CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "VIOLATED"A collection of poetry
42 total reviews
Comment from dewley11
Hi,sixteezkid,It must be awful experience,a nd I understand your shock.You write about it well to bring the trauma into the open,In some ways it is a pity that the attacker is dead his crime should have been made common knowledge ; it's one of the few ways that the problem might have been solved.People worry about children being attacked by a stranger,but in most cases it is a relative or close friend that is the attacker.
Yours Chris
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Hi,sixteezkid,It must be awful experience,a nd I understand your shock.You write about it well to bring the trauma into the open,In some ways it is a pity that the attacker is dead his crime should have been made common knowledge ; it's one of the few ways that the problem might have been solved.People worry about children being attacked by a stranger,but in most cases it is a relative or close friend that is the attacker.
Yours Chris
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
Comment from JoAnna Lee
Very well written, Sue. The only part I disagree with is the word "forever" -- My daughter was molested by someone none of us would have ever suspected, either. (When I found out, years later, I'd have killed him if he were not already deceased.)
Sure, there are probably still some emotional scars, but she has managed to forgive him... understanding (now) that he was "sick" and couldn't control his actions. She asked me to forgive him... and to remember him for all the good things. Forgiveness does not erase what happened, but... if you ask me, my daughter is the victor, having overcome the past, incorporated it into her life and has moved forward... It can be done.
Great write. Often time the perpetrator IS some we trust. This post may help others to be more aware.
Thanks for sharing,
Donna
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Very well written, Sue. The only part I disagree with is the word "forever" -- My daughter was molested by someone none of us would have ever suspected, either. (When I found out, years later, I'd have killed him if he were not already deceased.)
Sure, there are probably still some emotional scars, but she has managed to forgive him... understanding (now) that he was "sick" and couldn't control his actions. She asked me to forgive him... and to remember him for all the good things. Forgiveness does not erase what happened, but... if you ask me, my daughter is the victor, having overcome the past, incorporated it into her life and has moved forward... It can be done.
Great write. Often time the perpetrator IS some we trust. This post may help others to be more aware.
Thanks for sharing,
Donna
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a very touching and beautiful poem.
You describe in so few words, one of the most heinous crimes that bedevils humanity. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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This is a very touching and beautiful poem.
You describe in so few words, one of the most heinous crimes that bedevils humanity. Well done.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Yes, you are right, Perp. "bedevils humanity". What a sad commentary which is all truth. Thank you for your very kind review. Sue
Comment from Curt Mongold
They say you never do see it coming, but isn't there ANY sign at all? When I was a kid, we were just told to stay away from "Uncle Pete" or whoever parents were suspicious of, because they were suspicious of them. There were signs. What happened? It certainly must have been a most traumatic time for all involved. May time heal all wounds.
Sincerely,
Curt
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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They say you never do see it coming, but isn't there ANY sign at all? When I was a kid, we were just told to stay away from "Uncle Pete" or whoever parents were suspicious of, because they were suspicious of them. There were signs. What happened? It certainly must have been a most traumatic time for all involved. May time heal all wounds.
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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No signs, Cuz. Just a mongrel "friend" of a family member. It was the family member's fault for being so effing stupid and trusting in this world. Hence, that is why I find myself wearing my black "cynic's" dress more often these days. May they all have vigilantism come rain down upon them. Thanks for your review, Cuz....
Comment from Joan E.
Your poem gives us a powerful reminder of what lurks about the real world, and unfortunately sometimes within the family. (I have a sense that "With" ought to be "to" in the fifth line.) Repeating the word "Victim" provides perfect emphasis and the alliteration of "v's" and "f's" adds to the effect.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Your poem gives us a powerful reminder of what lurks about the real world, and unfortunately sometimes within the family. (I have a sense that "With" ought to be "to" in the fifth line.) Repeating the word "Victim" provides perfect emphasis and the alliteration of "v's" and "f's" adds to the effect.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Joan, I went back to read just now and I believe you are right. Grammatically and in sound. Yes, definitely grammatically. Thank you so much for seeing that. I'll change it now. And thank you for your very kind review. Always appreciated, Sue
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My pleasure to be helpful--I'm sure you'll do the same for me. See you soon in your writing.
