Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Simple Gifts (Gretchen's side)"Two very real women in not so real situation.
26 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent. Great Authors Notes comments.
I always ate far more than went into the bucket.
I can't wait to read Rachelle's after you nearly had her crying. Hah!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Excellent. Great Authors Notes comments.
I always ate far more than went into the bucket.
I can't wait to read Rachelle's after you nearly had her crying. Hah!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Wayne. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I think we all need reminding that God knows what He's doing. It would be a lot easier to remember if He shared His plans with us, but He doesn't. DARN!! I am so enjoying reading this story. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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I think we all need reminding that God knows what He's doing. It would be a lot easier to remember if He shared His plans with us, but He doesn't. DARN!! I am so enjoying reading this story. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you are enjoying this. Gretchen
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I love this double pov. Poor Rachelle is having a hard time. You are adjusting nicely. I would like to "visit" Amish country. No electricity and bathrooms must be hard but there are many pluses.
Love it!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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I love this double pov. Poor Rachelle is having a hard time. You are adjusting nicely. I would like to "visit" Amish country. No electricity and bathrooms must be hard but there are many pluses.
Love it!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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I'd need a hot shower. For all of our sakes. Lol. But it would be a nice forced slow down. Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You made me smile Gretchen as your view of the food is so very different to Rachelle's and I enjoyed your private concerns about Rachelle and how you are happy that she is in her happy place. I certainly hope the two of you are rescued soon as I don't want Rachelle to starve to death! Ha ha ha, another fine chapter of this adventure that went very wrong! A fun post, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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You made me smile Gretchen as your view of the food is so very different to Rachelle's and I enjoyed your private concerns about Rachelle and how you are happy that she is in her happy place. I certainly hope the two of you are rescued soon as I don't want Rachelle to starve to death! Ha ha ha, another fine chapter of this adventure that went very wrong! A fun post, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Dolly. If it's home cooking, I'm right there with a fork in hand and a napkin in my lap. Lol. I really appreciate this nice review. Gretchen
Comment from patcelaw
This is another very well written chapter and I enjoyed very much listening to it. Your sentence structure is your paragraphing and your punctuation are all very good and because of it your story flows well when it is read aloud. Patricia.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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This is another very well written chapter and I enjoyed very much listening to it. Your sentence structure is your paragraphing and your punctuation are all very good and because of it your story flows well when it is read aloud. Patricia.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thank you very much, Patricia. I appreciate this. Gretchen
Comment from judiverse
I am enjoying your adventures so much, and I hope you finally make it to the convention. Wouldn't it be neat to attend a FanStory convention? I've always found it strange about the faceless dolls, and that the Amish don't want pictures of themselves taken. I guess they don't need licenses to drive their buggies. I live next door to Parke County, Indiana, which has a large Amish population, so I'm somewhat familiar with their ways. You and Rachelle are both doing a great job of capturing their way of life. It would bore me tremendously, as it apparently is doing to you. I like that your character is also in awe of their singing "Amazing Grace." How dull that no musical instruments are allowed. judi
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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I am enjoying your adventures so much, and I hope you finally make it to the convention. Wouldn't it be neat to attend a FanStory convention? I've always found it strange about the faceless dolls, and that the Amish don't want pictures of themselves taken. I guess they don't need licenses to drive their buggies. I live next door to Parke County, Indiana, which has a large Amish population, so I'm somewhat familiar with their ways. You and Rachelle are both doing a great job of capturing their way of life. It would bore me tremendously, as it apparently is doing to you. I like that your character is also in awe of their singing "Amazing Grace." How dull that no musical instruments are allowed. judi
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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It would be a culture shock. They would probably drive me off the premises because of my mouth. Lol. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Mrs. KT
Beautiful chapter, Gretchen, in terms of pacing and realism.
I loved the interplay between you and Helene and the girls.
I may have stuck out my tongue at Hannah as well! :)
Wonderful concluding paragraph:
I smile, knowing Rachelle who has been upset all day, is in her happy place. I look up and wink at the heavens. God knows what he's (He's) doing. I sometimes forget that.
Just two little nits here:
After lunch, its (it's) back to the fields for Rachelle and me, led by the energetic little girls. I start picking slower and slower, not minding that I'm getting some disappointed looks from the other three. It's hot, I'm tired and itchy, I keep seeing bears in my peripheral vision, only to have them disappear when I look over. The bees have started to hang around me too long (,) and I haven't totally forgotten the horror movie that first played in my head. "Are we done yet?" I ask.
Thank you for sharing!
fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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Beautiful chapter, Gretchen, in terms of pacing and realism.
I loved the interplay between you and Helene and the girls.
I may have stuck out my tongue at Hannah as well! :)
Wonderful concluding paragraph:
I smile, knowing Rachelle who has been upset all day, is in her happy place. I look up and wink at the heavens. God knows what he's (He's) doing. I sometimes forget that.
Just two little nits here:
After lunch, its (it's) back to the fields for Rachelle and me, led by the energetic little girls. I start picking slower and slower, not minding that I'm getting some disappointed looks from the other three. It's hot, I'm tired and itchy, I keep seeing bears in my peripheral vision, only to have them disappear when I look over. The bees have started to hang around me too long (,) and I haven't totally forgotten the horror movie that first played in my head. "Are we done yet?" I ask.
Thank you for sharing!
fondly,
diane
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Diane. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for catching those edits as well. Gretchen
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Using two authors to write from different points of view is extremely clever. It opens up a whole new dimension to the chapters, and lets better-rounded characters be built up. Nice write, kay
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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Using two authors to write from different points of view is extremely clever. It opens up a whole new dimension to the chapters, and lets better-rounded characters be built up. Nice write, kay
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Kay. It's been fun writing with Rachelle. I appreciate your comments. Gretchen
Comment from BethShelby
This is an excellent story. It sounds like you aren't cut out for Amish country. Neither am I. I'm sure the experience of living like they do for a while wouldn't hurt anyone. Actually their way or life is not that different from the way my grandparents lived. I love being around then but I never had to work hard like they did. I would be more like Rachelle when it come to food though. I couldn't handle are that pork.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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This is an excellent story. It sounds like you aren't cut out for Amish country. Neither am I. I'm sure the experience of living like they do for a while wouldn't hurt anyone. Actually their way or life is not that different from the way my grandparents lived. I love being around then but I never had to work hard like they did. I would be more like Rachelle when it come to food though. I couldn't handle are that pork.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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I haven't had much pork in years. Other than barbeque, nothing else. I'm not a big fan of pigs to begin with. Lol. Thank you for this nice review and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Gretchen
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Your writing is very good. How much research did you do before you started this story? I have no trouble seeing this movie in my head at all. One of them could have riden to the next farm,closest to town, who would then ride to the next and so one until the town was reached and a car was sent. You should mention this to them. You should already have been rescued.
My thoughts. Karen
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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Your writing is very good. How much research did you do before you started this story? I have no trouble seeing this movie in my head at all. One of them could have riden to the next farm,closest to town, who would then ride to the next and so one until the town was reached and a car was sent. You should mention this to them. You should already have been rescued.
My thoughts. Karen
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2024
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Rescued? There'd be no story. Lol. Maybe I will mention it. I have researched bits and pieces, but Rachelle is more knowledgeable. Thank you. Gretchen
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As soon as I said it, I realized that. But who is to say there can not be more weird stuff? Karen