Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Devils Seed"memiors from my life experiences.
116 total reviews
Comment from Sefiros
Rhyming is always hard for me, so bravo for you. You chose a simple two-line structure in which both lines rhyme. Very good. Hooked me from the beginning and never let go. Good luck in future writing.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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Rhyming is always hard for me, so bravo for you. You chose a simple two-line structure in which both lines rhyme. Very good. Hooked me from the beginning and never let go. Good luck in future writing.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from mik4L
I liked the first four lines, and then I read to the last line, This is so true about pain and temptation. It's almost like we want to hurt ourselves more, so we give in.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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I liked the first four lines, and then I read to the last line, This is so true about pain and temptation. It's almost like we want to hurt ourselves more, so we give in.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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thank you
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You are most welcome.
Comment from Aislinge
Well done! This piece reads well, with a smooth meter. The rhyme adds a nice lilt to the piece. Words chosen create an atmosphere of temptation, appropriate for the theme. Powerful words indeed!
Thank you for a great read!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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Well done! This piece reads well, with a smooth meter. The rhyme adds a nice lilt to the piece. Words chosen create an atmosphere of temptation, appropriate for the theme. Powerful words indeed!
Thank you for a great read!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Demonbunny
The colors and picture fit well with the piece, they draw you in until the words fall around you. Sweeping you up and showing you the bitter truth you would even try to hide from yourself. These are the arms of a carnival hawker with a big fake smile showing you his wares, catching you off-guard. Recongnized, and deserves to be. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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The colors and picture fit well with the piece, they draw you in until the words fall around you. Sweeping you up and showing you the bitter truth you would even try to hide from yourself. These are the arms of a carnival hawker with a big fake smile showing you his wares, catching you off-guard. Recongnized, and deserves to be. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Maria C.
Wow,this is so well written. It has such good rhyme and rhythm. I don't have a favorite line as each couplet is so
good. Love the picture and presentation as well.
MariaC.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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Wow,this is so well written. It has such good rhyme and rhythm. I don't have a favorite line as each couplet is so
good. Love the picture and presentation as well.
MariaC.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Dustman6180
Nice job painting a picture with your words. We've all submitted to temptation,just not all have submitted to the same temptation. Thanks for sharing.
Dustman
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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Nice job painting a picture with your words. We've all submitted to temptation,just not all have submitted to the same temptation. Thanks for sharing.
Dustman
Comment Written 20-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from godlucifer
(observe) is the devil's occurrence,destiny is his to conquer,and if he were to commend than the bible absentee what was written. i like your poem it is fill with coincidence and sanitation,it really bring the memory back to the human state of mind. i admire reading about the devil's conciliation, godlucifer!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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(observe) is the devil's occurrence,destiny is his to conquer,and if he were to commend than the bible absentee what was written. i like your poem it is fill with coincidence and sanitation,it really bring the memory back to the human state of mind. i admire reading about the devil's conciliation, godlucifer!
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Thank you
Comment from hfriscia
This is good piece of writing...The words you use helps the poem...The format works well with the piece and the rthyming scheme is clear, and understandable...
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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This is good piece of writing...The words you use helps the poem...The format works well with the piece and the rthyming scheme is clear, and understandable...
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Freeflyer
There is a bit of temptation in everything and the devil in some of us can't resist.
The flow, rhyming and rhythm were great and it was a joy to read.
Thanks for sharing.
Freeflyer
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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There is a bit of temptation in everything and the devil in some of us can't resist.
The flow, rhyming and rhythm were great and it was a joy to read.
Thanks for sharing.
Freeflyer
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Jenn Starr
Cool poem- using pain as an excuse to forego moral responsibility, I know what that's like! I've been quite a deviant! But not anymore ;) (well almost lol ;D ) take care
JennStarr*
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Cool poem- using pain as an excuse to forego moral responsibility, I know what that's like! I've been quite a deviant! But not anymore ;) (well almost lol ;D ) take care
JennStarr*
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thanks for the review and the starrs