All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "She Turns the Page"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
124 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
I not only found thisto be a delightful poem to read
I found it kept my attention from the first kline to the last for your words were filled with lifes experinces of mixed emotions from birth to death.
thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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I not only found thisto be a delightful poem to read
I found it kept my attention from the first kline to the last for your words were filled with lifes experinces of mixed emotions from birth to death.
thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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thx so much misscookie! :)Sharyn
Comment from Lulube
I love the message of this poem as it has hit me in the time of my life where your words mean the most. Aging, myself now aware of my years and the few years left for my parents. Yes, time can just turn another page,whereas we turn our very last page. Each verse had 2 rhymes that came easily into the reading of your poem.
Good job and well thought out.
Lulube
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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I love the message of this poem as it has hit me in the time of my life where your words mean the most. Aging, myself now aware of my years and the few years left for my parents. Yes, time can just turn another page,whereas we turn our very last page. Each verse had 2 rhymes that came easily into the reading of your poem.
Good job and well thought out.
Lulube
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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thank you so much Lulube! :))Sharyn
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welcome
Lulube
Comment from Enrique28
Wonderful stuff! Time does not stop for anybody, it is a relentless passing superbly depicted in this fine verse. It reads beautifully with great poetic sounds. Superbly presented! Enrique
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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Wonderful stuff! Time does not stop for anybody, it is a relentless passing superbly depicted in this fine verse. It reads beautifully with great poetic sounds. Superbly presented! Enrique
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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Enrique, you've made my night with your fabulous SIX! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
:)Sharyn
Comment from mizzkris20
First off your sonnet is AWESOME! the meter is perfect and it flows smoothly. I suck with meter but reading your poem makes me see the importance of it. I wish you well in the contest
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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First off your sonnet is AWESOME! the meter is perfect and it flows smoothly. I suck with meter but reading your poem makes me see the importance of it. I wish you well in the contest
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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And bless you for reading! I was happy with this one - sonnets are THE most difficult thing to write, I think - for me, anyway. Hard to find a subject "lofty" enough to sustain them sometimes. So glad you enjoyed this one! :)Sharyn
Comment from TonyD
Emotions come unbidden as I read the story of the circle of life. I am the old one now and my children see me and my wife growing old. Soon Mistress Time will turn the page on us only to start over for those who follow.
Kind regards.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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Emotions come unbidden as I read the story of the circle of life. I am the old one now and my children see me and my wife growing old. Soon Mistress Time will turn the page on us only to start over for those who follow.
Kind regards.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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thx so much Tony - yes, it is a circle and I'm not so sure I like coming back to the 12! :)
Comment from Titanx9
It sounds cruel, but a realistic look and there's no denying that we are as blades of grass that wilt under a blazing sun to be no more - that is unless matter is out of the equation. We will turn into something; it's just a matter of perspective. I enjoyed this wide-ranging poem - from birth to old age. I wish you good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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It sounds cruel, but a realistic look and there's no denying that we are as blades of grass that wilt under a blazing sun to be no more - that is unless matter is out of the equation. We will turn into something; it's just a matter of perspective. I enjoyed this wide-ranging poem - from birth to old age. I wish you good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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thx so much Dossie! :)S
Comment from janalma
Lovely rhyming. Poem reads smoothly and flows. The message is thoughtful and oh, so true. We are so full of youth, we think we'll never be old and then when it happens, it's hard to believe where the time went. Good, unforced wording. Liked it very much.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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Lovely rhyming. Poem reads smoothly and flows. The message is thoughtful and oh, so true. We are so full of youth, we think we'll never be old and then when it happens, it's hard to believe where the time went. Good, unforced wording. Liked it very much.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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thank you so mcuh jan! :)Sharyn
Comment from dmt1967
I like the old style way this poem is written Shakespeare couldn't do better himself I hope you do well in the contest and thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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I like the old style way this poem is written Shakespeare couldn't do better himself I hope you do well in the contest and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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thx so much dmt - I like a Shakespearean sonnet to really BE a Shakespearean sonnet. His language was always so beautiful! Hopefully he'd be happy with me! :)Sharyn
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Beautiful imagery in this and I admire your skill with meter which is so hard for me. Reading well done poems such as this has helped me some. Great commentary and good luck in the contest, Sharyn~Debbie
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Beautiful imagery in this and I admire your skill with meter which is so hard for me. Reading well done poems such as this has helped me some. Great commentary and good luck in the contest, Sharyn~Debbie
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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oh bless you Debbie - I'm so glad you enjoyed this one - for some reason I just got a sonnet bug one day ... I guess I have a few people wrestling with death around me at the moment ... my subconscious must have been processing overtime! :)Sharyn
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
"Time has no master, no death doth it fear,
Its passing marked upon a calendar."
Just a ditty that your poem inspired me to write. Perhaps the 'The wild of sky..' would be better served with 'A wilding sky...'(a wilding is when a group of thugs go out to assault innocent people as sport). As to the meter and the ABab, you do justice. Mistress Time..not Father Time..do I 'tongue in cheek' detect sexism? Perhaps instead of 'with glass of life now full' perhaps..'babes; Our glass of life is full..Of...night.' I always after 45 years of writing poetry..read aloud the work..if the tongue stumbles, the flow broken..rewrite. A very good effort.
Regards:
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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"Time has no master, no death doth it fear,
Its passing marked upon a calendar."
Just a ditty that your poem inspired me to write. Perhaps the 'The wild of sky..' would be better served with 'A wilding sky...'(a wilding is when a group of thugs go out to assault innocent people as sport). As to the meter and the ABab, you do justice. Mistress Time..not Father Time..do I 'tongue in cheek' detect sexism? Perhaps instead of 'with glass of life now full' perhaps..'babes; Our glass of life is full..Of...night.' I always after 45 years of writing poetry..read aloud the work..if the tongue stumbles, the flow broken..rewrite. A very good effort.
Regards:
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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thx so much Stephen!!! So - you are one of the few to catch "Mistress" Time - good for you! I'll take a peek at the other lines ... :)S
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hmm, I liked the sense of your suggestion but that gives two lines, one after the other, broken by a semi-colon - what do you think of simply using a period after "babes" and starting a new "sentence" so to speak?
We birth our babes. Our glass of life is full
of days etc ...
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Sounds better when you read aloud and therefore 'FEEL' it . Good suggestion..try it.
Regards:
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I always read my pieces aloud Stephen - I'm a performer, so always write from that perspective.