This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Up at the Manor House"Veronica is sent back again
43 total reviews
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Most of the rooms were sparsely furnished with just a bed and dresser, and no bed linen or personal items. When I reached the door of the bedroom Lady Ann would occupy in years to come, I hesitated for a moment as more memories came flooding back. Get a grip, Veronica, it's 1846, and Lady Ann hasn't even been born yet! Pulling myself together, I passed through the closed door, but stopped dead in my tracks because someone was lying in the bed, and a woman was reading a book as she sat in a chair by the window. I walked over to the bed and looked down at the woman who was sleeping there. She was very beautiful, but deathly pale, and I wondered if she was seriously ill. Perhaps the woman in the chair was a nurse.
Although I was intrigued, and would love to know who she was, there was nothing I could learn by watching her sleep, so I decided to carry on looking through the other rooms. All were equally uncooperative in revealing clues regarding the boy Cadan supposedly saw. There was only one more area I could look, and that was in the attics. There were three of them, situated over the different wings of the manor.
When I eventually reached the third one, having found nothing of interest in the first two, I was in for quite a surprise....OH MY GOSH I AM DYING TO READ WHAT COMES NEXT...so creepy and delightfully written kindest regards and well done Meia xx
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
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Most of the rooms were sparsely furnished with just a bed and dresser, and no bed linen or personal items. When I reached the door of the bedroom Lady Ann would occupy in years to come, I hesitated for a moment as more memories came flooding back. Get a grip, Veronica, it's 1846, and Lady Ann hasn't even been born yet! Pulling myself together, I passed through the closed door, but stopped dead in my tracks because someone was lying in the bed, and a woman was reading a book as she sat in a chair by the window. I walked over to the bed and looked down at the woman who was sleeping there. She was very beautiful, but deathly pale, and I wondered if she was seriously ill. Perhaps the woman in the chair was a nurse.
Although I was intrigued, and would love to know who she was, there was nothing I could learn by watching her sleep, so I decided to carry on looking through the other rooms. All were equally uncooperative in revealing clues regarding the boy Cadan supposedly saw. There was only one more area I could look, and that was in the attics. There were three of them, situated over the different wings of the manor.
When I eventually reached the third one, having found nothing of interest in the first two, I was in for quite a surprise....OH MY GOSH I AM DYING TO READ WHAT COMES NEXT...so creepy and delightfully written kindest regards and well done Meia xx
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much, Meia, for this lovely review. I'm dead chuffed you are enjoying it! Big hugs! Sandra xx
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i really am ! meia xx
Comment from Rasmine
I thought it was very intriguing to end it the way you did.
I like these sentences: Me ma says I look jus' like me da. I know 'e's got the same 'air as me." His free hand went up and raked through his wiry, wavy black hair. "An' 'e's got smiles in 'is eyes," he told me, with a smile in his eyes, too. "I dunno what year he were born, but 'e's old." Kids don't change regardless of what year they're living in ... I expect all adults seem old to Daveth. He pulled himself up to his full height and proudly told me he was ten years old. (I love the way you write about children -- it's so authentic!)
I found a missing punctuation: Unlike his grandson, this Sir John was an attractive man with none of the signs of debauchery (period) Thank goodness for that! Another bloated, disgusting member of the aristocracy who forced young girls to go down into cold, unlit cellars, would be too much to take (cool sentence).
TC and have fun writing this, which I can tell you are.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
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I thought it was very intriguing to end it the way you did.
I like these sentences: Me ma says I look jus' like me da. I know 'e's got the same 'air as me." His free hand went up and raked through his wiry, wavy black hair. "An' 'e's got smiles in 'is eyes," he told me, with a smile in his eyes, too. "I dunno what year he were born, but 'e's old." Kids don't change regardless of what year they're living in ... I expect all adults seem old to Daveth. He pulled himself up to his full height and proudly told me he was ten years old. (I love the way you write about children -- it's so authentic!)
I found a missing punctuation: Unlike his grandson, this Sir John was an attractive man with none of the signs of debauchery (period) Thank goodness for that! Another bloated, disgusting member of the aristocracy who forced young girls to go down into cold, unlit cellars, would be too much to take (cool sentence).
TC and have fun writing this, which I can tell you are.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much, Rasmine, for another of your wonderful reviews. I'm really pleased you are still enjoying my story! Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
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Hugs back!
Comment from alexisleech
Another great chapter, Sandra, and one that has me looking forward to the next. The revelation that Davith's father saw something he shouldn't adds yet another dimention to the fact he's gone missing - but where?. At least we know he's not in the cess pit!
