CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Embracing the Light"A collection of poetry
103 total reviews
Comment from Amfunny
Great poem with a great moral. I hate negative people who don't even try and just give up and take the easy way. This was done very well.
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Great poem with a great moral. I hate negative people who don't even try and just give up and take the easy way. This was done very well.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A good lesson to learn, but sometimes hard to put into practice.I like the way you have written of your lifes lessons, the only suggestion I would make was in the final verse I would break up the lines to match the abcb rhyme in the other 3 eg:
we have the strength
to swim again the tide
And flee from other's ways:
not ours to abide.
This is just how I would do it,but anyway, an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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A good lesson to learn, but sometimes hard to put into practice.I like the way you have written of your lifes lessons, the only suggestion I would make was in the final verse I would break up the lines to match the abcb rhyme in the other 3 eg:
we have the strength
to swim again the tide
And flee from other's ways:
not ours to abide.
This is just how I would do it,but anyway, an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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Pearl, thank you so very much for your lovely review. I would take your suggestion on board, however, as this is written in sonnet form, the couplet at the end is appropriate. But I do appreciate your very close read. With regards, Sue
Comment from heartonsleeve
Oh, I hope you win with this one. A beautiful combination of life's choices, a past with lessons, a future with questions. I enjoyed this, nothing at all to change. ;-)
Good luck!
shell
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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Oh, I hope you win with this one. A beautiful combination of life's choices, a past with lessons, a future with questions. I enjoyed this, nothing at all to change. ;-)
Good luck!
shell
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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heartonsleeve, thank you so much for your vote of confidence! And for your great review and compliments. With regards, Sue
Comment from DreamChaser
This is a great entry for the contest. Your poem is beautifully written. What I like most of all is the wonderful message you delivered in such a positive way. Good luck.
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This is a great entry for the contest. Your poem is beautifully written. What I like most of all is the wonderful message you delivered in such a positive way. Good luck.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009
Comment from Aussie
It took me a while to get into the message of your poem; to lift your head when all around you are losing theirs is very difficult. So your parents example toughened your resolve to move onwards and upwards, be a survivor. I think this is your message. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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It took me a while to get into the message of your poem; to lift your head when all around you are losing theirs is very difficult. So your parents example toughened your resolve to move onwards and upwards, be a survivor. I think this is your message. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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You have read the intended words perfectly. Glad you picked up on the "lifting the head". Thank you very much for your great review and compliments. Sue
Comment from jshep
Wonderful message, Sue, in sonnet. The meter and rhyme were excellent, and I love messsages that offer optimism versus pessimism. It is hard to conquer that when growing up with negativity. No changes to recommend. A perfect life lesson for the contest. Excellent poem. Joyce
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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Wonderful message, Sue, in sonnet. The meter and rhyme were excellent, and I love messsages that offer optimism versus pessimism. It is hard to conquer that when growing up with negativity. No changes to recommend. A perfect life lesson for the contest. Excellent poem. Joyce
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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jshep, thank you for your very kind compliments and generous review. With regards, Sue
Comment from NightWriter
"Embracing the Light" is a perfectly written and well stated iambic pentameter poem. I love the lessons learned here. Very helpful in times like these. Thank you.
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"Embracing the Light" is a perfectly written and well stated iambic pentameter poem. I love the lessons learned here. Very helpful in times like these. Thank you.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009
Comment from yachtworknz
Sixteezkit-Nice work.
I think much of the piece came down to this-
Subconsciously, I must have told myself
Self-pity was not what I would embrace
That is the frame of mind to be sure.
Thanks for posting
Scott
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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Sixteezkit-Nice work.
I think much of the piece came down to this-
Subconsciously, I must have told myself
Self-pity was not what I would embrace
That is the frame of mind to be sure.
Thanks for posting
Scott
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2009
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Thank you for reading it as intended. Yes, I didn't make a decision like this at a young age with the "conscious mind". But something told me that was not the route I was going. Thank you for your very kind review. Sue
Comment from Rain Chapman
This is a beautiful poem with a clear and valuable life lesson. It flowed great for me until the last line, the semi-colon threw of the rhythm for me and I wish so much that I could make a suggestion for changing this but unfortunately I have no ideas. I have not been doing this very long myself. I just thought that you could read it through again, maybe its just me. Good luck with the contest.:)
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This is a beautiful poem with a clear and valuable life lesson. It flowed great for me until the last line, the semi-colon threw of the rhythm for me and I wish so much that I could make a suggestion for changing this but unfortunately I have no ideas. I have not been doing this very long myself. I just thought that you could read it through again, maybe its just me. Good luck with the contest.:)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009
Comment from jclark
What an excellent life lesson you have written. Each of us has to make our own way in the world which can be difficult as we only know what we learn from our parents. Having the wisdom to filter good and bad, optimism or defeat is so freeing. Thank you for writing a thought provoking and inspiring work that can truly be a "good example" for somebody out there. Picture is beautiful as well.
Judy
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What an excellent life lesson you have written. Each of us has to make our own way in the world which can be difficult as we only know what we learn from our parents. Having the wisdom to filter good and bad, optimism or defeat is so freeing. Thank you for writing a thought provoking and inspiring work that can truly be a "good example" for somebody out there. Picture is beautiful as well.
Judy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2009