THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "THE METAMORPH'S RETURN (PT. 1)"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
26 total reviews
Comment from amahra
I thought you did an awesome job of allowing readers to see his coming out of a coma through his eyes. That's very hard to do unless you've been in one yourself.
"Listen, just call me[,]Eele."
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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I thought you did an awesome job of allowing readers to see his coming out of a coma through his eyes. That's very hard to do unless you've been in one yourself.
"Listen, just call me[,]Eele."
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Ama, for coming along and especially for your kind remarks. I've never been knocked out or in a coma. I don't think I'd want to take "method acting" to that degree. I hope you continue on in the series.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a wonderful read as usual. I keep going back to his trying to convince himself that everything has been a hallucination - which is logical and a normal safety mechanism, but leads me to believe he missed whatever dimension he was supposed to arrive at. I also think you did an exceptional job of his thought process while unconscious as that is truly what it is like - you hear it all and cannot do a thing about it. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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This is a wonderful read as usual. I keep going back to his trying to convince himself that everything has been a hallucination - which is logical and a normal safety mechanism, but leads me to believe he missed whatever dimension he was supposed to arrive at. I also think you did an exceptional job of his thought process while unconscious as that is truly what it is like - you hear it all and cannot do a thing about it. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Thank you for your sweet commentary, Mystic Angel 7777 (if I left of a 7 would it be considered a misspell?) LOL, Thanks for stopping by again. I hope this will be for the long haul. There's some exciting stuff coming around the bend.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi..oh good back to the war. I mean...oh good he's not dead on this side...or is he even here and does it even matter....come on we need to make up lost ground...get a cart and let's go
padumachitta
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Hi..oh good back to the war. I mean...oh good he's not dead on this side...or is he even here and does it even matter....come on we need to make up lost ground...get a cart and let's go
padumachitta
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Thank you Padumachitta! Yep, he's got work to do. And, now that you know how far he'll go to get the job done, you know he won't shirk this one. I'm so glad to have you aboard.
Comment from Leigh Ann
Awesome, I still haven't had a chance to go back and read from the beginning, but so far the last two chapters I've read are superb. This is one of those stories that keep me on the edge of my seat wondering what will happen next. Great job.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Awesome, I still haven't had a chance to go back and read from the beginning, but so far the last two chapters I've read are superb. This is one of those stories that keep me on the edge of my seat wondering what will happen next. Great job.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Leigh Ann. I appreciate your kind comments. Hope you continue on with the fantasy adventure.
Comment from Writingfundimension
It's very hard to describe spiritual experiences in a way that a reader will appreciate. I think it's best to just go with one's imagination, which I think you've done very well here, Jay. Glad to see Doctrex is back to finish the job! My only suggestion would be to go through with an eye to trimming some of the longer sentences. Probably nothing more than just chopping them up a bit. Otherwise, a very strong opening!
:) Bev
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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It's very hard to describe spiritual experiences in a way that a reader will appreciate. I think it's best to just go with one's imagination, which I think you've done very well here, Jay. Glad to see Doctrex is back to finish the job! My only suggestion would be to go through with an eye to trimming some of the longer sentences. Probably nothing more than just chopping them up a bit. Otherwise, a very strong opening!
:) Bev
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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I'm wondering if you mean the longer sentences in the opening ramble, or later on?
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I was thinking in the opening section, Jay. Just a thought. You're the boss! :)
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And a good thought! I'll look it over after the post has gone to bed. I wanted a dreamlike, wispy quality to it, but that doesn't give me the latitude to be unclear. I thank you for bringing that up to me.
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I don't think it was unclear. It's just the brain gets a bit overloaded. From my perspective, breaking up a few of the sentences wouldn't change the flow all that much. Anyway, enough said LoL. :)
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Well, I have tremendous respect for you. And, I'll check it out.
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The feeling is mutual, Jay. :)
Comment from lindalcreel
Thanks so much for the authors notes. They really explained a lot about Doxtrex' state of mind. Perhaps this is all a dream, and Axtilla is just some imaginary person, but either way, he still has a mission to accomplish even if it's only in his mind.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much for the authors notes. They really explained a lot about Doxtrex' state of mind. Perhaps this is all a dream, and Axtilla is just some imaginary person, but either way, he still has a mission to accomplish even if it's only in his mind.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Linda, for the wonderful and blazing tribute. All your questions will be answered, I assure you, by the time Book III is completed.