Hugs from France,
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
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Another great chapter, Sandra, and one that has me looking forward to the next. The revelation that Davith's father saw something he shouldn't adds yet another dimention to the fact he's gone missing - but where?. At least we know he's not in the cess pit!
Hugs from France,
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much, my Scottish-French friend! a Big hug for the lovely 6 stars!! :) xxx
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks about the mystery search and partial revelation per intelligence; she could be detected or identified by watching her sleep; next attic to search; must be situated over the different wings of manor, still mystery remains; I liked.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
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This speaks about the mystery search and partial revelation per intelligence; she could be detected or identified by watching her sleep; next attic to search; must be situated over the different wings of manor, still mystery remains; I liked.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much for reading this part, my friend. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! :) Sandra xx
Comment from pbomar1115
You write with a wonderful imagination in the first-person, Margaret. Not to mention, you write just as well. I'm learning what can be done with first-person. You showed what Veronica experience in different settings. I have not written first-person, so I am getting ideas how it is done.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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You write with a wonderful imagination in the first-person, Margaret. Not to mention, you write just as well. I'm learning what can be done with first-person. You showed what Veronica experience in different settings. I have not written first-person, so I am getting ideas how it is done.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Phillip, I'm really pleased you are enjoying my story. You've got my name wrong, though, it's Sandra. LOL. I looked to see if you had written anything since the last one I reviewed, but you hadn't. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
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Oh! I'm sorry, Sandra.
Phillip
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LOL! I've done that more times than I care to remember, lol, don't worry I knew you meant me by your review. Take care, my friend! xxxx
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Thanks, Sandra, because you have one of the easiest names: I know someone with the exact names both first and last.
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How strange! LOL, no, you shouldn't forget my name!! You have no excuse now. :) xxx
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You got me, Sandra.
Phillip
Comment from giraffmang
Very well written instalment here, deepening the mystery of her sending back.
Dunno. I'll 'ave t'ask me mam / I donno what year he were born - different spellings of dunno for same character.
Get a grip, Veronica, its 1846 - it's 1846.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Very well written instalment here, deepening the mystery of her sending back.
Dunno. I'll 'ave t'ask me mam / I donno what year he were born - different spellings of dunno for same character.
Get a grip, Veronica, its 1846 - it's 1846.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much, G, I'm so pleased you are still enjoying it. I must keep an eye on the words Daveth uses, I've put the 'dunno' right, I don't think I'll forget that one again. :) And I've sorted the 'it's 1846, thank you for pointing them out, I do really appreciate it. Big hugs, my friend. :) xx Sandra xx
Comment from apky
I'm intrigued each read around, and would love to know where the story goes too.
Once more, you've left it at a cliff hanger.
You certainly write very well and the creativity shines through.
Best,
Apky
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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I'm intrigued each read around, and would love to know where the story goes too.
Once more, you've left it at a cliff hanger.
You certainly write very well and the creativity shines through.
Best,
Apky
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much, Apky, for another of your lovely reviews. Veronica will have lots to do in this book! Big hugs, my friend! :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Jay Squires
I think the reader will be discovering that Cadan didn't simply bounce on his wife and son. Something more sinister is going on.
things like a phone or a fountain pen it in [I struggled with this sentence. Did you switch "in" and "it"?]
Good job, Sandra.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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I think the reader will be discovering that Cadan didn't simply bounce on his wife and son. Something more sinister is going on.
things like a phone or a fountain pen it in [I struggled with this sentence. Did you switch "in" and "it"?]
Good job, Sandra.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Hi, Jay. I'd taken that line out, so you must have beaten me to it! LOL. Thank you so much for reading it, my friend. Yes, it's not going to be a bed of roses for Veronica, she has lots to find out and hopefully sort out at the same time. Big hugs, my friend! :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good chapter. You write extremely well. My writing is so full of errors that it takes lots of readers to fix my stories. You have just the right amount of dialog, and a bit of a cliffhanger.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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A very good chapter. You write extremely well. My writing is so full of errors that it takes lots of readers to fix my stories. You have just the right amount of dialog, and a bit of a cliffhanger.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thanks so much, Tom, for reading this part, I'm so pleased you are enjoying it. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from w.j.debi
Good use of dialect to show the education level of Daveth. Excellent description of the manor house. You leave the ending dangling with a good build up so the reader wants to turn the page and see what she has discovered.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Good use of dialect to show the education level of Daveth. Excellent description of the manor house. You leave the ending dangling with a good build up so the reader wants to turn the page and see what she has discovered.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you, that' s what I was hoping for! I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! :) Sandra xxx