Comment from Mr edd

Excellent

Very well put, I love reading these, so powerful yet so little words, and the thought stays with you. I am sure many people can relate to this one me included.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2009

Mr. edd, (I just love that name!) - Thank you very much for your very kind words and review. So appreciated, Sue :-))

Comment from Curt Mongold

Excellent

The ending of a relationship, even a bad one, can be so traumatic. I was lucky enough that by the time the divorce papers rolled around, I was only too happy to sign them and get the hell away from the nightmare. Still, I've had bad break ups, and this write is penned very well for that emotion.
Best of luck Cuz,
Curt

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2009

So, you signed and bolted! Sometimes it happens that way and for good reason. Thanks for your excellent review, Cuz. And for your comments. :-)) Suz

Comment from wierdgrace

Excellent

I started reading this right away, so I can see what this contest is about, and I loved the excellent way you worded and organized it. It is wonderfully structure, I see no revisions needed. and I loved it for this contest.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

This is indeed powerful,
with very words but
speaking volumes - cleverly
thoughtout.

Good luck with the contest, my friend.

Margaret.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2009

Margaret, Thank you very much for your very generous review and compliments. And for your well-wishes. With regards, Sue

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

so soon that all went asunder...
is the thought that came into my mind after reading your poem. for you see I have been there and done that. This was a very well written poem with some excellent word choices.this was my pleasure to have read and reviewed it... John

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2009

John, "all went asunder".....yes. With the ripple effects that go throughout the family. Thank you for your very generous review. I'm glad you liked this work. With regards, Sue

Comment from Jim Lorson Sr

Excellent

Hey six, the artwork is perfect for this heartbreaking poem. I've did this twice in my life. Jumped for joy with the 1st one, but was very sad with my 2nd. All is good now though.

Good luck in the contest............jim

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2009

Jim, there are those times when the marriage is "hell on wheels" and a divorce is just the ticket! Ha! But, most of the time, it is hard for both; many lost dreams. Obviously, you had this on the next go. Thanks for saying that all is well now. All's well with me now, also. Thanks very much for your very generous review and words. Regards, Sue

Comment from sherrygreywolf

Excellent

This poem says it all. Whether you wanted or didn't want the divorce, signing the final papers are an emotional experience. You have captured that perfectly.

good work - sherry

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2009

Yes, with all the many dreams of a life together, when they fall apart, there is such pain on both sides. Thank you for your very generous review and comments. With regards, Sue

Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

A love poem, the sweetest, or the most heartbreaking, is what the contest called for. This one at first appears to fit the bill for the latter. It makes the reader wonder that if there are tears, why would there be divorce. Then when we realise that love is still there beckoning another look, it is the former. You give us much to think about.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

Comment from jshep

Excellent

VERY powerful and so final. Gave me chills at how easy it is to dissolve a vow. Excellent poem that should be a top entry in the contest. Joyce

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2009

Joyce, yes...therein lies the contrast. So difficult, yet so easy. I thank you for your most generous review. So much appreciated, Sue

Comment from Ian Ayris

Excellent

Hi Sixteezkid.

Loved the layout and the colour scheme of this. And the words are so powerful - up 'til the last line. Don't quite know why, but it sort of fell flat for me at this point.

I was looking for something a little more to ponder on. Perhaps replacing 'We cry', with something more ambiguous and powerful like the simple word 'Regret', might work. Did the couple regret the divorce, or getting married at all. Sort of leaves the reader with something to ponder in the ambiguity, if you see what I mean.

Look after yourself.

Warmest regards,

Ian

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2009

Ian, thank you very much for taking the time these comments. The contest requires exactly 15 words, so it was a feat. I would have loved to say, "We both cry", as that is what happened with my husband and I at that time. So, I wrote "we cry". This is written in the present tense, giving the feeling of that moment looking at the papers. Of course, regret is permeated throughout a divorce. So many regrets. And I suppose the "we cry" encompasses every feeling that goes with it. So, I chose not to be specific, as there are a range of emotions from A to Z involved. No regrets in getting married, no. I feel it's okay to feel ambiguous about it, because that emotion, also, goes along with divorce. I hope this insight may give you a better idea where I was coming from. However, I most certainly appreciate your comments and suggestions. Always a compliment for someone to care enough to want a piece to be better. Again, thank you for your generous and honest review. With regards, Sue

reply by Ian Ayris on 25-Jan-2009

My pleasure, Sue. Had a feeling it was a taken from life piece. Life, eh. Be true to yourself and look after yourself and those that you love, and it sort of works out, in the end.

Warmest regards,

Ian

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2009

You have a heart of gold, Ian. I thank you for all your kind words.
Sue