DUEL with the DEVIL
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "DUEL with the DEVIL - Chapter 32"The problem of creating a non-addictive painkiller
18 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I don't think that's what the doctor advised is it? And Brian is rather distorting the truth here. He's had some amazing support and intervention but he's still very much under the control of the drug. This is all expressed with usual fluency and clarity. I would only make two suggestions:
1) Sometimes the dialogue can get a bit verbose e.g.
"if you don't put forth your best effort" - maybe, if you don't try your hardest...
2) He already knew Julia (I think you're being too helpful to the reader as we already know that?:))
But this is being picky and, as ever your chapter reads with eloquence and enjoyment, Jim. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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I don't think that's what the doctor advised is it? And Brian is rather distorting the truth here. He's had some amazing support and intervention but he's still very much under the control of the drug. This is all expressed with usual fluency and clarity. I would only make two suggestions:
1) Sometimes the dialogue can get a bit verbose e.g.
"if you don't put forth your best effort" - maybe, if you don't try your hardest...
2) He already knew Julia (I think you're being too helpful to the reader as we already know that?:))
But this is being picky and, as ever your chapter reads with eloquence and enjoyment, Jim. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Are you referring to the tapering off versus going cold turkey for opioids? Not sure what you meant in your first couple of remarks.
If it's that issue, it's not a good idea to go cold turkey after you've been taking it for two months the way Brian has because you will have very unpleasant withdrawal symptoms, which can even include suicidal thoughts. A taper-off schedule is usually provided by the doctor to make sure the body can adjust to doing without the addictive substance.
I agree with both your good suggestions for tightening up the dialog and I will make the changes. Thank you, Debbie!
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Sorry, Jim, completely my misunderstanding because I was thinking that Brian was talking about the Oxy laced with fentanyl being hard to taper off and he was urging Daniel to get him more. I've re-read it in your chapter and it's absolutely clear. I must have had a brainstorm because I just don't trust Brian following instructions:(
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No worries. You're right, though. Brian is not to be trusted with a larger supply than is needed right at the moment. But at least he recognizes that and is willing to let someone else dole it out to him.
That would be like having a giant box of cookies in our house. I'd never be able to just have one or two a day. Unfortunately, there's no one to dole them out piecemeal here, so we just don't buy them at all. (Doesn't stop us from making a homemade batch occasionally, though!)
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Jim,
Your story says so much.
Brian is addicted, and the reader wonders if he will relapse again. He has wonderful friends, though, and this is a tremendous help.
How will he beat this addiction?
Excellent chapter, Jim.
Best wishes,
Cindy
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Jim,
Your story says so much.
Brian is addicted, and the reader wonders if he will relapse again. He has wonderful friends, though, and this is a tremendous help.
How will he beat this addiction?
Excellent chapter, Jim.
Best wishes,
Cindy
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Thanks very much, Cindy. We know from the Prologue that he relapses at least one more time, but beating the addiction is what Part 2 is all about. He would never be able to make it without the support of those he loves, though, and they figure large in Part 2.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
The thought came to me that this story resonates a history in which you were a part. I hope not, but it seems reasonable since you tell the story as a witness would in court.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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The thought came to me that this story resonates a history in which you were a part. I hope not, but it seems reasonable since you tell the story as a witness would in court.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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There is a great deal of truth to your speculations. My story isn't Brian's, but there are some marked similarities, especially later in the aftermath of the scene from the Prologue when we get back to that.
Comment from tfawcus
Another good chapter, Jim, with all of the cast staying in character. This is a powerful story and I imagine it will resonate with many who have been sucked into a similar situation.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Another good chapter, Jim, with all of the cast staying in character. This is a powerful story and I imagine it will resonate with many who have been sucked into a similar situation.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Tony. I'm glad you can appreciate that the characters are staying true to themselves and aren't so quick to judge them as being unrealistic. Not all reviewers are as accepting of the reality of the characters.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I love how you're telling the story with so much dialogue; I'm always a fan of dialogue as opposed to a narrator telling us what is going on.
I see a sunny ending to the semester, but I don't think the storms have passed quite yet.
Looking forward to the next two chapters.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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I love how you're telling the story with so much dialogue; I'm always a fan of dialogue as opposed to a narrator telling us what is going on.
I see a sunny ending to the semester, but I don't think the storms have passed quite yet.
Looking forward to the next two chapters.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Thanks for your great comments, Pam. I think you could have written this story considering how accurate your speculations have been and are.
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We think alike:-)
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written.
If course I'm happy that you are rescuing Brian (and all his relationships), but I'm troubled by the details. He borrowed from his senior year finances? How do you do that? What about Soph and Jr. years money? How is he paying co-pay and deductibles and expenses not covered? I've never heard of a surgery being advanced because it would be more convenient. More, but that's enough.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Nicely written.
If course I'm happy that you are rescuing Brian (and all his relationships), but I'm troubled by the details. He borrowed from his senior year finances? How do you do that? What about Soph and Jr. years money? How is he paying co-pay and deductibles and expenses not covered? I've never heard of a surgery being advanced because it would be more convenient. More, but that's enough.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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You do worry so about details, don't you? :-)
Okay, here goes: Probably I should have said he just borrowed from his trust and not specified senior year. I will change that. He's also borrowing that money to pay the co-pay, deductibles, etc. His doctor had a cancellation, and decided to let Brian have it because Dr. Eppig made a good case for it.
