THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "THE UNMASKING OF ARKLYN ZARBS (Pt 2)"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
27 total reviews
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another interesting addition to the story that the author has created here. There is a power struggle going on here and the politics are getting rough in this piece. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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This is yet another interesting addition to the story that the author has created here. There is a power struggle going on here and the politics are getting rough in this piece. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thanks, Tomes. Appreciate your stopping by and reviewing this novel.
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My pleasure
Comment from Walter L. Jones
In a pit,death on the brink, Korea brain wash, or wall tease, the writer claiming more, soldier or General, life, reality, whose, looking for answers, strange twist, lies and more, I wonder.. Walt
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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In a pit,death on the brink, Korea brain wash, or wall tease, the writer claiming more, soldier or General, life, reality, whose, looking for answers, strange twist, lies and more, I wonder.. Walt
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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All of this crossed my mind, my dear, faithful friend, but it complete sentences. LOL, Geez, thanks Walt. And an especial thanks for the sixer.
Comment from boxergirl
Excellent continuation of your story line, Jay. Your character descriptions are strong which helps us visualize their appearance. Zarbs seems to be a heartless bastard but not so bright. 8-)
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Excellent continuation of your story line, Jay. Your character descriptions are strong which helps us visualize their appearance. Zarbs seems to be a heartless bastard but not so bright. 8-)
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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True about Zarbs on both points. Stay tuned. I think you'll enjoy what happens.
Comment from lancellot
A very interesting chapter. I like the back and forth. It makes you wonder who is interrogating who. The General has lost his fear and is using his mind. Well done. perfectly written.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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A very interesting chapter. I like the back and forth. It makes you wonder who is interrogating who. The General has lost his fear and is using his mind. Well done. perfectly written.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thanks for the 6 stars, Lancellot! Thanks especially for enjoying the interaction between Doctrex and Zarbs.
Comment from Writingfundimension
When the demon gives you his name, Jay, you've got some power over them. And serial killers love to talk about themselves. Give them an audience and they'll spill their guts. Seems to me that Doctrex has the psychological advantage on several points, including the fact Zarbs is scared spitless of the Almighty Master. His calm in the midst of the devastating information is admirable. He really is a true leader.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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When the demon gives you his name, Jay, you've got some power over them. And serial killers love to talk about themselves. Give them an audience and they'll spill their guts. Seems to me that Doctrex has the psychological advantage on several points, including the fact Zarbs is scared spitless of the Almighty Master. His calm in the midst of the devastating information is admirable. He really is a true leader.
:) Bev
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Bev, you are so astute! On the psychology of it, and on Doctrex's calmness throughout it. I'm thrilled it showed. I am equally thrilled by the proof of your enjoyment. Thanks for the 6 stars, Bev!
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Well, thanks so much for the compliment, Jay. I've always considered you a gracious man, which is further borne out by your kind words.
All your chapters are six-worthy, Jay. I follow a lot of writers, so I have be to a bit stingy. :)
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Well, you are a wonderful writer, reviewer and friend. I appreciate all of you!
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Aw, thanks Jay. Ditto. :)
Comment from mmjg65
General Doctrex certainly has a set that clanks, I'll say that for him. Looking forward to finding out what Doctrex has found to smile about...
"Oh, they did, general." I realize that the rules for capitalizing rank or titles are ambivalent, even contradictory, depending on the source, and especially when it comes to writing fiction. Myself, I lean toward capitalizing rank anytime it is used to directly address the holder of that rank, regardless of whether the proper name of the person is spoken or implied. Implied As in "The Almighty Master," or the "Supreme Commander," both of which are capitalized here without the use of a proper name. That's my two cents, is all.
Anyway, once again, I'm totally wowed and already waiting for the next one! -Mark
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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General Doctrex certainly has a set that clanks, I'll say that for him. Looking forward to finding out what Doctrex has found to smile about...
"Oh, they did, general." I realize that the rules for capitalizing rank or titles are ambivalent, even contradictory, depending on the source, and especially when it comes to writing fiction. Myself, I lean toward capitalizing rank anytime it is used to directly address the holder of that rank, regardless of whether the proper name of the person is spoken or implied. Implied As in "The Almighty Master," or the "Supreme Commander," both of which are capitalized here without the use of a proper name. That's my two cents, is all.
