CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Free Will"A collection of poetry
63 total reviews
Comment from tammipratt
Great work at this form of poetry. I think you've done a very good job.
Good analogy here and I thought your conveyed your message well as a result.
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Great work at this form of poetry. I think you've done a very good job.
Good analogy here and I thought your conveyed your message well as a result.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2009
Comment from palsuresh
This is a very nice poem with a good rhyming sequence.
Free will, if used wisely, becomes a gift, lest it becomes a curse. This is just my opinion.
Good luck in the contest.
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This is a very nice poem with a good rhyming sequence.
Free will, if used wisely, becomes a gift, lest it becomes a curse. This is just my opinion.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2009
Comment from JoAnna Lee
Wonderfully done, Sue.
I've been thinking a lot about free will this past 24 hours. A dear friend of mine has just died of cancer... peacefully, at home. For days now, we have been on pins and needles, knowing he could go at any minute. His companion had told him that the minister was coming Monday afternoon and all weekend she kept saying to me that he was waiting for her to come. (He had lost the ability to talk with us.) The minister came and blessed him and then we left the room to talk with her about his funeral arrangements. I fielded a phone call, tell the caller it was not a good time... and then headed to the bathroom and decided to peek in on him. I was shocked to find he had died. It was less than five minutes!!! He hadn't moaned or coughed or anything... just quietly and peacefully left us. What amazing display of strength and free will... to fight off death... waiting for the minister. I'm in absolute AWE!!! (and still in a bit of shock...)
Sorry I rambled... just needed to share...
Wonderful poem!!!
Love and hugs,
Donna
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2009
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Wonderfully done, Sue.
I've been thinking a lot about free will this past 24 hours. A dear friend of mine has just died of cancer... peacefully, at home. For days now, we have been on pins and needles, knowing he could go at any minute. His companion had told him that the minister was coming Monday afternoon and all weekend she kept saying to me that he was waiting for her to come. (He had lost the ability to talk with us.) The minister came and blessed him and then we left the room to talk with her about his funeral arrangements. I fielded a phone call, tell the caller it was not a good time... and then headed to the bathroom and decided to peek in on him. I was shocked to find he had died. It was less than five minutes!!! He hadn't moaned or coughed or anything... just quietly and peacefully left us. What amazing display of strength and free will... to fight off death... waiting for the minister. I'm in absolute AWE!!! (and still in a bit of shock...)
Sorry I rambled... just needed to share...
Wonderful poem!!!
Love and hugs,
Donna
Comment Written 07-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2009
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Donna, I'm glad you rambled! Great anecdote of free will. We hear these types of stories so much and they are true. And here you had witnessed it. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story. And for your great review. Sue :-)
Comment from Pen&Ink
Hi Sixteezkid,
Liked your poem. Every once in a while I need to be reminded that I have choices, free will as you put it. I tend to get into ruts, as do many of us I'm sure. Thanks for sharing this one will us. Ray
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Hi Sixteezkid,
Liked your poem. Every once in a while I need to be reminded that I have choices, free will as you put it. I tend to get into ruts, as do many of us I'm sure. Thanks for sharing this one will us. Ray
Comment Written 07-Apr-2009
Comment from Ringstorm
Sixteezkid --
You nailed the format of a triolet down. I read your note about the exclamation point, but I don't think you need it. Since the line is repeated three times, an exclamation point seems superfluous. But that is a small nit to be sure.
Most of us in this country are lucky enough to take advantage of the opportunities out there for us and even to make our own. I somewhat disagree for those who grow up in a repressive and unenlightened culture and/or government. For many of them, the thought of having free will is outrageous and seen as dangerous. Don't get me wrong, I understand what you said and I laud free will as well. Your poem is cheering; however, for some it is not so easy to choose.
Tim
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2009
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Sixteezkid --
You nailed the format of a triolet down. I read your note about the exclamation point, but I don't think you need it. Since the line is repeated three times, an exclamation point seems superfluous. But that is a small nit to be sure.
Most of us in this country are lucky enough to take advantage of the opportunities out there for us and even to make our own. I somewhat disagree for those who grow up in a repressive and unenlightened culture and/or government. For many of them, the thought of having free will is outrageous and seen as dangerous. Don't get me wrong, I understand what you said and I laud free will as well. Your poem is cheering; however, for some it is not so easy to choose.
Tim
Comment Written 07-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2009
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I agree totally. I mentioned to an earlier reviewer that because we are born with free will, it is living proof that humans require to live in a free society. There can be no other argument. That's all anyone needs to say when arguing why freedom is essential. Your point is very valid and true. Thank you for your very kind review. Sue
Comment from Carol D Parker
You say it well in this poem. It's like breaking free. "With talents to freely display?" It's exciting. You remind the reader what it is. Your words are perfect and I Love the rhyme scheme that you followed for Triolet. Great job.
Delora
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You say it well in this poem. It's like breaking free. "With talents to freely display?" It's exciting. You remind the reader what it is. Your words are perfect and I Love the rhyme scheme that you followed for Triolet. Great job.
Delora
Comment Written 07-Apr-2009
Comment from Stephen C Winter (Vs
Dear Sixteezkid,
I really enjoyed Free Will, it is a well writen and unquie piece that of holds so much thruth....it rather took me back to my school days
I was always a strong headed child, I would always get my self in trouble at school in the 1960s, I remeber arguing with my Religious Education teacher "that's cant be right", and "that's simple wrong" I was 14 and always getting sent to the headmaster, my explanation was that I had been given free will to make my own choices and come to my own conclusion ....It went down like a lead balloon (lol).
A most thought provoaking piece.
Kind regards
Steve
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2009
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Dear Sixteezkid,
I really enjoyed Free Will, it is a well writen and unquie piece that of holds so much thruth....it rather took me back to my school days
I was always a strong headed child, I would always get my self in trouble at school in the 1960s, I remeber arguing with my Religious Education teacher "that's cant be right", and "that's simple wrong" I was 14 and always getting sent to the headmaster, my explanation was that I had been given free will to make my own choices and come to my own conclusion ....It went down like a lead balloon (lol).
A most thought provoaking piece.
Kind regards
Steve
Comment Written 07-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2009
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Well, did your "strong-headedness" serve you well since then?!! HA! Lead balloons or not? Hope so! Glad you liked this poem. Thanks for sharing your fun story and for your great review! Sue
Comment from c_lucas
I really don't understand this form of poetry. It has a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
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I really don't understand this form of poetry. It has a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2009
Comment from RapturedHeart
Another powerful write from you I'm reading this morning, Sue. This thinking works so well with the challenge. You also seem to find the most incredible artwork! How true, what a treasured gift our free wills are. I've heard God criticized so often on this point, and yet, not one of us would want to give it up. Thanks so much for sharing, and all the best in the contest,
Heather
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Another powerful write from you I'm reading this morning, Sue. This thinking works so well with the challenge. You also seem to find the most incredible artwork! How true, what a treasured gift our free wills are. I've heard God criticized so often on this point, and yet, not one of us would want to give it up. Thanks so much for sharing, and all the best in the contest,
Heather
Comment Written 07-Apr-2009
Comment from womanwriter
Wonderful! I totally enjoyed it! Great message and in a wonderfully difficult (at least for me) form.
Thanks for sharing!
Sincerely,
Womanwriter
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Wonderful! I totally enjoyed it! Great message and in a wonderfully difficult (at least for me) form.
Thanks for sharing!
Sincerely,
Womanwriter
Comment Written 07-Apr-2009