Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Football Chapter 10 part 2"A mother faces life's struggles.
29 total reviews
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear barbara, this chapter gave us, the reviewer's and readers, of your story, some interesting clues about the character of our main protagonists, and maybe why they got that way, All you need now is something dramatic to happen to somebody, to break the ice.(smile)
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Dear barbara, this chapter gave us, the reviewer's and readers, of your story, some interesting clues about the character of our main protagonists, and maybe why they got that way, All you need now is something dramatic to happen to somebody, to break the ice.(smile)
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from nomi338
Let me just say that, even with the absence of wild sex scenes, violence or really bad and offensive language. This wonderful story would make a wonderful movie that I would watch and encourage everyone I care for to watch as well. This is good story telling at its best.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Let me just say that, even with the absence of wild sex scenes, violence or really bad and offensive language. This wonderful story would make a wonderful movie that I would watch and encourage everyone I care for to watch as well. This is good story telling at its best.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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I don't do sex, violence or offensive language. It's not who I am or who my intended audience are. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Barbara:
New relationships can be complicated, can't they, especially when
both parties think they're not interested in having one? I would
imagine it would be difficult to consider having a relationship with
a man who has been a playboy in his past - especially in this day
and age. Guess we will have to see what happens.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Barbara:
New relationships can be complicated, can't they, especially when
both parties think they're not interested in having one? I would
imagine it would be difficult to consider having a relationship with
a man who has been a playboy in his past - especially in this day
and age. Guess we will have to see what happens.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Matchmaking Mom. Reminds me of my daughter always trying to match me up with someone. "But Dad, it is not good to live alone."
Very good story. I like it much.
Thanks Barb.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Matchmaking Mom. Reminds me of my daughter always trying to match me up with someone. "But Dad, it is not good to live alone."
Very good story. I like it much.
Thanks Barb.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the support. I agree with your daughter it's not good to live alone.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Chapter Part 2 of the Novel speaks expressively in a well drafted taletelling, progressed thru' appropriate plot development, extensively realistic dialogues and real like characters, temporarily resolved ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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This Chapter Part 2 of the Novel speaks expressively in a well drafted taletelling, progressed thru' appropriate plot development, extensively realistic dialogues and real like characters, temporarily resolved ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is another chapter in a highly interesting story. I get so drawn into it that I find myself looking for more.
Noticed two typos:
After Katherine point (pointed) to a place in the closet, Angie petted Daisy and continued,
"You'll work everything out and realize how right I am. Not (Now) get, and take those boys fishing."
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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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This is another chapter in a highly interesting story. I get so drawn into it that I find myself looking for more.
Noticed two typos:
After Katherine point (pointed) to a place in the closet, Angie petted Daisy and continued,
"You'll work everything out and realize how right I am. Not (Now) get, and take those boys fishing."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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I have made the corrections. Thank you for the catches.
Comment from lancellot
Another great chapter, we are really learning a lot through character interactions.
notes:
Katherine would work {in} her bedroom and the den.
- what you have is not incorrect, but it may be clearer with the word 'on' because she putting those rooms together.
"I wondered what [was] going on." Angie paused.
- missing word?
she added, "Especially a self-centered jock."
- Katherine has mentioned this before, but WE, the reader hasn't seen the reasons for it, plus her son plays football. What will she call him?
Jeremy walked to him. "Coach, you're funny. Why'd I eat an apple when there's cookies?{'}
- change
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Another great chapter, we are really learning a lot through character interactions.
notes:
Katherine would work {in} her bedroom and the den.
- what you have is not incorrect, but it may be clearer with the word 'on' because she putting those rooms together.
"I wondered what [was] going on." Angie paused.
- missing word?
she added, "Especially a self-centered jock."
- Katherine has mentioned this before, but WE, the reader hasn't seen the reasons for it, plus her son plays football. What will she call him?
Jeremy walked to him. "Coach, you're funny. Why'd I eat an apple when there's cookies?{'}
- change
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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My Internet is acting up and not allowing me to save comments. Katherine's version of 'jocks' goes back to childhood. We will learn more as the story continues.
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It's not the internet, it's FanStory. I had to switch to the Classic version.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, As you know, I do like the story and it's moving forward at a nice pace. It's great writing and something is brewing. Just found one thing. :
How well do you Gabriel?" = How well do you know Gabriel?"
Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Hi Barbara, As you know, I do like the story and it's moving forward at a nice pace. It's great writing and something is brewing. Just found one thing. :
How well do you Gabriel?" = How well do you know Gabriel?"
Ulla:)))
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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My Internet is acting up and not allowing me to save comments. Thank you for the help. I have made the changes.
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The site has been down for a while. It seems to work now. You're most welcome. :)))
Comment from royowen
Seems everyone thinks that Gabriel and Katherine are a great match, how come they don't? But that's the way relationships quite often start, but I know and you know where this is headed, well done Barbara, you're a good writer, blessings Roy
Typo : After Katherine point(ed) to place..2: I think you two would make (a) great couple.3: Gabriel's parent(')s farm...4: I didn't realise the (debt) comment. Depth?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Seems everyone thinks that Gabriel and Katherine are a great match, how come they don't? But that's the way relationships quite often start, but I know and you know where this is headed, well done Barbara, you're a good writer, blessings Roy
Typo : After Katherine point(ed) to place..2: I think you two would make (a) great couple.3: Gabriel's parent(')s farm...4: I didn't realise the (debt) comment. Depth?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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My Internet is acting up and not allowing me to save comments. Thank you for the help. I have made the changes.
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Most welcome Barbara, I?m still happy to edit.