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Excellent!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is hard to follow, just jumping into the story at this point. All the dimension-switching stuff is confusing, but then it is to Doctrex as well. Axtilla becomes someone else in diff dimensions? Anyway, I was just curious to see your style, and it's "heavy" for lack of a better word. I don't think my mind handles that degree of depth very well, and not just cuz I'm old. It never did, at any age. :)
I like how you pull the reader into the character thru his thoughts... loved the part where he can't open his eyes yet but hears everything. :)
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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This is hard to follow, just jumping into the story at this point. All the dimension-switching stuff is confusing, but then it is to Doctrex as well. Axtilla becomes someone else in diff dimensions? Anyway, I was just curious to see your style, and it's "heavy" for lack of a better word. I don't think my mind handles that degree of depth very well, and not just cuz I'm old. It never did, at any age. :)
I like how you pull the reader into the character thru his thoughts... loved the part where he can't open his eyes yet but hears everything. :)
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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Hi, Phyllis. Thanks for stopping by. The heavy stuff was kinda necessary in this chapter since he just killed himself, for cryin' out loud! LOL, but the mind stuff levels out some in the ensuing chapters. I could have sworn you read another of mine -- perhaps book II. Ah, well, hope this isn't a "dear John" letter!
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I've seen chapters of the last one, but frankly it's beyond my comprehension ability. At my age, I need simple stories. I did find what I read to be superbly done, but the names throw me... hard to remember. I don't handle fantasy well. I guess that's weird, considering what I've been writing, but I've never been very good at absorbing the written word. Can't even follow written directions. Someone has to SHOW me. Now, when your books become a movies series, I'll be first in line. That should be soon, right?
Seriously, I'll keep trying. Don't want to become senile yet. LOL! :)
Comment from Twilightspire
Yes! Now this is a way to start a book!
You picked it right up from the last point in Book 2 and charged like a freight train right into the story.
I absolutely loved the description of Doctrex's journey back. It was very visual and symbolic, which is very tricky to pull off without confusing your audience, but you did a magnificent job of keeping us right on course.
Everyone's worst fear realized, waking up in a coma state. Wonderful job with that bit.
Can't wait to read more, my friend. Such a strong beginning and it's only going to get better from here.
-T.J.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Yes! Now this is a way to start a book!
You picked it right up from the last point in Book 2 and charged like a freight train right into the story.
I absolutely loved the description of Doctrex's journey back. It was very visual and symbolic, which is very tricky to pull off without confusing your audience, but you did a magnificent job of keeping us right on course.
Everyone's worst fear realized, waking up in a coma state. Wonderful job with that bit.
Can't wait to read more, my friend. Such a strong beginning and it's only going to get better from here.
-T.J.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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T.J. you are SOOOO gracious with your kind words. Not to mention the chartreuse cross! I was afraid the spiritual part at the beginning would fall on deaf ears. I wanted people to kind of mentally squint as they read through it and not try too hard for understanding. Most just ignored any comment on it. I felt it was a necessary transition. Anyway, I'm really gratified you liked it.
Comment from royowen
A really well written episode Jay, first class you managed to catch the imaginary really well, you don't really have to explain this, because who can explain the ethereal if Christ raised Lazarus, who'd been dead three days, then that's your explanation! I like the supernatural dimension you've introduced! It was well composed! Well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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A really well written episode Jay, first class you managed to catch the imaginary really well, you don't really have to explain this, because who can explain the ethereal if Christ raised Lazarus, who'd been dead three days, then that's your explanation! I like the supernatural dimension you've introduced! It was well composed! Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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You don't know how pleased that makes me that you liked the supernatural beginning. I mean how can you handle the transition from dead to back to living? I know how some readers accepted that segment. They ignored it. And I can't say I blamed them. I wanted to tell people to read it quickly with the mind kind of squinted, and if they didn't understand it all, that was fine. I didn't understand it fully when I wrote it. Still don't. Thank you, Roy
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I'm so glad you're giving the inexplicable a whirl, I have experienced this strange dimension myself, and I can't explain it as well as you did! Well done, Roy.
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Well, you have my interest, Roy. You experienced it? I'm assuming it was a spirit-filled experience.
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It was more than that, before I knew God, but I did from then, my life was turned upside down, like you did so well in your episode, out of your control, I get lots of flashes even now, beautiful things I try to explain, but can't adequately, you'll see them in my writing sometimes!
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I believe I have already, Roy. God bless.
Jay
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Yeah!!
Doctrex is back! And not listening. Sounds right.
But, where is Axtilla? I wonder, will Viktor will be returning? Inquiring minds want --- neeed to know.
Great start up chapter of Book III.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Yeah!!
Doctrex is back! And not listening. Sounds right.
But, where is Axtilla? I wonder, will Viktor will be returning? Inquiring minds want --- neeed to know.
Great start up chapter of Book III.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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What did Doctrex need with a stinkin' hologram? Thanks for the wonderful sendoff, Jax. I was going to have him humming on the bridge, "We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, but I know we'll meet again, some sunny day." But it sounded too hokey! They'll get together. I promise you.
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This time she should be more than a hologram. Maybe half real - half robot or something.
Then Axtilla could sing 'Forever My Love'!
(*.*) Cheers..