The Questioning Kiss
20 syllable poem13 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 20 Syllables Poem writing prompt.
Your short verse is nicely intimate.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 20 Syllables Poem writing prompt.
Your short verse is nicely intimate.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 24-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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Thanks, Sharon, I'm pleased it came across as intended. :))
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Poet (though I think I know...!)
This is an unusual and different sort of post. Very romantic and sensuous and so much more. *smile*
My favorite line is the 'sweet plunge of relief' - I can relate to this, I think. Those moments when you like someone and you are QUITE sure the feelings are returned...? But that first kiss says it all. Yum!
The only part I didn't quite get (and I'm sure it's me) is the 'truth' part. I can see how 'lust' might remove all boundaries...but if this is truly the first kiss...when was there time for truth? And, in this day and age, are we so sure that we're getting it? I don't know. That word broke the mood for me. Just a thought.
Since this is a truly subjective thing, I would not reduce the rating.
Much good luck to you!
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reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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Dear Mystery Poet (though I think I know...!)
This is an unusual and different sort of post. Very romantic and sensuous and so much more. *smile*
My favorite line is the 'sweet plunge of relief' - I can relate to this, I think. Those moments when you like someone and you are QUITE sure the feelings are returned...? But that first kiss says it all. Yum!
The only part I didn't quite get (and I'm sure it's me) is the 'truth' part. I can see how 'lust' might remove all boundaries...but if this is truly the first kiss...when was there time for truth? And, in this day and age, are we so sure that we're getting it? I don't know. That word broke the mood for me. Just a thought.
Since this is a truly subjective thing, I would not reduce the rating.
Much good luck to you!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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I TRY to be soooooo mysterious. It ain't easy. LOL
Well, the "truth" is meant to say: that moment when BOTH of these somewhat anxious and a little bit insecure people realize that, YES, she/he feels the same way I do-- it's TRUE what they've both been hoping for and suspecting. HAHAHA! That's what that ONE word meant. HA!
Anyway, they wouldn't be talking after THAT kiss anyway ... but I needed twenty syllables. :))
Thanks so much. I love a real review. :))
Comment from William Ross
Very good on the 20 syllable poem, depends on the type of kiss on what follows. Good luck on this and have a wonderful day
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reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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Very good on the 20 syllable poem, depends on the type of kiss on what follows. Good luck on this and have a wonderful day
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Comment Written 24-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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Yes, indeed it does! Thanks a million. :))