When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Guilt"A family's love is tested.
21 total reviews
Comment from Deniz22
"I started to write this memoir in hopes of having an epiphany to get rid of the guilt. Well, it just happened tonight as I reflected on this" An excellent reason to write...
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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"I started to write this memoir in hopes of having an epiphany to get rid of the guilt. Well, it just happened tonight as I reflected on this" An excellent reason to write...
Comment Written 11-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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"A life not examined is a life not worth living" or something like that. I don't remember who said. Thoreau?
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I believe C. S. Lewis said that...or at least, he quoted it. :)
Comment from Louise Michelle
What happened to the condo that Barb bought on her own?
Taking care of elders is a daunting task. Perhaps you should have told Hubby it would be too much for you before extending the house. Hm...I guess your relationship with your daughter is playing a part in the stress.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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What happened to the condo that Barb bought on her own?
Taking care of elders is a daunting task. Perhaps you should have told Hubby it would be too much for you before extending the house. Hm...I guess your relationship with your daughter is playing a part in the stress.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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That was in chapter seven I believe. She sold it after she moved to Tennessee, but took a big loss. I wasn't real happy when Hubby made the offer since Mom lived just four miles away, but she was in pain all the time and Bobby moved out leaving her alone--for the first time in her life. I was health enough to handle it, but I honestly thought she didn't have that long to live. Isn't that awful! Actually, she wanted to pass over. Had no interest in staying on earth. I feel the same way- not so much now, but when I'm alone and her age.
Comment from gypsycaravan
Real life can be so much more complicated than any fiction. I'll be anxious to see how you resolved care for your mom vs. your work that you loved. Seems like you went from being caretaker for your mom and now it's your beloved spouse. Bless you, spitfire.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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Real life can be so much more complicated than any fiction. I'll be anxious to see how you resolved care for your mom vs. your work that you loved. Seems like you went from being caretaker for your mom and now it's your beloved spouse. Bless you, spitfire.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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You know, that thought just hit me yesterday. I told a friend that maybe this time I would do it right. She said, "Don't be so hard on yourself. You were in different time and place fifteen years ago."
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Your friend gave you great advice. Do be kind to yourself. It's a lot easier to be kind and patient with the one you're caring for if you take good care of yourself, too. This is spoken from experience.
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I'm learning. :-)
Comment from alexisleech
I think it's always easier to analyse other people's problems than it is your own. I remodelled my dad's house and put in central heating so he could stay in his own home after my mother went into a home, but aged 93 they took him into a home for a short time to assess his needs and he was dead two weeks later. You did the right thing letting your mum stay, but I can imagine the sacrifices you had to make.
Alexis x
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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I think it's always easier to analyse other people's problems than it is your own. I remodelled my dad's house and put in central heating so he could stay in his own home after my mother went into a home, but aged 93 they took him into a home for a short time to assess his needs and he was dead two weeks later. You did the right thing letting your mum stay, but I can imagine the sacrifices you had to make.
Alexis x
Comment Written 11-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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I tend to believe when it's your time to go, you do. We did the right thing to take Mom in, but there's a twist coming soon.
Comment from kiwijenny
Oh Shari, we none of know what stress is going on really. I have two daughters and a son. I'm just now feeling close to my daughter again since she has had a baby. We are so much alike that we butt heads and always have. I saw a doctors sign that said, "We treat you like family." I immediately thought , that's bad I'm not going there! :o) lol
Why are we women guilt collectors?
God bless
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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Oh Shari, we none of know what stress is going on really. I have two daughters and a son. I'm just now feeling close to my daughter again since she has had a baby. We are so much alike that we butt heads and always have. I saw a doctors sign that said, "We treat you like family." I immediately thought , that's bad I'm not going there! :o) lol
Why are we women guilt collectors?
God bless
Comment Written 11-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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Thanks for sharing your story, kiwi. Nichole and I were unusually close for a mother and daughter. MY mom thought so and couldn't believe what happened.
