Shattered Aspirations
The damage of one small word...25 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written four-line poem. Lies are the major cause of many problems we experience in our personal lives as well as in the world. One lie leads to many that forms a web of lies and no-one can find the truth.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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A very well-written four-line poem. Lies are the major cause of many problems we experience in our personal lives as well as in the world. One lie leads to many that forms a web of lies and no-one can find the truth.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, Sandra - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Tia Attwood
Hi
This is a wonderful four line poem that you have composed with a very strong message. I feel your top 3 lines are really strong and so true.
.Lies...
render dreams broken
with words ill-spoken
great job and Good luck in the contest
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Hi
This is a wonderful four line poem that you have composed with a very strong message. I feel your top 3 lines are really strong and so true.
.Lies...
render dreams broken
with words ill-spoken
great job and Good luck in the contest
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 26-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, Tia - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Mastery
Isn' this reflecting the absolute truth. Most people have felt this situation before, I believe. Once something is said it is said and we cannot repair some things no matter what.Good job, Yvette. Bless you, Bob
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Isn' this reflecting the absolute truth. Most people have felt this situation before, I believe. Once something is said it is said and we cannot repair some things no matter what.Good job, Yvette. Bless you, Bob
Comment Written 26-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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You are so very right on that final point, Bob - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. We'll just be sure to keep an eye on each other ? the truth is a great standard to live by, yeah?! :) :) You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
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Awww. Bless you, Yvette. Bob
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yep, lying does no one any good, Yvette.
When you tell a lie you usually have to tell another to bail you out of the first fib you told.
Then another, and another...
Before you know it, you're in so deep and suffocating.
Best to tell the truth, no matter what.
~Dean
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Yep, lying does no one any good, Yvette.
When you tell a lie you usually have to tell another to bail you out of the first fib you told.
Then another, and another...
Before you know it, you're in so deep and suffocating.
Best to tell the truth, no matter what.
~Dean
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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You are so very right, Dean - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. We'll just be sure to keep an eye on each other ? the truth is a great standard to live by, yeah?! :) :)
On another note - I hope this finds you at least with an eviction date from the hospital? You have been in my thoughts and prayers...said a special prayer when we past the Children's Hospital wing on the way home and they had a big halloween display of those big blow-up things on the lawn...one of them was of this 'zombie dude' in a tall hat -- immediately sent up a special prayer for Dean! :) :)
You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows wherever you may be! :) ;) Yvette :)
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Hahaha.
I'm hoping to be out of here later on today, Yvette.
We'll see.
You have a wonderful weekend.
~Dean
Comment from Dawnya
This is a very good entry. So many people don't notice how deep the damage of lies goes. It can, as you say, "render dreams broken." They affect our hearts and souls and can leave a "life with naught but the pieces." These are very well chosen words. I liked the presentation and the message. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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This is a very good entry. So many people don't notice how deep the damage of lies goes. It can, as you say, "render dreams broken." They affect our hearts and souls and can leave a "life with naught but the pieces." These are very well chosen words. I liked the presentation and the message. Well done.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, Dawnya - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from meeshu
that is really good, you went deep on this one. you have an ease about your writing that is hard to define. you should do great in the contest but after the "Friendship" contest, who knows? sweet write, Yvette...............meeshu
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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that is really good, you went deep on this one. you have an ease about your writing that is hard to define. you should do great in the contest but after the "Friendship" contest, who knows? sweet write, Yvette...............meeshu
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Yeah -- you got that right: WHO KNOWS? :) :) :) ;) I'm pretty much to the 'Post and Forget' stage with those....otherwise, they aren't fun! :) I do so enjoy coming up with clever little things here and there or even some profundity now and again, but then something like a dying lizard or crackling leaves (poetry side) and a piece with obvious grammatical errors or no imagination (prose side) wins and I get really bummed. Sooooo... I enjoy the write, post to the contest, and, honestly and truly, never look back. If prize money appears in my account -- hooray! If it doesn't -- meh. [that's an expression I've learned from my boys! Very apropos in this case! :) :)]
And I guess I did do a bit of a dive on this one...it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You and Cyndy be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows out there in the desert! :) ;) Yvette :)
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I hit the sack the night of the 'fried' contest tied with you for 1st. overnight only 8 votes were cast, all 8 for one poem. FIX?
