This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Joe Is Home"Veronica is sent back again
42 total reviews
Comment from estory
I think you bring the personalities and character of the people involved to life with some good dialogue, packed with emotion, and an air of mystery. nice suspenseful ending to keep us on the hook to see what happens next. I must say I found the dialect a little hard to follow. I don't know, but it might be better if you dropped it. It will lose a little local flavor, so you will have to make that tough decision. But we get a good sense of a family trying to hang on through adversity, with a little tension between husband and wife. estory
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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I think you bring the personalities and character of the people involved to life with some good dialogue, packed with emotion, and an air of mystery. nice suspenseful ending to keep us on the hook to see what happens next. I must say I found the dialect a little hard to follow. I don't know, but it might be better if you dropped it. It will lose a little local flavor, so you will have to make that tough decision. But we get a good sense of a family trying to hang on through adversity, with a little tension between husband and wife. estory
Comment Written 06-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much, estory, for this lovely detailed review. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry you found the dialect hard to follow. I'll take a look at cutting it back a little. I can't take it out, as that would not be realistic. This is the dialect they still use today, I'm one of them. LOL! I'm so pleased you enjoyed the story. ) Sandra. xx
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You can keep the realism, but you have to think of the readers, and the wide audience out there, if you want the piece to resonate over a big area. estory
Comment from aryr
Good catch on the cuddle, Sandra. I am sure Joe's wife does indeed have a lot of questions and that Joe has even more. I hope Veronica will be able to get things straightened out for him and that things go smoother when it comes to Sir John. It at least sounds like the committee is being somewhat helpful. You provide great details and wonderful descriptions. Very enjoyable.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Good catch on the cuddle, Sandra. I am sure Joe's wife does indeed have a lot of questions and that Joe has even more. I hope Veronica will be able to get things straightened out for him and that things go smoother when it comes to Sir John. It at least sounds like the committee is being somewhat helpful. You provide great details and wonderful descriptions. Very enjoyable.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Hi Alie, thank you so much for another of your lovely reviews. Veronica and Joe have some serious talking to do. Coming up in the next part. Big hugs, my friend. Sandra xxxx
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You are most welcome Sandra, serious talking actually falls short of what those two have to do, will watch for it. Big hugs to you my friend.
Comment from Agnes Card
The dialogue is very good, most convincing, and there's a real sense of humour in the story, but I confess I am utterly confused and don't understand who is who, what time frame they belong to, and the time travel I think needs to be made clearer, perhaps with a lead-in passage, explaining to the reader. But maybe I am just dim-witted, probably, I need to read earlier chapters to understand the concept more fully. An intriguing piece, love the idea of time travel, it's a fascinating subject, but not for the faint-hearted or the slow-witted among us!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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The dialogue is very good, most convincing, and there's a real sense of humour in the story, but I confess I am utterly confused and don't understand who is who, what time frame they belong to, and the time travel I think needs to be made clearer, perhaps with a lead-in passage, explaining to the reader. But maybe I am just dim-witted, probably, I need to read earlier chapters to understand the concept more fully. An intriguing piece, love the idea of time travel, it's a fascinating subject, but not for the faint-hearted or the slow-witted among us!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Agnes, for trying to understand my story. Yes, you do need to read other chapters, this is the second book in a trilogy, so even with an explanation, I doubt it would be understood. It would be a bit like buying a book then starting in the middle of it. Sandra xx
Comment from honeytree
The art work is great
for the words written
It was an interesting
read bit hard at times
to follow overall I liked it.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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The art work is great
for the words written
It was an interesting
read bit hard at times
to follow overall I liked it.
Honey tree
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Thank you for reading, Ann, it is a complicated story and difficult to get into at this stage, so I appreciate you finding it hard to follow. But thank you for trying, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Cousin.
"But I don't think it's 'arf as bad as findin' yerself as a young lad an' havin' yer backside wiped...(lol.)
"That's me mam," Daveth grinned. "She's givin' me da' wot-fer." (lol)
Darn, no sixes, sorry.
You have moved this along beautifully. Old Sir Joe makes it an interesting end and what will happen to them.
Your dialogue is both amusing and engaging and that takes skill to achieve, mate.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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G'day Cousin.
"But I don't think it's 'arf as bad as findin' yerself as a young lad an' havin' yer backside wiped...(lol.)
"That's me mam," Daveth grinned. "She's givin' me da' wot-fer." (lol)
Darn, no sixes, sorry.
You have moved this along beautifully. Old Sir Joe makes it an interesting end and what will happen to them.