Hey, I have a dentist who treats me like family, but I pay for it. LOL
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Of course you can't put your mom in a rest home when she added to the value of your home with her addition. You just had to hire a nurse to come by to care for her needs that were getting too hard to handle.
But now you were being treated the same as Barb treated your mom? Just what you didn't need! I look forward to seeing what went wrong, tho I feel like I'm spying into your life. You are so open with it tho... the sex scenes in you wonderful little book are amazing. How can you be so open with strangers ... and of course, family and friends read your stuff too, I imagine. You're much braver than I could ever be, Shari. :)
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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Of course you can't put your mom in a rest home when she added to the value of your home with her addition. You just had to hire a nurse to come by to care for her needs that were getting too hard to handle.
But now you were being treated the same as Barb treated your mom? Just what you didn't need! I look forward to seeing what went wrong, tho I feel like I'm spying into your life. You are so open with it tho... the sex scenes in you wonderful little book are amazing. How can you be so open with strangers ... and of course, family and friends read your stuff too, I imagine. You're much braver than I could ever be, Shari. :)
Comment Written 11-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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I'm not sharing the book with family and friends, especially my son and daughter. I wouldn't want to read their exploits either. Frank, of course, read it, and can't get over the deal with Ron!
As for a nurse, she didn't need one yet and there's was always someone home since Frank worked when I didn't. I always say, that's why our marriage lasted so long.
Comment from Eigle Rull
This is a wonderful chapter. It is a well written story of a family who loves one another but loves their individuality even more. One part I don't understand - never mind, I figured it out. I thought Barb had cut cords with your mom again. Now I understand that your daughter cut cords with you. That must have been very hard on you. I know how that can feel from experience.
My friend, I am really enjoying this story very much. It brings a lot of my own life back to memory. Especially having to do with my mom. I have a great admiration for your writing skills and your straight forward attitude. Thank you for sharing.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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This is a wonderful chapter. It is a well written story of a family who loves one another but loves their individuality even more. One part I don't understand - never mind, I figured it out. I thought Barb had cut cords with your mom again. Now I understand that your daughter cut cords with you. That must have been very hard on you. I know how that can feel from experience.
My friend, I am really enjoying this story very much. It brings a lot of my own life back to memory. Especially having to do with my mom. I have a great admiration for your writing skills and your straight forward attitude. Thank you for sharing.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 11-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Eigle, for the sensitive review and exceptional rating.
The next part deals with my daughter and the hurt she dealt me. I know you're familiar with that kind of pain too.
Comment from Sasha
How sad. Families always have bad timing. Just when you need them the most they pull away. Excellent work with this chapter. You did a great job with it.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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How sad. Families always have bad timing. Just when you need them the most they pull away. Excellent work with this chapter. You did a great job with it.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thanks, Sasha. Just finished reviewing your story.
Comment from maggieadams
Oh, you have left the reader wanting the next chapter now...relationships, I have come to realize that the mother/ daughter relationship is the most complex and difficult and then the other is that the longest relationship we will ever have is the one with our sibling and it goes through so many stages. Nice writing and drawing us into the human emotions we all feel, but few are honest enough to admit it.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Oh, you have left the reader wanting the next chapter now...relationships, I have come to realize that the mother/ daughter relationship is the most complex and difficult and then the other is that the longest relationship we will ever have is the one with our sibling and it goes through so many stages. Nice writing and drawing us into the human emotions we all feel, but few are honest enough to admit it.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Thanks, Maggie. You're right about mothers and daughters. Give me all sons next time around. LOL
Comment from boxergirl
This post came through. Sounds like you are dealing with
the guilt we feel when having to take care of aging loved ones and on top of that your own daughter has seemed to pull away from you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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This post came through. Sounds like you are dealing with
the guilt we feel when having to take care of aging loved ones and on top of that your own daughter has seemed to pull away from you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
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Yes, I hadn't remember that the two events occurred so close together until today. The irony is I was pulling away from Mom internally until... wait and see.
