Remembering A Childhood Day
A fantasy can be deadly19 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hello, Anonymous Author. Time for me to sit back, do some reading, and settle into your story ...
"Where do angels come from and how does someone get to be an angel? I asked her.
"Well, angels are people who once lived here on earth but have died and gone to heaven. Only the good folks get to be angels and live in the sky with Jesus, Mom said. ... This just goes to show ya, you really gotta be very careful what you say to a kid who's asking you questions, and pay attention to what they're askin' before answering. Some children take what we adults say as gospel, and quite literally ...
"Why did you eat that Sulphur Ruth, Mom asked me. You know better than to do something like that. What would have happened if you got into the DDT; you would have been a mighty sick little girl. Don't ever do anything like that again, do you hear me?(") ... You need a speech tag here at the end of this passage where indicated in red ...
It has often made me wonder if young children don't accidentally killtheir selves themselves while acting out some fantasy in their minds. "...kill themselves while acting out..."
Good story, with only a few minor errors.
Am I warped for having laughed while reading this?
I probably am ...
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Hello, Anonymous Author. Time for me to sit back, do some reading, and settle into your story ...
"Where do angels come from and how does someone get to be an angel? I asked her.
"Well, angels are people who once lived here on earth but have died and gone to heaven. Only the good folks get to be angels and live in the sky with Jesus, Mom said. ... This just goes to show ya, you really gotta be very careful what you say to a kid who's asking you questions, and pay attention to what they're askin' before answering. Some children take what we adults say as gospel, and quite literally ...
"Why did you eat that Sulphur Ruth, Mom asked me. You know better than to do something like that. What would have happened if you got into the DDT; you would have been a mighty sick little girl. Don't ever do anything like that again, do you hear me?(") ... You need a speech tag here at the end of this passage where indicated in red ...
It has often made me wonder if young children don't accidentally kill
Good story, with only a few minor errors.
Am I warped for having laughed while reading this?
I probably am ...
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Dean. I do love your reviews, they are so different and interesting. I need to become more computer savvy so I can do these neat things.
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I just try to be helpful but in an entertaining way, if possible.
Getting someone's attention seems to do the trick.
You're more than welcome.
~Dean
Comment from foxangie123
It definately makes one wonder and it is a well lined story indeed. It is funny, I mean odd, what one remembers or brings forth to their adult lives as most memorable. Nice one.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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It definately makes one wonder and it is a well lined story indeed. It is funny, I mean odd, what one remembers or brings forth to their adult lives as most memorable. Nice one.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you. Yes, it is strange how one never forgets some days. It made me more vigilant of my son, though.
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
This is a very good entry into the "I Remember" contest. I enjoyed the read. The things that children think of...this is just frightening that you actually ate the powder at such a young age to die. My husband was about four or five when his sister accidentally shot him in the head playing with a gun the neighbor had left behind after using the bathroom. She found it on the back of the toilet tank and just was kidding, until a loud bang and he was shot!!!! The thought just scares the shit out of me. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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This is a very good entry into the "I Remember" contest. I enjoyed the read. The things that children think of...this is just frightening that you actually ate the powder at such a young age to die. My husband was about four or five when his sister accidentally shot him in the head playing with a gun the neighbor had left behind after using the bathroom. She found it on the back of the toilet tank and just was kidding, until a loud bang and he was shot!!!! The thought just scares the shit out of me. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you. I didn't have any idea what 'to die' meant. It was just a means to become an angel so I could sit on the clouds.
Comment from Kooky Clown
Powerful story and also bit scary it certainly brings hone that children do not understand a lot of what is said to them or take it literally and do not think of the circumstances. i entertain young children as a clown and I am always careful about what I say or do when entertaining as I never know how children will react or what they will try if I am not careful.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Powerful story and also bit scary it certainly brings hone that children do not understand a lot of what is said to them or take it literally and do not think of the circumstances. i entertain young children as a clown and I am always careful about what I say or do when entertaining as I never know how children will react or what they will try if I am not careful.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you. The minds of children think far differently than an adult mind. Children believe almost everything they hear or are told. You are wise to chose your words carefully.
Comment from create4christ
Too many times I've heard of things just like this. It makes me so sad. This is a very good story...Kinda funny story, though...When my son was only about 3 years old, we were in the mountains. He saw the clouds and said he was going to sit on them. I jerked around and grabbed him just in time...Your story reminded me of this. Great entry for your I REMEMBER contest entry...GOOD LUCK.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Too many times I've heard of things just like this. It makes me so sad. This is a very good story...Kinda funny story, though...When my son was only about 3 years old, we were in the mountains. He saw the clouds and said he was going to sit on them. I jerked around and grabbed him just in time...Your story reminded me of this. Great entry for your I REMEMBER contest entry...GOOD LUCK.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you, my friend. Your son is very lucky that you were quick thinking and grabbed him. It is scary to imagine what goes through a child's mind.
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It is
Comment from RodG
This is a delightful story that should appeal to a wide range of readers. I really like how YOU PUT US THERE, in that home of the little girl who would sit on clouds with angels. You are able to go back in time and recall all the key details and aptly use a child's voice to tell your story. All the elements of a good story are here including the dramatic rise in action to a climax.