Anyway, once again, I'm totally wowed and already waiting for the next one! -Mark
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Mark, you astound me with the sixer! My thanks abound! And I thoroughly agree with you about the titles. I've flip-flopped on this more than any other issue. I think what I'll do is go back and use the find/replace function on word and capitalize each of them. But I can't afford to do it now. I'll probably continue the way I have until the book's end. Thanks for giving me perspective.
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You are welcome, as always. I'm glad I didn't come across as a nit-picky fart about the whole thing. the issue really is vague at best. Also, in response to your message: "Re: six star review." I'm am pleased you value my reviews. Thank you! -Mark
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Indeed I do, Mark. You are an asset for a serious writer.
Comment from Fridayauthor
This was a very good chapter with just the right amount of tension to lead into the next posting. The dialog was tight and it showed the emotions of the speakers very well.
Nice job, Jay.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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This was a very good chapter with just the right amount of tension to lead into the next posting. The dialog was tight and it showed the emotions of the speakers very well.
Nice job, Jay.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Ray. Two things I'm not used to from you. A sixer. Wow, I am humbled by it, knowing you are stingy with them (I mean that in the best possible way), and the second thing, your directness and pointedness. Usually, I can count on one thing that needs a tweaking. LOL, you are an asset to my writing, Ray.
Comment from krprice
"One in particular was. . . He took so. . . Plain of Dzur (proper noun)
Good chapter. Interesting conversation between Doctrex and his captor.
Karlene
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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"One in particular was. . . He took so. . . Plain of Dzur (proper noun)
Good chapter. Interesting conversation between Doctrex and his captor.
Karlene
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Karlene. Took care of the capitalization--thanks for the good eye.
Comment from Dashjianta
Another strong chapter. Supreme Colonel Zarbs is coming across as a nasty, somewhat deranged man. Doctrex handles him well, but I get the impression if he says the wrong thing Zarbs will snap, regardless of the consequences.
Descriptions are good, and dialogue flows well. Only a couple of minor suggestions this time:
And the death the AIM was willing to accept, would be at his own hands by way of a poison capsule secreted
--Not sure you need the comma.
Just keep him talking. I still had information he needed.
--Is the section in between the two 'Just keep him talking's meant to be in italics?
The Supreme Commander of the Kabeezan Army
--Does he mean to say this, or should it be general? Just asking because he goes on to compare ranks afterwards.
With those words, his eyes, his voice(,) his whole countenance
do you think it wise to wait until after you've had me killed to send all this marvelous knowledge you'd extracted from me to Glnot Rhuether
--You've got a tense clash: you've and you'd
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Another strong chapter. Supreme Colonel Zarbs is coming across as a nasty, somewhat deranged man. Doctrex handles him well, but I get the impression if he says the wrong thing Zarbs will snap, regardless of the consequences.
Descriptions are good, and dialogue flows well. Only a couple of minor suggestions this time:
And the death the AIM was willing to accept, would be at his own hands by way of a poison capsule secreted
--Not sure you need the comma.
Just keep him talking. I still had information he needed.
--Is the section in between the two 'Just keep him talking's meant to be in italics?
The Supreme Commander of the Kabeezan Army
--Does he mean to say this, or should it be general? Just asking because he goes on to compare ranks afterwards.
With those words, his eyes, his voice(,) his whole countenance
do you think it wise to wait until after you've had me killed to send all this marvelous knowledge you'd extracted from me to Glnot Rhuether
--You've got a tense clash: you've and you'd
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Some good points here. Thank you for taking the time to ferret them out. I know what you mean about the "Supreme Commander". I'll take a real close look at that.
Comment from royowen
A very interesting episode, after presumably being captured and out staring supreme colonel Zarba, who is planning on torturing and killing Doctrex, but that can't really happen, because Glnot Reuther would have won....again and that would be as they say that.. But I don't think you'll break the faith, good and clever interlude Jay, well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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A very interesting episode, after presumably being captured and out staring supreme colonel Zarba, who is planning on torturing and killing Doctrex, but that can't really happen, because Glnot Reuther would have won....again and that would be as they say that.. But I don't think you'll break the faith, good and clever interlude Jay, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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I'm hoping you'll find the resolution emotionally satisfying, even if a tad violent.