THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "AN ELONGATED ABBREVIATION (Pt 3) "JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
22 total reviews
Comment from Fridayauthor
I don't know about you, but I hate to write summaries! I didn't like book reports in school either.
You did a nice job on the highlights of these chapters. Was what you lost on your computer not posted on this site? I have to assume not, or you would have retrieved it from here.
Good job with this piece.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
  |
I don't know about you, but I hate to write summaries! I didn't like book reports in school either.
You did a nice job on the highlights of these chapters. Was what you lost on your computer not posted on this site? I have to assume not, or you would have retrieved it from here.
Good job with this piece.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
No, it was lost right from my freaking desktop, tucked away in a folder. I was writing so fast and furiously toward the end (probably 9 hours a day)and I kept telling myself I'm gonna have to take the time to slow down and back it up. I had the devise. I could have dragged the entire folder all at once over to that. Anyway, all water under the whatchacallit; I now have Dropbox. It's free. My stuff starts there and when I save it it goes directly there. If my computer crashes again, I just notify Dropbox and they drop all my files onto my new computer.
Thanks for your concern, Ray.
Comment from krprice
Check through for punctuation, but since you won't be subbing this, it's not that important.
Devastated,. . . he has. . .
The synopsis is good. At least, it reminds us what is going on.
Karlene
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
|
Check through for punctuation, but since you won't be subbing this, it's not that important.
Devastated,. . . he has. . .
The synopsis is good. At least, it reminds us what is going on.
Karlene
Comment Written 03-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
Thanks, Karlene. Are you back now, or never left?
-
I did go to the US Figure Skating Nationals for almost two weeks in Jan..
I'm about halfway through Murder and Magic and will be posting another chapter tomorrow. Probably two a week.
Karlene
-
I didn't know you were a skater. Are you going to be shortening your chapters any?
-
I'm not a skater. Just love watching it. Most of my chapters are shorter than 4K. My first few chapters of a book are usually longer than the chapters in the rest of the book.
Karlene
-
I had a hunch you were just going to watch it. I was just playing with you. I only know how to do a line-by-line critique. It's time consuming, of course. If I could be more general as you are on yours, I could breeze through your long chapters in 1/3 the time it takes me. It took me well over an hour to finish yours. That was why I was asking.
Comment from chasennov
THE TRINING Book Three AN ELONGATED ABBREVIATION (Pt 3) I am truly sorry about the computer crash, Jay. Hope you can recreate what you've lost. This is again an excellent chapter you have created here. If I could find real fault in your work? But none. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
|
THE TRINING Book Three AN ELONGATED ABBREVIATION (Pt 3) I am truly sorry about the computer crash, Jay. Hope you can recreate what you've lost. This is again an excellent chapter you have created here. If I could find real fault in your work? But none. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
Thank you, Chas. Hope to have you along for the actual chapters--starting about Saturday.
-
You are most welcome, Jay. Look forward to it.
Comment from krazee3377
First of all thank you for sharing your piece. I know how much courage it takes to put your work out there for all to see and pick apart. I love honesty and I always learn something about myself, and am still amazed how healing writing can be. Weather fiction or non I believe there is a truth at the heart of every message. As a writer, I use it at theropy and always feel a little more sane when I share. I really enjoyed this piece and can't wait to see where it goes. Good luck and keep sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
|
First of all thank you for sharing your piece. I know how much courage it takes to put your work out there for all to see and pick apart. I love honesty and I always learn something about myself, and am still amazed how healing writing can be. Weather fiction or non I believe there is a truth at the heart of every message. As a writer, I use it at theropy and always feel a little more sane when I share. I really enjoyed this piece and can't wait to see where it goes. Good luck and keep sharing.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
Thank you, my friend. I'm happy to have you read this synopsis (kinda a synopsis), and hope you continue on to read the actual chapters.
Comment from Dashjianta
Poor Jed...time to find out his fate soon.
You've brought the summary back to where the last chapter ended neatly.
Nits:
Devastated, but feeling like he as (has) little now to lose
he wouldn't already have already sent a courier
--Too many 'already's
JED: Doctrex's original courier, who later got permission from him to become and (an) AIM.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
|
Poor Jed...time to find out his fate soon.
You've brought the summary back to where the last chapter ended neatly.
Nits:
Devastated, but feeling like he as (has) little now to lose
he wouldn't already have already sent a courier
--Too many 'already's
JED: Doctrex's original courier, who later got permission from him to become and (an) AIM.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
Oh, my God, Alex. I can't believe all these nits. I've had others point them out to me and made those changes. Whoa! I'll attend to it now.
Comment from c_lucas
Doctrex is making his best effort to over come the failure of his mission. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
|
Doctrex is making his best effort to over come the failure of his mission. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
THanks, Charlie. Must be a kind of drag for you, since you've read them all already. But thanks.
-
I try to be a reviewer. You're welcome, Jay. Charlie
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Jay,
Really good catch up. Of course, I'm looking forward to your posting your new chapters.
~ QUESTION ~ I was researching ellipses at the end of a sentence. And they were shown as below. I noticed you do yours differently, as shown in the formula. Are there different ways to do them??
~ Formula :: word,period,space,ellipses,space, word
things. ... The door
"Sir," Garvin says, under his breath, "if we may talk ..." He gives a
Anyway, just thought I'd check it out with you.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
|
Hi, Jay,
Really good catch up. Of course, I'm looking forward to your posting your new chapters.
