All the Ways
Love Poem33 total reviews
Comment from visionary1234
Oh you're so GOOD at purple poetry Steve! Right up there with Elizabeth Barrett Browning. "Lush" is the word that comes to mind, lush and sexy. Love it!
:) Sharyn
Spacing needs to be fixed in the stanza starting "I have touched you" - looks like it needs to be centre justified??
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
  |
Oh you're so GOOD at purple poetry Steve! Right up there with Elizabeth Barrett Browning. "Lush" is the word that comes to mind, lush and sexy. Love it!
:) Sharyn
Spacing needs to be fixed in the stanza starting "I have touched you" - looks like it needs to be centre justified??
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Thanks for the kind words - I guess I invited the EBB comparison with the 'let me count the ways' allusion. Can't say I really know her work apart from a couple of sonnets.
Thanks for the six stars too _ have been pleasantly surprised by the feedback about my last couple of free verse attempts - as you know it's never been my forte. Don't think you will have seen my 'River gods' piece from 2-3 weeks ago which I feel is one of my best.
Hope all is well with you.
Steve
-
I'll catch up with it Steve! My son has been seriously ill for the last few weeks so FS has been totally out of my orbit, but we just got a confirmed diagnosis this morning and though he's sick, he'll live through this, so I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief! Your free verse is always lovely - don't downplay yourself my dear!
-
Cheers! All the best for his recovery - waiting and not really knowing is often the most difficult part.
Steve
-
Yes it is - we're all breathing a sigh of relief, believe me! :)
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Your turn of phrase is exquisite, Steve, and equips your reader with mind pictures of splendour. Yet you have not forgotten the ordinary, the busy streets and blinding lights. Best wishes for the competition, Giddy
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
|
Your turn of phrase is exquisite, Steve, and equips your reader with mind pictures of splendour. Yet you have not forgotten the ordinary, the busy streets and blinding lights. Best wishes for the competition, Giddy
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Giddy, thanks for the six stars and the great review.
Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
wow what an entry to the contest.
The descriptions and the words used add a different flavor to the piece entirely.
Nice and smooth as it leads from one part to the next. and the last line pulls it all together
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
 |
wow what an entry to the contest.
The descriptions and the words used add a different flavor to the piece entirely.
Nice and smooth as it leads from one part to the next. and the last line pulls it all together
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Thanks, Barb.
Steve
Comment from w.j.debi
Ah, now there is a love poem. Love does take constant attention and you character appears wise enough to understand and relish it.
I like the formatting. It emphasizes the
I have wooed you
I pursued you
I have touched you
I will love you all the ways that love is true.
Wow.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
|
Ah, now there is a love poem. Love does take constant attention and you character appears wise enough to understand and relish it.
I like the formatting. It emphasizes the
I have wooed you
I pursued you
I have touched you
I will love you all the ways that love is true.
Wow.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Thanks fir the enthusiastic review. Glad you enjoyed the piece.
Steve
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a very nice love poem. No one could ask for more than: "I will love you all the ways that love is true." Your imagery is lush. Excellent word choices. I enjoyed reading your piece. Marilyn
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
|
This is a very nice love poem. No one could ask for more than: "I will love you all the ways that love is true." Your imagery is lush. Excellent word choices. I enjoyed reading your piece. Marilyn
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Thanks, Marilyn - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Quire's Gal
Hi Steve. You get my "Personification's of FanStory" award. Your personification skills are exceptional. Your opening stanza is my favorite.
I have wooed you
with the turbulent song
of spring-fed waters
surging in irresistible splendour
to leap in glee from mountain's lip,
a cataract of diamonds,
(great subtle alliteration here)
The only thing that broke "the spell" of this captivating piece was the last line. Although it's beautiful, it seemed to shift outside of the rest of he piece. I don't question the message in the final line. In fact it's the perfect summation of the poem. (Maybe you planned that). For me, it was just so much of a shift from your spectacular personification and imagery.
I wish you the best in the contest.
Take Care,
Quire's Gal.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
|
Hi Steve. You get my "Personification's of FanStory" award. Your personification skills are exceptional. Your opening stanza is my favorite.
I have wooed you
with the turbulent song
of spring-fed waters
surging in irresistible splendour
to leap in glee from mountain's lip,
a cataract of diamonds,
(great subtle alliteration here)
The only thing that broke "the spell" of this captivating piece was the last line. Although it's beautiful, it seemed to shift outside of the rest of he piece. I don't question the message in the final line. In fact it's the perfect summation of the poem. (Maybe you planned that). For me, it was just so much of a shift from your spectacular personification and imagery.