Your dialogue is both amusing and engaging and that takes skill to achieve, mate.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Hi, dear Cousin! Don't worry about the 6s, you always brighten my day with your fun reviews. I love them. I have a bit of catching up to do, my laptop decided to play me up again! :( Technology is wonderful.... Hmmm Big hugs and lots of love! Sandra xxxx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Every one needed to pucker up and be ready every now and then. Of course, when you get to be my age you better well figure they are wanting way more than just a kiss. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Every one needed to pucker up and be ready every now and then. Of course, when you get to be my age you better well figure they are wanting way more than just a kiss. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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thank you so much, Ric, for your support and kind words. I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story. Big hugs! :) sandra xxx
Comment from frogbook
Well, I need to get going as I missed a chapter. Wow, I have been runnin with just a million everyday things. October is always so busy with sports and birthdays etc. Still twisting these ideas around so fast you make me dizzy-haha. Great characters and descriptions.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Well, I need to get going as I missed a chapter. Wow, I have been runnin with just a million everyday things. October is always so busy with sports and birthdays etc. Still twisting these ideas around so fast you make me dizzy-haha. Great characters and descriptions.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Thank you, JoAnn. I know, life gets in the way a lot!! LOL. It has to go on though. It was nice of you to take time out and read this part. I do appreciate it. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from wordsfromsue
Anyway, while your father's out the room, perhaps you can catch me up with what's been happening since I last spoke to you." (I think 'out (of) the room) sounds better.
What an interesting chapter!
I look forward to reading about Rosie, after she's done giving Joe a can of whoop butt!!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Anyway, while your father's out the room, perhaps you can catch me up with what's been happening since I last spoke to you." (I think 'out (of) the room) sounds better.
What an interesting chapter!
I look forward to reading about Rosie, after she's done giving Joe a can of whoop butt!!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Hi Sue, thank you so much for this helpful review, my friend. I'll nip in now and add (of) it does sound better!! :)) It's so nice that you are reading my story. I'll chat with you later. My Skype went off and on and off and... I had to shut it down in the end. Big hugs. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You begin this with quite a picture.
-A very good chapter that gives us
an insight back in 1846 when we meet
Joe and see Daveth again.
-Good comments from Joe:
"I dunno what's goin' on in yer head," he told me..."
-Of course, Joe wants to know what happened,
and Daveth wants to know about his dad.
-We find out that they are about to lose
their house if Joe hadn't appeared soon, so
Ver. was just in time.
-The ending is good and reflects the concerns
that Ver. has, too.
-Very well done, Sandra.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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-You begin this with quite a picture.
-A very good chapter that gives us
an insight back in 1846 when we meet
Joe and see Daveth again.
-Good comments from Joe:
"I dunno what's goin' on in yer head," he told me..."
-Of course, Joe wants to know what happened,
and Daveth wants to know about his dad.
-We find out that they are about to lose
their house if Joe hadn't appeared soon, so
Ver. was just in time.
-The ending is good and reflects the concerns
that Ver. has, too.
-Very well done, Sandra.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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HI Pam, I'm really pleased you liked this part. It was a lot longer to begin with over 2000 words, so I cut it in half. The next part starts the questions, which I hope will satisfy Joe, and Veronica will also have a few questions of her own. Thank you for another wonderful review, my friend, and for giving me another 6 stars. I really value your opinion and appreciate all the support you're giving me as each part comes out. Sending you more big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxxx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the review and stars, Sandra. I'm glad you cut the 2000 words in half! I enjoy the stories and weighing in with my thoughts and am glad they are appreciated. Here's a little something to brighten your day, my friend🙂🙂
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Aww, thank you! :) xxxxxx
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
It is good to be back in the past where the heart of the story lies,
and the mystery of the albino,
seemingly the reason the "powers" intervened in the first place.
Joe's going to have to cook up a plausible tale to explain his disappearance.
I don't think the truth will work lol
Rosie must have been frantic.
"It was then that [Joe] saw me and backed away. shouldn't this be Daveth?
The plot gets more complex, as now Joe and family's home is at risk
But that was also alluded to earlier when Sir John mentioned Joe having seen
the boy and the danger that implied.
Excellent chapter, my friend
RS
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Hello Sandra,
It is good to be back in the past where the heart of the story lies,
and the mystery of the albino,
seemingly the reason the "powers" intervened in the first place.
Joe's going to have to cook up a plausible tale to explain his disappearance.
I don't think the truth will work lol
Rosie must have been frantic.
"It was then that [Joe] saw me and backed away. shouldn't this be Daveth?
The plot gets more complex, as now Joe and family's home is at risk
But that was also alluded to earlier when Sir John mentioned Joe having seen
the boy and the danger that implied.
Excellent chapter, my friend
RS
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017
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Hi, Robert. Thank you so very much for another of your lovely reviews and allllllll those stars! Yes, back in the past now, and Veronica is armed with more details. There is so much going on here that Veronica has yet to discover. It's going to be quite a ride for her this time. As for Rosie, no, she's not a happy bunny! LOL Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxxx
I was told about the Daveth/Joe name swap on the 2nd review. I changed it on my MS Word copy and then forgot to change it on here. I couldn't understand why everyone was still mentioning it. What an idiot I am sometimes!! Thank you again, dear friend. xxxxxxx