Blue Child
A child that wasn't33 total reviews
Comment from The Stranger
well this is very close to my heart as my parents lost a daughter at birth way back in the 1950's but they would never have forgot her for a single day
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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well this is very close to my heart as my parents lost a daughter at birth way back in the 1950's but they would never have forgot her for a single day
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Your parents have a daughter waiting for them in heaven. This is my truest belief. Best wishes.
Comment from missy98writer
Poet,
Your poem is very well written and rich in poetic imagery painting a picture in the readers head. Great descriptive writing with sad narrative and very good rhythm. The lines that stood out for me: "In those deep days Of passion and luck. The stars' constellation Never once was precise For his body to emerge He remained above Among the selfish stars." What poignant free verse about the loss of a child. You brought tears to my eyes. You will be getting my vote for this excellent free verse written with the heart. I wish you good luck in the writing prompt contest. Thanks for sharing and have a blessed day.
Missy.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Poet,
Your poem is very well written and rich in poetic imagery painting a picture in the readers head. Great descriptive writing with sad narrative and very good rhythm. The lines that stood out for me: "In those deep days Of passion and luck. The stars' constellation Never once was precise For his body to emerge He remained above Among the selfish stars." What poignant free verse about the loss of a child. You brought tears to my eyes. You will be getting my vote for this excellent free verse written with the heart. I wish you good luck in the writing prompt contest. Thanks for sharing and have a blessed day.
Missy.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you Missy, always such a faithful reviewer of my work.
Comment from Fireshadow
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This is a stunning poem and entry for the The Life He Almost Lived writing prompt contest. I'm sure it will be the top contender in the competition. The poignant yearning and the love for this unborn child is very touching. A well crafted piece to tribute and honor him. Thank you for sharing this excellent work, and good luck in the contest, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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This is a stunning poem and entry for the The Life He Almost Lived writing prompt contest. I'm sure it will be the top contender in the competition. The poignant yearning and the love for this unborn child is very touching. A well crafted piece to tribute and honor him. Thank you for sharing this excellent work, and good luck in the contest, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much Ama, such a faithful friend and reviewer.
Comment from pickthorn
A sad lament from a would be mother that yearns for the child that was never to be. How painful it must be to relive the past and think of the child that was never born and lives only in a world of make believe.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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A sad lament from a would be mother that yearns for the child that was never to be. How painful it must be to relive the past and think of the child that was never born and lives only in a world of make believe.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much for the read and great interpretation to this work.
Comment from Linda England Bonam
This told an amazing story of something you wished for in life and did not receive. Very touching story and it was well written and well received. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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This told an amazing story of something you wished for in life and did not receive. Very touching story and it was well written and well received. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you Linda for reading my work.
Comment from RYME4U
This is excellent. A longing dream that becomes so realthat you can see it. The description s are so vivid and the free verse runs smoothly. Good job!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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This is excellent. A longing dream that becomes so realthat you can see it. The description s are so vivid and the free verse runs smoothly. Good job!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much for connecting with my work here.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Your poem is very evocative - recalling all the unfulfilled dreams we ever had.
I am puzzled by a couple of things 'deep days of passion and lush'. 'lush' as an adjective seems out of place here - I can't decide what it's describing.
The last few lines are also confusing, especially 'because not because'
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Your poem is very evocative - recalling all the unfulfilled dreams we ever had.
I am puzzled by a couple of things 'deep days of passion and lush'. 'lush' as an adjective seems out of place here - I can't decide what it's describing.
The last few lines are also confusing, especially 'because not because'
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you kiwisteveh for the great mention of "lush." I'm looking for the right word now.
Comment from paperback writer
A poignant piece of writing. Just the last verse shouldn't it be just because I never had him doesn't mean I don't miss him. Don't know if that is what you are wanting to say but it makes more sense to me. I like the poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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A poignant piece of writing. Just the last verse shouldn't it be just because I never had him doesn't mean I don't miss him. Don't know if that is what you are wanting to say but it makes more sense to me. I like the poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you paperback writer, for reading my work and for the best wishes.
Comment from regina10810
I know where you're coming from. It's difficult for a woman to understand why she feels that way, when she doesn't at all. I guess it's god's way of telling us, we have done our part, and he's maybe letting us off lightly with feelings of warmth other than pain.
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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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I know where you're coming from. It's difficult for a woman to understand why she feels that way, when she doesn't at all. I guess it's god's way of telling us, we have done our part, and he's maybe letting us off lightly with feelings of warmth other than pain.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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This is a very insightful review, yes, there is much warmth, no pain at this time. I wonder about the three stars...
Comment from Minglement
When I read this prompt, I wondered how one would handle this subject. You did it magnificently. Lovely, sad and toughing. Well done. Good luck in the contest. Can't imageine a better entry. :) Marcia
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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When I read this prompt, I wondered how one would handle this subject. You did it magnificently. Lovely, sad and toughing. Well done. Good luck in the contest. Can't imageine a better entry. :) Marcia
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you Marcia. I wrote this a long time ago, somehow today I had the call to let it go.
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Whatever works. We never know where inspiration (to write or to release) comes from. :) Well done, very moving. Marcia
