Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Football Chapter 10 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
30 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
I do think Gabriel overstepped when he heard the boys arguing. That's what kids do. He feels free to interfere because he doesn't have much of a life of his own, except coaching. I seriously wish for Katherine to meet up with another guy who won't try to play the gallant knight rescuing the helpless lady. I think we need to see her facing up to her own challenges. Just my opinion. Beautifully written, as always, and your characterizations are excellent. I just want something unexpected! judi
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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I do think Gabriel overstepped when he heard the boys arguing. That's what kids do. He feels free to interfere because he doesn't have much of a life of his own, except coaching. I seriously wish for Katherine to meet up with another guy who won't try to play the gallant knight rescuing the helpless lady. I think we need to see her facing up to her own challenges. Just my opinion. Beautifully written, as always, and your characterizations are excellent. I just want something unexpected! judi
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Katherine is in the process of growing. Give her time, more will come out. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara. This is another fine chapter to the book and the Hulk scene did make me chuckle a wee bit. It is so typical when it comes to kids. Great writing and I'm looking forward to what's next. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Hi Barbara. This is another fine chapter to the book and the Hulk scene did make me chuckle a wee bit. It is so typical when it comes to kids. Great writing and I'm looking forward to what's next. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear barbara, This story is just what our FanStory site needs so much. A good, wholesome, and human novel. I suspect all your readers are hoping that Katherine will stop being so independent, and let Coach Hudson into her life.
but waiting for her to do this, IS half the fun of being your fan.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Dear barbara, This story is just what our FanStory site needs so much. A good, wholesome, and human novel. I suspect all your readers are hoping that Katherine will stop being so independent, and let Coach Hudson into her life.
but waiting for her to do this, IS half the fun of being your fan.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and understanding.
Comment from BethShelby
I think of the three pf your books I've read, this one is my favorite. You have developed these characters well, and the scenes are so realistic. It hassles that accompany a move, you've probably drawn from the moves in your own life.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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I think of the three pf your books I've read, this one is my favorite. You have developed these characters well, and the scenes are so realistic. It hassles that accompany a move, you've probably drawn from the moves in your own life.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Thank you for saying that. Everybody has their favorite and you're the first to choose this one. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a wonderful post full of action and problem solving. I enjoyed it from the beginning to the very end. Sub sandwiches? I want one....
Noticed a typo:
Gabriel glanced at Katherine. "I acted like me again and gave an impression I had no intention of giving (in?) and had to quickly correct it."
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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This is a wonderful post full of action and problem solving. I enjoyed it from the beginning to the very end. Sub sandwiches? I want one....
Noticed a typo:
Gabriel glanced at Katherine. "I acted like me again and gave an impression I had no intention of giving (in?) and had to quickly correct it."
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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No, the 'in' should not be there. I just double and triple checked. Thank you for checking.
Comment from lancellot
When are they getting married? Gabriel is practically a step dad, he just hasn't gotten that first kiss yet.
Maybe, I'm getting ahead of the story but I waiting for their eyes to lock and someone gets that tingle.
Another well crafted chapter. You did well showing what a house full kids is really like.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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When are they getting married? Gabriel is practically a step dad, he just hasn't gotten that first kiss yet.
Maybe, I'm getting ahead of the story but I waiting for their eyes to lock and someone gets that tingle.
Another well crafted chapter. You did well showing what a house full kids is really like.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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I raised four boys, with a husband active duty. I most of the time was a geographic single parent. Thank you. That kiss will come, someday, but it'll take a while. Thank you.
Comment from Ben Colder
Sorry but I had to laugh at the Hulk scene. So typical with my kids as well. Made me to remember some of our times. Another good write Barb. I think I will join with you on the subway.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Sorry but I had to laugh at the Hulk scene. So typical with my kids as well. Made me to remember some of our times. Another good write Barb. I think I will join with you on the subway.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you understanding the HULK.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is my first time reading your book and you did a good job writing and dialogues sounds realistic. The characters come alive under your pen.
I have one question: The book is about:
Katherine struggles raising her four sons by herself.
Why is this called a Romance?
Well done.
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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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This is my first time reading your book and you did a good job writing and dialogues sounds realistic. The characters come alive under your pen.
I have one question: The book is about:
Katherine struggles raising her four sons by herself.
Why is this called a Romance?
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Because she and Gabriel will find romance amid all of the turmoil. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This has such a comfy feel about it, even though there is something horrid lurking in the background. I can understand Katherine being a bit put out by Gabriel, but he is only trying to help. The trouble with us women, we like to believe we can do everything, and we can't. Neither can men. (not that they'd admit to that either!) I've had my washing machine flood all over the kitchen floor, so annoying. Well done, my friend, another lovely chapter. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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This has such a comfy feel about it, even though there is something horrid lurking in the background. I can understand Katherine being a bit put out by Gabriel, but he is only trying to help. The trouble with us women, we like to believe we can do everything, and we can't. Neither can men. (not that they'd admit to that either!) I've had my washing machine flood all over the kitchen floor, so annoying. Well done, my friend, another lovely chapter. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Pantygynt
I think the title is a good one. Although it does not reflect the theme of the novel, it it is a dominant feature of the location, a background of interest by the community within which the action takes place.
The dialogue here is good and believable, and dialogue is one of the best ways of showing rather than telling. But action takes place between people in locations and these need descriptions, their pictures painted, which is another way of showing.
Joe was a faster runner with long dark hair, is telling.
is showing.
It is not that there is too much dialogue here, but the background needs sketching in additionally.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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I think the title is a good one. Although it does not reflect the theme of the novel, it it is a dominant feature of the location, a background of interest by the community within which the action takes place.
The dialogue here is good and believable, and dialogue is one of the best ways of showing rather than telling. But action takes place between people in locations and these need descriptions, their pictures painted, which is another way of showing.
Joe was a faster runner with long dark hair, is telling.
It is not that there is too much dialogue here, but the background needs sketching in additionally.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the suggestion. I feel the reader can use their imagination to sketch in details. I like to do that while I'm reading.