All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "We, the Peaceful Watchers"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
87 total reviews
Comment from mauial
Being a surfer myself I can identify with the discription of what it is like to paddle out to the lineup and wait for and take of on a wave. The feeling is addictive and when I was younger I would spend all day in the water. But lately because of back issues and age, I am more a peaceful watcher instead of getting into the thick of things:(
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Being a surfer myself I can identify with the discription of what it is like to paddle out to the lineup and wait for and take of on a wave. The feeling is addictive and when I was younger I would spend all day in the water. But lately because of back issues and age, I am more a peaceful watcher instead of getting into the thick of things:(
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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thx Al! glad you could identify with ... and at least be a peaceful watcher my dear! :) Sharyn
Comment from Bobbi22
This is an amazing account of watching the surfers enjoy the perfect ride. Great imagery that makes the reader feel the surf. Very well written.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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This is an amazing account of watching the surfers enjoy the perfect ride. Great imagery that makes the reader feel the surf. Very well written.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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And thank you again RP!
Comment from mermaids
I like the feeling of freedom and being young, just living to surf in the ocean. As hills of aqua water build and crest is my favorite line. You capture the look and feel of the ocean,love the pic.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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I like the feeling of freedom and being young, just living to surf in the ocean. As hills of aqua water build and crest is my favorite line. You capture the look and feel of the ocean,love the pic.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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thx so much mermaids - you should be right at home there, yes!?
Comment from kashmayank
I particularly liked the last line most ofm living this way ,anyway nice work done good thoughts and well implemented all the best
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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I particularly liked the last line most ofm living this way ,anyway nice work done good thoughts and well implemented all the best
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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thx kasha!
Comment from gudbjorg
The event came alive to me as I read your poem, and it had a good flow and rythm and I enjoyed it to the core and I say as yourself, I like it.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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The event came alive to me as I read your poem, and it had a good flow and rythm and I enjoyed it to the core and I say as yourself, I like it.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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thank you Sara!
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You're welcome!
Comment from rushingwater
I love the images you created in this piece and the closing couplet makes the reader delve a bit deeper inside giving the poem yet another thought to think about. Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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I love the images you created in this piece and the closing couplet makes the reader delve a bit deeper inside giving the poem yet another thought to think about. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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thx so much rw!
Comment from kiwisteveh
Sharyn, this is a powerful piece which should do well in the free verse contest. Whay impresses me most is the structure. You build through the description of the young surfers, of the mighty waves that they dare to ride and then the action of that ride.
In the end though, all of that is just an example - what is important is their attitude of challenging the wave and living life to the fullest.
And then, of course, is your little two-line postscript where that attitude is put into practical carpe diem effect.
I could mention the alliteration and the imagery and the obvious technical skill, but I'm sure you know all about that.
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Sharyn, this is a powerful piece which should do well in the free verse contest. Whay impresses me most is the structure. You build through the description of the young surfers, of the mighty waves that they dare to ride and then the action of that ride.
In the end though, all of that is just an example - what is important is their attitude of challenging the wave and living life to the fullest.
And then, of course, is your little two-line postscript where that attitude is put into practical carpe diem effect.
I could mention the alliteration and the imagery and the obvious technical skill, but I'm sure you know all about that.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Steve, you're an angel! Thank you so much for the magic sixer on this one - I really enjoyed writing it! And thank you for your thorough read, too! :) Sharyn
Comment from Glasstruth
The sound of this free surfing iambic pentameter just flows as those waves do, and paints such a vivid picture that's filled with excitement and joy. Love that alliteration in several of your lines. For example: "So, fluid ... flying - slide and skim to shore With spirits lifted up to brilliant sky" Superb! Les
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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The sound of this free surfing iambic pentameter just flows as those waves do, and paints such a vivid picture that's filled with excitement and joy. Love that alliteration in several of your lines. For example: "So, fluid ... flying - slide and skim to shore With spirits lifted up to brilliant sky" Superb! Les
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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hey there you are!! thx so much Les and a SPECIAL THANK YOU FOR THE SIXER ... wow!!! love it!! Now I can go to dinner with a smile on my dial my friend.
Blessings,
Sharyn
ps: seriously though, I love it when someone loves a poem I've loved writing! if you get my drift ...
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I got your drift. You welcome Les
Comment from jjstar
Oh, absolutely stupendous! I loved this, and boy has it given me food for thought. The next few chapters of my book take place on Maui, and I've been trying to figure something else to talk about besides ocean, boat and surfing.
The peaceful watchers..superb!
And the form was perfect!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Oh, absolutely stupendous! I loved this, and boy has it given me food for thought. The next few chapters of my book take place on Maui, and I've been trying to figure something else to talk about besides ocean, boat and surfing.
The peaceful watchers..superb!
And the form was perfect!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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yeah!! thx so much jj! :) Sharyn
Comment from l.raven
Hi Sharyn, I have got to come and visit you. WOW!!! I could sit on the beach and watch surfers all day. LOL And Night!! LOL Very well expressed I could smell the water from here. Very well written. Linda xxoo hugs
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Hi Sharyn, I have got to come and visit you. WOW!!! I could sit on the beach and watch surfers all day. LOL And Night!! LOL Very well expressed I could smell the water from here. Very well written. Linda xxoo hugs
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much Linda - any time dear!! you know where we are! :)