CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 146 "Warmth Lies Dormant"A collection of poetry
131 total reviews
Comment from EKPoet
this is a pretty good haiku. nice nature theme, great balance and symmetry of the meter, great images. I like the way the white of winter paints over the colors of autumn and the ground waits for spring. maybe dropping 'the' at the start of the third line will make it sound more oriental, but then you need to add another syllable. i did a few of my own haikus in a 5-7-3 meter construction to throw it off balance a little bit, they did pretty well. chekc out Butterflies in my port EKPoet
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this is a pretty good haiku. nice nature theme, great balance and symmetry of the meter, great images. I like the way the white of winter paints over the colors of autumn and the ground waits for spring. maybe dropping 'the' at the start of the third line will make it sound more oriental, but then you need to add another syllable. i did a few of my own haikus in a 5-7-3 meter construction to throw it off balance a little bit, they did pretty well. chekc out Butterflies in my port EKPoet
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from RaymondJohn
Excellent 5-7-5 Haiku. The bleakness of the graphic matches the bleakness of the message. I like winter less every year. As with all good Haiku, you have good movement in the words, instruction and a fine surprise in the ending. Best wishes. Ray.
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Excellent 5-7-5 Haiku. The bleakness of the graphic matches the bleakness of the message. I like winter less every year. As with all good Haiku, you have good movement in the words, instruction and a fine surprise in the ending. Best wishes. Ray.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from Leonidus07
Great poem! No errors, spelling or grammar, that i noticed! it flowed very well, and had a very calm feeling to it. Great job, and good luck with any other writing!
~Leonidus07
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Great poem! No errors, spelling or grammar, that i noticed! it flowed very well, and had a very calm feeling to it. Great job, and good luck with any other writing!
~Leonidus07
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from DawningOne
I think this is an excellant haiku
piece of poetry.
The picture you used was very stark
photography! You captured winters
bleakness in word and art. Great job!
God bless you!
Much love,
Dawn
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I think this is an excellant haiku
piece of poetry.
The picture you used was very stark
photography! You captured winters
bleakness in word and art. Great job!
God bless you!
Much love,
Dawn
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from Nanny 6
This is a magnificent entry! The whole layout is well done with the black and white picture to illustrate the autumn colors gone. Waiting for spring...Very visual Haiku. Judy
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This is a magnificent entry! The whole layout is well done with the black and white picture to illustrate the autumn colors gone. Waiting for spring...Very visual Haiku. Judy
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from toddnyc
Very vivid picture of the seasons you've painted here. I could not suggest any changes. Well written, beautiful prose I enjoyed this read. Todd
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Very vivid picture of the seasons you've painted here. I could not suggest any changes. Well written, beautiful prose I enjoyed this read. Todd
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from chaswriter
Sue - Nice haiku. You write with beautiful visuals in this one. I would suggest that you take the punctuation out. I enjoyed it. Charlie.
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Sue - Nice haiku. You write with beautiful visuals in this one. I would suggest that you take the punctuation out. I enjoyed it. Charlie.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from mushroom
a very descriptive haiku really captures the depth of winter and the the way it takes over Autumn, i like the ground waiting for spring, lovely
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a very descriptive haiku really captures the depth of winter and the the way it takes over Autumn, i like the ground waiting for spring, lovely
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from rama devi
I really like this. It is creative and original. Well worded and true to form.
My only nit is the use of the word THE in third line. It is ok, but an adjective would get more mileage from that syllable.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
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I really like this. It is creative and original. Well worded and true to form.
My only nit is the use of the word THE in third line. It is ok, but an adjective would get more mileage from that syllable.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from Vallachi
winter's bite blanches,
consuming autumn colors.
the ground waits for spring.
this is a great Haiku
did it win?
I see you raised six kids! Now that is hard!
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winter's bite blanches,
consuming autumn colors.
the ground waits for spring.
this is a great Haiku
did it win?
I see you raised six kids! Now that is hard!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008