Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Sending You My Love."memiors from my life experiences.
42 total reviews
Comment from Lois Delaney
I love these types of poetry with repetitive lines. They are a challenge, and can drive you nuts if your brain doesn't cooperate. Yours obviously didn't not go into a rebellious state.
Very well done. Enjoyed reading one of these once again.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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I love these types of poetry with repetitive lines. They are a challenge, and can drive you nuts if your brain doesn't cooperate. Yours obviously didn't not go into a rebellious state.
Very well done. Enjoyed reading one of these once again.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Jenn Starr
wow, im impressed by your knowledge of formal poetry- I myself, am spoiled and though I've learned the formalities,I don't follow them- this is really wonderful- thank you so much for sharing! I'll be posting something new soon, I've been crazy busy- I am writing a little thing about my hearing loss that I'll probably post soon-
Have a beautiful weekend!
JennStarr*
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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wow, im impressed by your knowledge of formal poetry- I myself, am spoiled and though I've learned the formalities,I don't follow them- this is really wonderful- thank you so much for sharing! I'll be posting something new soon, I've been crazy busy- I am writing a little thing about my hearing loss that I'll probably post soon-
Have a beautiful weekend!
JennStarr*
Comment Written 11-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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Thanks for the review sorry bout your hearing loss. Is it real bad?
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Yea, It's bad- I'm pretty much deaf- the really lane thing is I was a professional musician and I'm a single mom! But I've learned to adapt amazingly well! Is crazy how well we can adapt to things! I just couldn't go the other way which was letting it defeat me so... I dealt with it- and didn't shy away from continuing my life- it's tough, very very tough- but I'm dealing ;) the Internet is a wonderful relief because it enables me to have conversation with people, something I can't really do much of anymore otherwise- it's been wonderful- ;)- hopefully I'll post that short soon and it'll have all the info- pretty weird and scary the story of how I lost it- take care
Jenn*
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will thats probably what makes your poetry so beautiful. You know I looke at the ratings today and we are next to each other crazy hu out of all the poets we end up next to each other
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;) that's cool ;) you'll probably jump up past me though- I haven't posted anything new so I'm no progressing in the ranks- I'm trying to save up enough member dollars and member cent pumps to get my work in the top 10 so I can get a bigger response- it's taking me awhile though
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I'm writing a story that I hope to add to my book so I should slow down some.
Comment from R. K. Alan
A very well crafted villanelle. I loved the word choices, the cadence and rhythm of the piece. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. Ray aka Krylon
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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A very well crafted villanelle. I loved the word choices, the cadence and rhythm of the piece. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. Ray aka Krylon
Comment Written 11-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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thanks krylon
Comment from RKagan
This is a lovely poem that speaks of true love. The line about not making your loved one jealous or sending them into a rage speaks of a real love. It reads very smoothly. good job.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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This is a lovely poem that speaks of true love. The line about not making your loved one jealous or sending them into a rage speaks of a real love. It reads very smoothly. good job.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from InterestingRon
I haven't been with FanStory that long and until recently would not have had a clue what a villanelle poem was. Thanks to your extremely useful author's notes I was able to appreciate your beautifully composed poem. Thanks for a lesson in the art of writing. Ron
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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I haven't been with FanStory that long and until recently would not have had a clue what a villanelle poem was. Thanks to your extremely useful author's notes I was able to appreciate your beautifully composed poem. Thanks for a lesson in the art of writing. Ron
Comment Written 11-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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your welome and thanks
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Keimosobie ...
I have read this with interest in your chosen format and I like the thought you have developed about sending forth your expression of love which originated on a page of writing.
There are two changes to recommend ...
* You use the word - shove. As I see it, that seems so out of place in poetic writing and suggest you may use 'push.'
* You have - I am giving it for free .... oh dear!
This is a terrible and most ungrammatical expression which is widely used these days. Things can be given free of charge or for nothing or they can simply be free but never 'for free'
In this case, you could have - I am giving it to you free.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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Hullo Keimosobie ...
I have read this with interest in your chosen format and I like the thought you have developed about sending forth your expression of love which originated on a page of writing.
There are two changes to recommend ...
* You use the word - shove. As I see it, that seems so out of place in poetic writing and suggest you may use 'push.'
* You have - I am giving it for free .... oh dear!
This is a terrible and most ungrammatical expression which is widely used these days. Things can be given free of charge or for nothing or they can simply be free but never 'for free'
In this case, you could have - I am giving it to you free.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from irsajay
"I send my soul to soar lifting off this page
A gift that was opened on this perfect stage."
Tonight, your message is a true gift for all of us, given on this perfect stage. A gift that should be cherished by all of us.
Poem is with a very nice form and flow.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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"I send my soul to soar lifting off this page
A gift that was opened on this perfect stage."
Tonight, your message is a true gift for all of us, given on this perfect stage. A gift that should be cherished by all of us.
Poem is with a very nice form and flow.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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thank you
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You're welcome.
Comment from rudywalsh
A nicely written Villanelle poem, you can always find out how these poems sound best when reading them out loud, a villanelle poem should sound almost musical to the ear as your poem does, a fine write well thought-out with a wonderful flow.
It's not my type of poetry but I do understand it's structure to which you have executed very well.
Sending you my love, very poetic and captivating.
Well done and all the best to you...Rudy
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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A nicely written Villanelle poem, you can always find out how these poems sound best when reading them out loud, a villanelle poem should sound almost musical to the ear as your poem does, a fine write well thought-out with a wonderful flow.
It's not my type of poetry but I do understand it's structure to which you have executed very well.
Sending you my love, very poetic and captivating.
Well done and all the best to you...Rudy
Comment Written 11-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
What a sweetl loving and giving villanelle! Beautifully written with perfect rhythm and flow. A very unique 'gift of love' Your soul! Best of luck in the contest. This is wonderful. Betty
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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What a sweetl loving and giving villanelle! Beautifully written with perfect rhythm and flow. A very unique 'gift of love' Your soul! Best of luck in the contest. This is wonderful. Betty
Comment Written 11-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from anabelle
Lovely poem. The love floats off the page and reaches the loved one. A very interesting thought, and it makes me wonder if it works, sort of like feeling it when someone is thinking of you.
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2010
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Lovely poem. The love floats off the page and reaches the loved one. A very interesting thought, and it makes me wonder if it works, sort of like feeling it when someone is thinking of you.
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 10-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2010
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I hope it works. thanks for the review Tim
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You're welcome.