I wish you the best in the contest.
Take Care,
Quire's Gal.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Thanks for the great review - glad you liked the 'poetics' here.
I know that last line broke the pattern of the other stanzas, but I needed a strong finish and couldn't see how else to get it (in my usual mad rush to post the piece in time!) That was actually the very first line I wrote and I had been looking at it for a couple of days trying to get the rest of the poem to emerge...
Steve
-
You're most welcome Steve. Good luck once more in the contest!
Comment from Gloria ....
Steve, I love the personal touch that you begin your love poem with, I feel as a reader, it could be written to me. Which is naturally the intimacy all good poetry inspires.
I have wooed you
with the turbulent song
of spring-fed waters
surging in irresistible splendour
to leap in glee from mountain's lip,
a cataract of diamonds,
Those are the flowing features of love with a subtle erotic undertone that is understood while it gently washes over the reader.
And we are further drawn into the warmth of love with the lazy afternoons and sunbeams that caress our skin as softly as silk. Lovely understated alliteration which is always the best way to deliver that poetic device.
with the sleepy chuckle
of the summer pool
silvered in lustrous sheen
on a Sunday afternoon
of silken sunbeams.
Then closing with the declaration this is a serious love one that has required a decision, a pursuit, so it is not simply a passing fancy, but a firm commitment--a must for trust.
It's a confident write and a real contender for the contest. Best wishes to you.
Gloria
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
|
Steve, I love the personal touch that you begin your love poem with, I feel as a reader, it could be written to me. Which is naturally the intimacy all good poetry inspires.
I have wooed you
with the turbulent song
of spring-fed waters
surging in irresistible splendour
to leap in glee from mountain's lip,
a cataract of diamonds,
Those are the flowing features of love with a subtle erotic undertone that is understood while it gently washes over the reader.
And we are further drawn into the warmth of love with the lazy afternoons and sunbeams that caress our skin as softly as silk. Lovely understated alliteration which is always the best way to deliver that poetic device.
with the sleepy chuckle
of the summer pool
silvered in lustrous sheen
on a Sunday afternoon
of silken sunbeams.
Then closing with the declaration this is a serious love one that has required a decision, a pursuit, so it is not simply a passing fancy, but a firm commitment--a must for trust.
It's a confident write and a real contender for the contest. Best wishes to you.
Gloria
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Thanks, Gloria - I actually thought I might have over-cooked the alliteration in that stanza - it's a fine line between subtle and obvious!
I appreciate your thoughtful reading and reviewing.
Steve
Comment from MissMerri
This love poem would make any heart swoon. It is truly beautiful and tenderly moving in the ways it describes the art of loving. I don't think any comparison is forgotten... there is the heat, the light, the rushing waters and the calm, the country and the city. The images are vivid and the symbolism pure. A truly beautiful piece that gives new meaning to the idea of love poetry. I think it will do well in this contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
|
This love poem would make any heart swoon. It is truly beautiful and tenderly moving in the ways it describes the art of loving. I don't think any comparison is forgotten... there is the heat, the light, the rushing waters and the calm, the country and the city. The images are vivid and the symbolism pure. A truly beautiful piece that gives new meaning to the idea of love poetry. I think it will do well in this contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Thanks, Adonna - you know I value your opinion so this means a lot.
Should I be casting a wary eye over my shoulder to see what you have written for this?!
Steve
-
Not this time. Compared to yours, my poem is a joke. No worries at all! ;")
Comment from kiwijenny
with the dulcet glow
of lazy moon's bedazzlement
against the velvet curtain of the night.
I will love you all the ways that love is true.
I like the word choices ...dulcet is one of my favorites
Beautiful imagery
God bless
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
|
with the dulcet glow
of lazy moon's bedazzlement
against the velvet curtain of the night.
I will love you all the ways that love is true.
I like the word choices ...dulcet is one of my favorites
Beautiful imagery
God bless
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Thanks, Jenny.
Yeah, hit the romantic language button for this one. Glad you felt that it works.
Steve
Comment from Sis Cat
This is quite good. I read it twice and it improved on my second reading. Your descriptions of love are passionate, lush, and sumptuous. Your words come out in surging emotions. You use water metaphors such as "a cataract of diamonds" that provide a stunning image. This poem radiates love. Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
|
This is quite good. I read it twice and it improved on my second reading. Your descriptions of love are passionate, lush, and sumptuous. Your words come out in surging emotions. You use water metaphors such as "a cataract of diamonds" that provide a stunning image. This poem radiates love. Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Thank you!
Yes, I hit the romantic language button for this one. Hope this is what the judges are looking for.
Steve