Reviews from

Stalker

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Mommy, where are you!"
Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker

19 total reviews 
Comment from Readywriter52
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sadie is upset because someone has kidnapped Candace. No one else seems to know what happen to Candace. They know that Sadie is acting strangely. Rudy won't listen to Sadie. He thinks she needs to unwind.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2008


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2008
    Hi RW,

    Good to see you again. Thanks for the kind words and high rating,

    Gayle
Comment from Sylvia Page
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great job Gayle describing the dog's attitude. Oh these dogs feel for you much more than humans do. Very good imagery and suspense.
Regards,
Sylvia

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2008


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2008
    Hi Sylvia,

    So nice to see you again. Yes, I agree, a dog's devotion on 100% across the board. I'm glad you felt for Sadie. Just between you and me? I cried.

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very well written maintaing a high level of suspense. Very good dialogue. The story has excellent imagery and descriptive scheme.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2008


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2008
    Hi Charlie,

    Thanks so much for the R&R and great comments. I appreciate your insights, my friend. Thank you,

    Gayle
reply by c_lucas on 29-Jul-2008
    You're welcome, Gayle. Charlie
Comment from RenieReader
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Gayle: This story has me enraptured. Poor Sadie and Candace. What will happen to them? I can hardly stand the suspense. Will Sadie calm down soon enough to be of help? Now poor litle Sara doesn't have her Mom and her Dad is in Europe. Superb writing, my friend.

One suggestion:
"Sara, come here[,] sweetie.

Hugs,
Renie

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2008


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2008
    Oh Renie, hold onto your hat. We finally have all the players in place. Now the games begin! Wheeeeeeeee!

    Thanks for that beautiful sixer, girl, you bring tears to the old eyes. Love the review...sounds like the soap opera's "coming scenes" endings!

    Hugs and love,
    Gayle
Comment from Lynn27
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Gayle,

One word: WoW! What a hook you have. When are you going post the next chapter? You have me on the edge of my seat!

Excellent, Excellent Chapter!

Lynn

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2008


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2008
    Hey Lynn,

    Poor Sadie, huh? I'm going to finish replying to my reviews and will have another chapter ready by this evening, maybe earlier. It's gonna star moving very fast from here on in.

    See you in a bit!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from Allezw2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lady STB

Crazy canine, because no one undestands her.

Now that is frustration.

I can not think of a more frustrating situation than a lost child.

To have an adult vanish under incomprhensible circumstances would certainly rattle lots of cages.

Another spellbinder,

Fantasist

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2008


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2008
    Hey Wayne,

    I would imagine you are as 'up to speed' on cold fusion as I'll ever be. Fascinating, isn't it. Hey, keep me on the straight and narrow if I give off a 'wrong' fact. We're just about done with the scientific stuff. Now we're about to go on a hunt!

    Thanks so much,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
reply by Allezw2 on 29-Jul-2008
    You are quite welcome.
Comment from rhymer1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Narrative and dialog are up to snuff. I have no idea what is going on having jumped in in the middle, but the excitment is well handled. slainte, rhymer1.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2008


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2008
    Well, hey, you! Gee, I'm smiling! It's been ages. Hope all is well with you. Thanks for the great review, my friend, and don't be a stranger!

    Gayle
Comment from Korton
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another excellent chapter. I'm guessing that Jim is now searching the property and will find both Tom's body and the hole in the fence. Sounds like Sadie is a nervous wreck and probably will stay in an excited state until reunited. Very well done.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2008


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2008
    Hey Frank,

    That is exactly what's going to happen. They're all kinda in a holding pattern..it's dark, but at first light they're gonna go 'sploring. We know what they'll find...a HUGE red herring!

    Oh, this is so much fun! Thanks for the support, Frank, I really appreciate your input and comments,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from Dave M
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Gayle,

This is an excellent chapter. You bet Sadie is upset! I would not have known how to describe a guard dog who had failed in this way, but you've done it really well.

I have a couple of comments:

"She was right there with us while we played [were playing] with the sparklers." I know we writers are supposed to shun the past progressive tense. But IMHO, this is how a child would say it.

"...she grabbed hold of the front
of his shirt and jerked several times." There is a spurious hard line break after the word "front."

Dave M

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2008


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2008
    Hi Dave,

    Poor Sadie, can't you imagine her anger and frustration. Writing the scene between her and Rudy made me cry. That wretched EE. I'll fix that format problem.

    Now, I'll have to think about that 'were playing' idea...not sure on that one! :-)

    Thanks so much, my friend, we're about to take off!

    Gayle