Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Treischel,
"Ancient Trails" is an excellent trinet poem following the requirements of that form. It has good rhyme and a unconventional rhyme scheme consistently followed. It is written in excellent figurative language and imagery (fangs impale, brutal brawn) with good flow.
Preston

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014

Thank you Preston.

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

I really like how your short, clipped lines captured the gist of what is being said. 4th line- "old earth" will hopefully save you from a visit by the spag police for the present tense "preside". But really, as lizards and birds, they still do preside.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014

Thanks Ravenblack. They sure do, and fish, and alligators. Most reptiles.

Comment from Angel Debbie

Excellent

Way to go Grandpa, Great write and had fun too!
Loved the picture and the surprise of Author notes. Glad Grandson had fun. Thank You for sharing your dinosaur's with us.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014

Thank you Angel Debbie,. I've alway loved Dinosaurs. Glad to share.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Like this style a lot, Tom. My kids loved the dinosaurs, we took them to the London Museum when they were children, then every time we went out, they wanted a dinosaur to build. Little balsawood cut outs that they had to glue together. I enjoyed the poem, and the memories it brought back to me. :) xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014

Thank you Sandra. Glad to have inspired such nice memories.

Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER

Excellent

LOVED these bits:

Ancient trails
Lizard tails

Brutal brawn the 'b' alliteration
Callous cries the 'c' "

The following changes add more drama:
Threats will arise when PREY surprised Suggestion only
OverCOME by PAIR OF RAPTOR'S undersized " "
MOBSTERS prevail " "
CARNIVORS assail " "
FANGS impale " "

Love the conclusion:
On display
We view this bygone hunt tableau
To imagine events from long ago
People saw
Dropped jaw
Total awe

Regards:

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 Comment Written 12-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014

Thanks Stephen. Good suggestions.

reply by STEPHEN A CARTER on 12-Apr-2014

Dear Tom: Always glad to help. Just posted 2 new poems. Thanks.

Cheers: Steve

Comment from akulkumol

Excellent

Beautiful poem to describe the ancient giants. Specially good for children. I am really glued to it while reading. Nicely pictured gives clear picture of the giants in today's scenario. Loved reading it and thanks for sharing.

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 Comment Written 12-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014

Thank you akulkumol