A couple errors:
"Why did you eat that Sulphur Dioxide Rum[?]" Mom asked me.
"What would have happened if you got into the DDT[?]"
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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This is a delightful story that should appeal to a wide range of readers. I really like how YOU PUT US THERE, in that home of the little girl who would sit on clouds with angels. You are able to go back in time and recall all the key details and aptly use a child's voice to tell your story. All the elements of a good story are here including the dramatic rise in action to a climax.
A couple errors:
"Why did you eat that Sulphur Dioxide Rum[?]" Mom asked me.
"What would have happened if you got into the DDT[?]"
Comment Written 11-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you. My dad used sulphur for almost everything. He mixed it with lard and treated a dog for mange one time. I don't remember if it worked or not but I do remember him smearing it on the dog and putting a homemade collar on the dog so it couldn't lick the mixture off.
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Writer
WOW! What a memory and thank heavens it was not the DDT. YIKES!! The thoughts of babes. I too wondered about those clouds, back then as a small child, and even to day, I was just cloud gazing only yesterday. I always thought of flying a magic carpet, hopping from cloud to cloud ... lucky my carpet only flew in my imagination, you took it to the zenith here. You've given us a story of remembrance from the POV of a young child. What imagination! My mother came from a small farming town, and children were poisoned by interesting products found in the back sheds/barns ... some did lose their lives. Because of this my mother never let up about poisoning ... though my second son was know as the 'poison hunter', no matter how well concealed ( the cockroach baits under the washing machine/behind the fridge, put there while he was asleep) he always found them. The swimming pool chemicals, yadda yadda ... I was really conscious of locking everything away. Well, you've taken me away into my own remembering and a little horror at the thought of your own. I'm pleased you're still with us.I've enjoyed your story, thought it flowed well, with good descriptive imagery, dialogue, fond memories of wood stove cooking by my grandmother, and the intense heat of cooking on hot summer days. I have heard in my own personal experience of boys jumping off garage roof-tops thinking they could fly ... hmmm I've never contemplated the strife a child in such pursuits, re-lighting fireworks ... sheeesh. Entertaining to read, clear and concise narration of your story. A beginning, a conflict and its happy resolution. I think an excellent entry for the contest. I wish you the best of luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Hi Mystery Writer
WOW! What a memory and thank heavens it was not the DDT. YIKES!! The thoughts of babes. I too wondered about those clouds, back then as a small child, and even to day, I was just cloud gazing only yesterday. I always thought of flying a magic carpet, hopping from cloud to cloud ... lucky my carpet only flew in my imagination, you took it to the zenith here. You've given us a story of remembrance from the POV of a young child. What imagination! My mother came from a small farming town, and children were poisoned by interesting products found in the back sheds/barns ... some did lose their lives. Because of this my mother never let up about poisoning ... though my second son was know as the 'poison hunter', no matter how well concealed ( the cockroach baits under the washing machine/behind the fridge, put there while he was asleep) he always found them. The swimming pool chemicals, yadda yadda ... I was really conscious of locking everything away. Well, you've taken me away into my own remembering and a little horror at the thought of your own. I'm pleased you're still with us.I've enjoyed your story, thought it flowed well, with good descriptive imagery, dialogue, fond memories of wood stove cooking by my grandmother, and the intense heat of cooking on hot summer days. I have heard in my own personal experience of boys jumping off garage roof-tops thinking they could fly ... hmmm I've never contemplated the strife a child in such pursuits, re-lighting fireworks ... sheeesh. Entertaining to read, clear and concise narration of your story. A beginning, a conflict and its happy resolution. I think an excellent entry for the contest. I wish you the best of luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 11-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Lovina. That memory has always remained clear in my mind. It made me more aware when I had my own son to watch over.
Comment from jusylee72
I enjoyed your childhood memory. First off, I am glad you are alive to write it. Life was different back then and we left all sorts of poisons out. Sometimes we had to learn the hard way what we should and shouldn't do. Thank you for your story.
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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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I enjoyed your childhood memory. First off, I am glad you are alive to write it. Life was different back then and we left all sorts of poisons out. Sometimes we had to learn the hard way what we should and shouldn't do. Thank you for your story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you. Dad raised a variety of crops and used insect killer on all of them. He never locked the chemicals up. He bought them in large sacks and sat them in the garage.
Comment from royowen
I suppose that's why the announcer says, "don't try this at home without a strict parental presence!" I'm glad you're still here to share this lovely story of childhood innocence and an harassed mother who was patient enough to share her thoughts with you. Well written, smoothly scribed, a most enjoyable entry in this contest, no spags I could detect, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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I suppose that's why the announcer says, "don't try this at home without a strict parental presence!" I'm glad you're still here to share this lovely story of childhood innocence and an harassed mother who was patient enough to share her thoughts with you. Well written, smoothly scribed, a most enjoyable entry in this contest, no spags I could detect, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you. I'm glad to be here too. It is so easy to lose a child to such an incident as the one I went through. It was a good lesson for me, though.
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Well done