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That IS the MAIN reason I quit looking...happened a lot ... it was BEYOND depressing and defeated the whole point of my writing - suppose to be my freaking escape from &%^$#@& of teaching/parent management reality so, I didn't need the let-downs! :) ;) :) :) Prose competitions, too. Sigh.
On a happy note, I thought I was the only person still using the term 'beautimous'? :) :) My students laugh at me when I use it! :) Thanx for smiles and the 'cyber-companionship' -- you and Cyndy have a beautimous weekend, too...Yvette :) ;)
Comment from Debbie Pope
I like this, Yvette. Bet it was inspired by the gossip that high schoolers seems to love. Your use of words like "render" and "naught" make your poem polished. And, your creative use of the font size adds to meaning of the piece. Your words fade to nothingness symbolizing the damage created by lies.
I also like your opening syllable. Lies is a powerful word, quite a grabber. My favorite aspect of the four line poem is that first line. I enjoy seeing the words that people choose. So many writers waste that first line. Others, like you, make quite an impact with it.
Good luck in the contest.
Hope your are doing well tonight. My grandchildren came over to trick or treat my mom. I am beat. Headed for bed, and it's just seven o'clock. I'll write that haiku tomorrow.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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I like this, Yvette. Bet it was inspired by the gossip that high schoolers seems to love. Your use of words like "render" and "naught" make your poem polished. And, your creative use of the font size adds to meaning of the piece. Your words fade to nothingness symbolizing the damage created by lies.
I also like your opening syllable. Lies is a powerful word, quite a grabber. My favorite aspect of the four line poem is that first line. I enjoy seeing the words that people choose. So many writers waste that first line. Others, like you, make quite an impact with it.
Good luck in the contest.
Hope your are doing well tonight. My grandchildren came over to trick or treat my mom. I am beat. Headed for bed, and it's just seven o'clock. I'll write that haiku tomorrow.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Wow - thanx for the wonderful review, Debbie -- so very glad you enjoyed and thought its impact was as intended. Yes, these writes with only one word in the first line HAVE to treat the word as a 'HOOK' .... otherwise, I just don't see that they have the full impact that the form can have. :) :) :)
Oh, and I didn't have a specific incident feed this write, but you are right: I have seen so much of 'the gossip' among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. We'll just be sure to keep an eye on each other ? the truth is a great standard to live by, yeah?! :) :) You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows, my B'ham Friend! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from lyenochka
Wow. This is a superb one. You used the format well and added to it with the formatting of the bold and ever decreasing fonts to enhance your message. So true that deception can totally ruin a life. Best wishes in the contest!!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Wow. This is a superb one. You used the format well and added to it with the formatting of the bold and ever decreasing fonts to enhance your message. So true that deception can totally ruin a life. Best wishes in the contest!!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, Helen - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. We'll just be sure to keep an eye on each other ? the truth is a great standard to live by, yeah?! :) :) You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
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Same wishes to you for your weekend! Hope you have time to rest and decompress. Bless you for all you do for your high schoolers. It's such a critical time in life.
Comment from aryr
Good luck in the Four Line Poetry Contest. This was short but very direct and so very true. It is a shame that lies are spread and in a way that they become believable until the true comes out and the lies are shattered. Very well done, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Good luck in the Four Line Poetry Contest. This was short but very direct and so very true. It is a shame that lies are spread and in a way that they become believable until the true comes out and the lies are shattered. Very well done, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, aryr - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. We'll just be sure to keep an eye on each other ? the truth is a great standard to live by, yeah?! :) :) You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)
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You are so welcome Yvette, and you as well have a wonderful weekend. I liked the added sunshine and rainbows, nice.
Comment from Anntonette
Lies does get us into trouble and becomes a naught. The truth sets us free, even when it is an ugly truth. Lies can be dangerous, if not told properly. Lying makes us human, who doesn't lie?
Understandable read! It makes sense.
- Anntonette
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Lies does get us into trouble and becomes a naught. The truth sets us free, even when it is an ugly truth. Lies can be dangerous, if not told properly. Lying makes us human, who doesn't lie?
Understandable read! It makes sense.
- Anntonette
Comment Written 25-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, Anntonette - it seems that to lie is a bit too easy for the human spirit sometimes and even the little ones can have such a big impact on one or more lives...even collaterally. Didn't have a specific incident feed this write, have just seen so much of it among the high schoolers I teach as well as among their parents....it can get pretty toxic sometimes. You be sure to take good care and have a wonderful weekend of sunshine and rainbows! :) ;) Yvette :)