BOOK OF RENGA POEMS
Viewing comments for Chapter 69 "Becoming One"Renga is a collective poets Japanese poem
18 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Yvette, I love your renga poem's darkness hehe I'm a big fun of horror
I am happy you contributed to the Renga Book. It's an excellent chapter. The poem has the right composition. Beautiful presentation and imagery. Good syllables and connection between lines. Thank you for adding the author notes :)
Gypsy
suggestion:
It flows better if you don't repeat words in linked stanzas.
CHAPTER 68 previous stanza:
Wolf Moon awakens (the pack)
nestled on the horizon
=============
CHAPTER 69
Calls for unity
As old enemies approach
(Pack) is family (something like: family attacks)
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2025
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Yvette, I love your renga poem's darkness hehe I'm a big fun of horror
I am happy you contributed to the Renga Book. It's an excellent chapter. The poem has the right composition. Beautiful presentation and imagery. Good syllables and connection between lines. Thank you for adding the author notes :)
Gypsy
suggestion:
It flows better if you don't repeat words in linked stanzas.
CHAPTER 68 previous stanza:
Wolf Moon awakens (the pack)
nestled on the horizon
=============
CHAPTER 69
Calls for unity
As old enemies approach
(Pack) is family (something like: family attacks)
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2025
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Thanx for the suggestion, Gypsy... guess I see the repetition in this case as more as a continuum toward the unity aspect, not repetition... and mine certainly was nowhere near the violence 'attacks' suggests... Take care! ;) Yvette
Comment from Rachelle Allen
This one's really good. You pierced the heart of the message with your perfect word choices, then you finished it off with THE perfect picture. Super duper job!
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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This one's really good. You pierced the heart of the message with your perfect word choices, then you finished it off with THE perfect picture. Super duper job!
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Well, Happy New Year, my friend!! Sorry I've been 'out', but the boys were in and then I had lots of hours at work but things are settling back into a routine.... just in time for what looks to be an 'snow event' late tonight/early tomorrow morning! :) And you know us Southerners... we'd rather just 'hold up' rather than drive on roads that have no equipment to help clear them... so, of course, they just shut everything down!! ;)
All that just to say thank you so very much for these wonderful stars, Red!! Each time I'm away for a bit, I realize how much my brain enjoys the composition and, especially, the interactions! ;) Hope this finds you well up there and keep on takin' good care of yourself! :) Blessings for the New Year ahead.... I got a good feeling about things! ;) Yvette
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hey Yvette.
I like the content of this poem. His nuance but the message is quite clear in the last line. Your included picture effectively summarizes your poem's narrative.
Z
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Hey Yvette.
I like the content of this poem. His nuance but the message is quite clear in the last line. Your included picture effectively summarizes your poem's narrative.
Z
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Thanx so much for taking the time, Z - always so appreciated! ;) Yvette
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You're welcome, Yvette.
Z
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Very good poem for the Renga book. I've been meaning to add another, myself. Your syllables were good and your words well chosen, to create an imagery of this pack sticking together when danger is near. I enjoyed reading this. Beat wishes to you, Alex
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Very good poem for the Renga book. I've been meaning to add another, myself. Your syllables were good and your words well chosen, to create an imagery of this pack sticking together when danger is near. I enjoyed reading this. Beat wishes to you, Alex
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Thanx so much for stopping by on this shortie, my lady -- much appreciated! ;)
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You're welcome!
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Becoming One, has the proper formatting and shows the pack drawing together for protection from either rivals or the dreaded enemy man. .
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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This 5-7-5, Becoming One, has the proper formatting and shows the pack drawing together for protection from either rivals or the dreaded enemy man. .
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Thanx so much for taking the time, Sir Bill - always so appreciated! ;) Yvette
Comment from June Sargent
You've gotten the hang of how to keep it going in the book of renga. We can always pivot the perspective while still maintaining a theme. Well done!
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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You've gotten the hang of how to keep it going in the book of renga. We can always pivot the perspective while still maintaining a theme. Well done!
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Thanx so much for taking the time, Lady June - always so appreciated! ;) Yvette
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I love the positive energy of this poem. Yes. Unity is the key in this very divisive time and "Pack is family" for sure. I will try to continue this high note.
Well done.
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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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I love the positive energy of this poem. Yes. Unity is the key in this very divisive time and "Pack is family" for sure. I will try to continue this high note.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Thanx so much for taking the time, my lady - always so appreciated! ;) Yvette
Comment from patcelaw
Chapter for the author book and I very much enjoyed listening to your presentation is very nice and it looks very well on the page. I wish you the very best for the year and may God bless you. Patricia.
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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Chapter for the author book and I very much enjoyed listening to your presentation is very nice and it looks very well on the page. I wish you the very best for the year and may God bless you. Patricia.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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Thanx so much for taking the time, Patricia - always so appreciated! ;) Yvette
