Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Chapter 8; part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
56 total reviews
Comment from ladybird
Hope Leya makes it. I didn't realise yellow fever was such a life threatening disease. A well written chapter. You have shown the concern Steven feels for her.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Hope Leya makes it. I didn't realise yellow fever was such a life threatening disease. A well written chapter. You have shown the concern Steven feels for her.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Yes yellow fever can be life threatening. Thank you for your review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from laurelp
Excellent chapter. I wasn't expecting this at all. Very well written, it seemed real in the dialogue and descriptions. Very well done.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Excellent chapter. I wasn't expecting this at all. Very well written, it seemed real in the dialogue and descriptions. Very well done.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from ZigzagMLT
A good chapter. Short and sweet, but we find out that Steve actually does have feelings.
Found one thing: justify the fact that he had seen her naked.
Thanks for an entertaining read. I am looking forward to the next installment.
Zigzagmlt
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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A good chapter. Short and sweet, but we find out that Steve actually does have feelings.
Found one thing: justify the fact that he had seen her naked.
Thanks for an entertaining read. I am looking forward to the next installment.
Zigzagmlt
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your review. I will take a look at that section.
Comment from anabelle
Good chapter. I enjoyed the beginning part where they're still fighting their feelings for each other, then the end, where everyone but themselves have accepted that they're in love.
Thanks for the lovely read.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Good chapter. I enjoyed the beginning part where they're still fighting their feelings for each other, then the end, where everyone but themselves have accepted that they're in love.
Thanks for the lovely read.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
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You're welcome. :-)
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I like that internal arguements Steven has with himself whan he talks to Leya. Very effective technique to show
internal conflict.
The story is developing well and the couple do seem to be slowly getting closer.
Juliette
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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I like that internal arguements Steven has with himself whan he talks to Leya. Very effective technique to show
internal conflict.
The story is developing well and the couple do seem to be slowly getting closer.
Juliette
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your reveiw.
Comment from Belinda
There seems to be a tug of war between Steven's ratio and emotion. Later, Leya's worse condition makes him even more close to her. You describe this change well.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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There seems to be a tug of war between Steven's ratio and emotion. Later, Leya's worse condition makes him even more close to her. You describe this change well.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from wierdgrace
I love this character Leya, and the yellow fever, bless her heart, you described her illness and feelings with emotions that I felt and understood, I always love reading your writing, you are surely a teacher. thank you.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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I love this character Leya, and the yellow fever, bless her heart, you described her illness and feelings with emotions that I felt and understood, I always love reading your writing, you are surely a teacher. thank you.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from RazberryBullet
Don't know much about yellow fever, but it looks like it's bad juju :(
Famous last thoughts: ...(Get out of this room or you'll fall for her charm.) "I'll be here as long as you want me to stay." :)
Well done!
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Don't know much about yellow fever, but it looks like it's bad juju :(
Famous last thoughts: ...(Get out of this room or you'll fall for her charm.) "I'll be here as long as you want me to stay." :)
Well done!
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from tammipratt
One of the things I'm accutely aware of after reviews on my work is the placement of character's perception, or the good old point of view. Because you story had a mix of characters, I was watching closely :)
I picked this up - I thought from Steven's POV, he may not have known she opened the door but would have rather heard her call only from the room:
Late Sunday evening, Leya opened the door to her room and yelled, "Steven! STEVEN!"
Otherwise, I thought it was great!
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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One of the things I'm accutely aware of after reviews on my work is the placement of character's perception, or the good old point of view. Because you story had a mix of characters, I was watching closely :)
I picked this up - I thought from Steven's POV, he may not have known she opened the door but would have rather heard her call only from the room:
Late Sunday evening, Leya opened the door to her room and yelled, "Steven! STEVEN!"
Otherwise, I thought it was great!
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Thank you. I will take a look. I hate POV. I am always getting gigged for it.
Comment from HAWordsmith
Good chapter...I like the interplay between the two and watching as their tentative relationship grows. I only hope Leya pulls through. Thank you for this posting.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Good chapter...I like the interplay between the two and watching as their tentative relationship grows. I only hope Leya pulls through. Thank you for this posting.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.