~ QUESTION ~ I was researching ellipses at the end of a sentence. And they were shown as below. I noticed you do yours differently, as shown in the formula. Are there different ways to do them??
~ Formula :: word,period,space,ellipses,space, word
things. ... The door
"Sir," Garvin says, under his breath, "if we may talk ..." He gives a
Anyway, just thought I'd check it out with you.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
At the end of a complete sentence where you still want the feeling of a "dropping off" you use four dots. One for the period, a space then three more dots, such as "I like cats. ..." If there's no closed quote there is a space before the next word. If the sentence in incomplete there are only three dots with a space after the word that initiates the drop off, and before the next word. The European/Australian model has no space before or after.
-
Thx. (*<*) I knew I could count on you.
I was looking at the European/Australian version. It seems like every site you look at it puts a twist on it. Grrrrr.
Thx. I appreciate your help. (*<*)
Comment from GWHARGIS
I am so very sorry you lost the last chapters of your book. I can only imagine how sick you must have felt. I am still enthralled with this story. I will wait for you to post the chapters. Great summation here. Gretchen
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
|
I am so very sorry you lost the last chapters of your book. I can only imagine how sick you must have felt. I am still enthralled with this story. I will wait for you to post the chapters. Great summation here. Gretchen
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
Thank you for your sincere concern. I've finished the first two chapters and starting on the third. A whole bunch more to go. I'm glad you find the summary helpful.
Comment from Thewriterwithnoname
Again this accomplishes what you set out to do, getting the noobies up to speed, but this doesn't have the same pop as the second part of your synopsis. So it's effective, but a bit on the dry side--guess they should just read the actual story! They'd be doing themselves a favor to read a treat like the Trining, money or no. What I'm noticing here, at least with this part, is that there tends to be a little too much superfluous detail for a synopsis. For instance: "They place Jed on the bed next to Doctrex's, Jed's being slightly lower, so Doctrex can more easily minister to him." I feel as though the bit about Jed's bed being lower isn't necessary here and distracts somewhat. I think this would be better: They place Jed on the bed beside Doctrex's, who immediately begins ministering to him. Still drier than a well done steak, but it's more direct.
A few things:
"He speculates aloud that capturing the Kabeezan General, should certainly increase his rank." I'm a fool when it comes to commas, but I think the one here seems misplace.
"to advise The Almighty Glnot Rhuether that he his putting him to death?" he IS.
"He wants to know what has changed with him?" I this shouldn't have a question mark. The way it's written it's questioning whether or not if that's what he wanted.
"crossan wa between his and Doctrex's" WAS
I feel like all of these suggested changes are completely needless because the work itself is wonderful. Can't wait for the next chapter!
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
|
Again this accomplishes what you set out to do, getting the noobies up to speed, but this doesn't have the same pop as the second part of your synopsis. So it's effective, but a bit on the dry side--guess they should just read the actual story! They'd be doing themselves a favor to read a treat like the Trining, money or no. What I'm noticing here, at least with this part, is that there tends to be a little too much superfluous detail for a synopsis. For instance: "They place Jed on the bed next to Doctrex's, Jed's being slightly lower, so Doctrex can more easily minister to him." I feel as though the bit about Jed's bed being lower isn't necessary here and distracts somewhat. I think this would be better: They place Jed on the bed beside Doctrex's, who immediately begins ministering to him. Still drier than a well done steak, but it's more direct.
A few things:
"He speculates aloud that capturing the Kabeezan General, should certainly increase his rank." I'm a fool when it comes to commas, but I think the one here seems misplace.
"to advise The Almighty Glnot Rhuether that he his putting him to death?" he IS.
"He wants to know what has changed with him?" I this shouldn't have a question mark. The way it's written it's questioning whether or not if that's what he wanted.
"crossan wa between his and Doctrex's" WAS
I feel like all of these suggested changes are completely needless because the work itself is wonderful. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
"drier than a well done steak," LOL! You are funny. I'm just glad to get it out there so if anyone asks me a question in a review about the earlier parts of this book, I can simply point them to the one of the summaries in my portfolio. I ABSOLUTELY agree with you on the sleeping arrangements. I don't know where my head was. I'll go back and change that. Right also on the comma. Right, as a matter of fact, on everything. You are da bomb, Sean!
-
You know, I can't stand when people do that. If you want to know what happened earlier in the story then READ what happened earlier in the story. If a movie critic admits in his review that he got up for fifteen minutes to get himself a bucket of popcorn, then make some comments on Facebook and then afterwards criticizes the movie for being confusing, that's on him.
Comment from alf collier
Hi Jay. Am saving a six because I know I will need it for the next posting! I think I saw a tiny spag in para 6 . . .that he his putting him to death(?). Again, this teaser leads me to want to read on, alf.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
|
Hi Jay. Am saving a six because I know I will need it for the next posting! I think I saw a tiny spag in para 6 . . .that he his putting him to death(?). Again, this teaser leads me to want to read on, alf.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
-
Thanks, Alf. I'm not expecting any sixes on these summaries. They're just there so if someone asks me a question when I'm into the chapters, I can refer them to 1,2, or 3 of the summaries. Thanks for the catch in that paragraph. I'll go fix it now.