed a meal for any reason, my father wouldn't allow us to eat until the next meal.
Sounds like an extremely strict father, her childhood couldn't have been great.
Ralph walked away shaking his head.
This is something for you to consider. When you say "Ralph walked away", be more specific so the reader can see the scene, did he walk out of the dining room or did he just walked away from Leya. I hope you understand what I'm saying. Hold your reader's hand and walk through the scene.
"I know you'd never physically hurt me, but there are other ways to hurt somebody."
Heartache - that's the deepest hurt. I guess she's referring to this.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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I will relook Ralph leaving. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from bookishfabler
I'm glad you said that about background, I got a bit confused when you brought Peggy in tot he scene. I thought she was arrested? Other than that a good chapter, though short.
hugs
Book
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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I'm glad you said that about background, I got a bit confused when you brought Peggy in tot he scene. I thought she was arrested? Other than that a good chapter, though short.
hugs
Book
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Yes, Peggy has been arrested. Soon she will be out on bail. OH no!!!! Thank you for your kind review.