Comment from steevie
a somber poem, Six
(I'm not sure but I think you eluded to this tradgey in another poem or story) If only we could go back in time an erase this horrible incident ...
I hope the person affected, (which there is many affected by this) is coping okay to a large degree
take care
steve
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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a somber poem, Six
(I'm not sure but I think you eluded to this tradgey in another poem or story) If only we could go back in time an erase this horrible incident ...
I hope the person affected, (which there is many affected by this) is coping okay to a large degree
take care
steve
Comment Written 03-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Steevie, your kind words mean a lot. You've a big heart. Thank you for your very kind review. Much appreciated, Sue
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no problem
you are very welcome, Six
take care
steve
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you're welcome, Six
have a great day
steve
Comment from TinyTeena
Well said and presented. Perfect to be presented in this form of poetry, beginning and ending with the same word helps reinforce the fact that the person is and always will be a victim - forever suffering the affects of the violation. It makes it even harder to accept that a trusted family member was the perpetrator of the act. A violation within your own home by someone close is very hard to understand and takes aware the security that should exist within the home and family members.
Vocab used is very expressive and the poem fits the syllable count for this style of poetry -
2-4-6-8-10-8-6-4-2
Can you remind me of the name of this style of poetry please?
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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Well said and presented. Perfect to be presented in this form of poetry, beginning and ending with the same word helps reinforce the fact that the person is and always will be a victim - forever suffering the affects of the violation. It makes it even harder to accept that a trusted family member was the perpetrator of the act. A violation within your own home by someone close is very hard to understand and takes aware the security that should exist within the home and family members.
Vocab used is very expressive and the poem fits the syllable count for this style of poetry -
2-4-6-8-10-8-6-4-2
Can you remind me of the name of this style of poetry please?
Comment Written 03-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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This is a rictameter. I love using it because if you want to write in free verse, yet only want very few words, this is the perfect vehicle.
Having to stay within those number of syllables really makes you choose your words very carefully.
It's also best to try to make it a good "diamond shape" as much as possible. Not perfect, but for example, not letting the 6 syllable line be longer than the eight.
And ensure you tie in the last word with the previous few words. Not to just let it dangle alone. That's about it.
Thank you so much for your very generous review and understanding.
With warm regards,
Sue
p.s. Can't wait to see your rictameter! Let me know when you've written it so I don't miss out on the review!
Comment from Amicus
Technically this poem works but I have serious problems with the message conveyed in the last two lines. Its a common attitude but a very damaging and short-sighted one. As a mental health professional for over twenty years, I know that those who have been victimized can and do become survivors especially when they can avoid well intentioned but crippling pity from those who see them as "damaged goods"--"Forever/A Victim". Please rethink your attitude if it is as expressed in your poem so you can truly be supportive to your traumatized family member.
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Technically this poem works but I have serious problems with the message conveyed in the last two lines. Its a common attitude but a very damaging and short-sighted one. As a mental health professional for over twenty years, I know that those who have been victimized can and do become survivors especially when they can avoid well intentioned but crippling pity from those who see them as "damaged goods"--"Forever/A Victim". Please rethink your attitude if it is as expressed in your poem so you can truly be supportive to your traumatized family member.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2009
Comment from Adri7enne
Just makes me really angry to hear of one more victim of predators. There's no end to it. Consequences spread like waves over the water.
Great artwork. Reflections of pain. Good poem.
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Just makes me really angry to hear of one more victim of predators. There's no end to it. Consequences spread like waves over the water.
Great artwork. Reflections of pain. Good poem.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2009
Comment from jlsavell
Sixteezkid, this is a stark portrayal of abuse at the hands of a trusted one. Most often it is never seen coming. well done richtameter..these types of poems are addiciting...jlsavell
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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Sixteezkid, this is a stark portrayal of abuse at the hands of a trusted one. Most often it is never seen coming. well done richtameter..these types of poems are addiciting...jlsavell
Comment Written 03-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2009
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Gotta pull that rictameter IV outta my arm! HA!! I guess soon enough I'll move on to another kick. But, these do the trick as far as telling a big story (a la free verse) within parameters, so a big dissertation isn't told. They do come in handy like that. Thank you very much for your great review. Always appreciated, Sue
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yes I once got addicted to them..actually they are quite challenging as it is not easy to do one well///well is the operative word.