Now, I could have mentioned all that, but I'd really prefer to ignore some of the nitty-gritty and let the reader attempt to fill that in for me and devote the time to what I feel are the important aspects of the story. I've found that I personally prefer novels on the shorter side (say, 300 pages) because the longer ones tend to fill in all that nitty-gritty that I find unnecessarily tedious.
When we watch a movie together, my wife will often worry about all the little details like that, and I will say to her, "Who cares? They had to edit that stuff out. The movie's long enough." That shuts her up for a while, at least until the next time something strikes her as off. :-)
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Sorry. I'll shut up (maybe for a while - smiley face here). Nitty gritty doesn't have to be detailed in a novel, but I need plausibility, unless it's fantasy. Just me, but my concept of FanStory is that we lay it out there for accolades and (constructive, we hope) criticism.
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No, don't ever hold back. Please tell it like you see it. I always welcome your comments and suggestions whether I take them or not (and I do take some). You help keep me honest.
Plus, I do enjoy discussing the story with readers, and some of my favorite discussions are with you and Lance, who also finds a lot of fault in my stories. I don't agree with him about most of it, but that's fine too; I love the back-and-forth.
It's all good, and it helps us be better writers in the long run to know how readers are responding to what we write. So, don't shut up for too long.
Part 2 is where I'm really looking forward to input from readers because we get into some rather complex science, and I want to make sure it's understandable and that it's not overdone.
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science --- nitty gritty?
smiley face here
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But that's the kind of nitty-gritty I find interesting. I just hope others will too (or at the very least won't be bored to tears with it!)
Comment from Wendy G
He is so very fortunate to have a friend, a girlfriend, and an older sister who are all willing to go out of their way to help him. Knowing you have an addiction and wanting to be clean just aren't enough to keep him clean. Very well written, as always.
Wendy
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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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He is so very fortunate to have a friend, a girlfriend, and an older sister who are all willing to go out of their way to help him. Knowing you have an addiction and wanting to be clean just aren't enough to keep him clean. Very well written, as always.
Wendy
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Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Yes, he is extremely fortunate for them and probably wouldn't have much chance to recover without them because it's such a tough thing to do by yourself without support.
Comment from lancellot
You know, not complaining, but sooner or later, everyone can't be so nice and sweet to a junkie who nearly killed himself several times, lies, gave his lab partner (and roomie's girlfriend) 2nd degree burns (chicks don't usually take well to skin burns). And finding your roomie ODed in your form room. I assume the school will have an issue with this, even if law enforcement sister and ex-drug addict girlfriend doesn't. Will Julia keep this from her parents? Is Julia really the woman he marries?
Just asking, because we already know where the story ends.
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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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You know, not complaining, but sooner or later, everyone can't be so nice and sweet to a junkie who nearly killed himself several times, lies, gave his lab partner (and roomie's girlfriend) 2nd degree burns (chicks don't usually take well to skin burns). And finding your roomie ODed in your form room. I assume the school will have an issue with this, even if law enforcement sister and ex-drug addict girlfriend doesn't. Will Julia keep this from her parents? Is Julia really the woman he marries?
Just asking, because we already know where the story ends.
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Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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I can sort of understand why you think this because you got a glimpse of him in the Prologue, but Fran and Julia aren't privy to that because it's way in the future. (And you don't know the full circumstances of that yet either.)
Think about this logically, first from Fran's perspective at this point in time when he's 18. At age 16 he ODs after doing some stupid things (wrecking his car and hurting himself, buying illegal drugs and getting so stoned on them he neglects and kills his cat and lies about it), but he doesn't deny he's got a problem and willingly goes to rehab where he does well. He stays drug-free for two years until a terrible accident at college which puts him back in excruciating pain, so he ends up seeking drugs again for it. It's not like he's an irresponsible druggie constantly getting stoned for the high. It's two instances provoked by great pain.
From Julia's perspective, she only hears about the first instance while at rehab for a problem she also has with drugs. For two whole years while she knows him and falls in love with him (and face it--he's very good to her--driving up to NY to help calm her down for her audition to Juilliard, etc.), he never uses drugs. It's only the one time in college two years later after an excruciatingly painful accident that he begins using again--not for pleasure but for pain--that she has seen him use drugs.
Do you honestly think they should come down hard on him and stop being nice to him? Here's a guy who recognizes his problem and has tried hard to avoid drugs except for two times in two years when he was in great pain. He doesn't try to deny it when they find out, he's willing to take the steps to stop, he's a good and serious student who at all other times acts responsibly. I mean, how hard can you be on a guy like that?
From Kimiko's perspective, he's been a great lab partner and friend until one time he makes a fairly routine mistake that causes some burns for which he is extremely apologetic. Wouldn't you be forgiving in that case? She has no idea what he's going through with pain and drugs right now.
Incidentally, Julia does tell her parents about it as we will find out later.
From the kids you have seen and work with, I think you might have a jaded view of drug use. There are a lot of good people who get ensnared by them, and it isn't totally their fault which I will talk about later when we get into the science. I think as long as the person admits the problem and takes steps to remedy it when it reaches out and grabs him, you shouldn't come down too hard on him, but show a little understanding and compassion.
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Not saying you can't write it or see it the way you want. Just pointing out as a reader and reviewer things do appear balanced in a realistic way humans behave.