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DUEL with the DEVIL

Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "DUEL with the DEVIL - Chapter 26"
The problem of creating a non-addictive painkiller

17 total reviews 
Comment from Neonewman
Excellent
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It's all about the delivery when telling a joke. I figured Kimiko thought Daniel was asking her if she farted. He will learn, lol. This is another great chapter, fun and relatable.
God bless,
Steve

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
    Don't know if you ever read the original telling of the joke in chapter 15. I probably should have included it as an author note in this posting. Happy you enjoyed it, Steve.
reply by Neonewman on 13-Aug-2024
    I'm sure I did.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Poor Daniel. Certainly doesn't have much idea about girls or conversation. And fart jokes are much more humorous for males than for females (especially on a first date). He'll get there, and at least she's willing to give him another chance. Well done. A good read.
Wendy

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
    Thanks, Wendy. We may see a bit of a turnaround in the next chapter for Daniel and Kimiko. All is not necessarily lost quite yet.

    Definitely poor judgment telling that joke on a first date.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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Not sure I got the joke that Daniel was trying to tell that came out all wrong. It just sounded like an insult. First dates can be a bit awkward for youngsters. There has to be some kind of spark when you meet someone and I am not sure there were any sparks flying here with these two innocents souls. Another fine chapter Jim, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
    You'll have to read the actual joke which can be found in Chapter 15 when Brian tells it to Julia. It wasn't supposed to be directed towards Kimiko, but Daniel sure made it look like it was. Maybe they'll get a second chance.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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Well, as usual, you do a great job with your writing, grammar, and editing. The pacing of the chapter went well, and it was easy to follow and understand. Your characters are unique to your writing style.

But, really, would a young man do what Brian does? For one, he leaves his girlfriend with his roommate way too much, even letting him talk to her over Skype seemed odd. I know 'you' are comfortable in your manhood, but... Brian is not you (at your current age). He's 18, with his first girlfriend.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
    Thanks for the nice comments about the writing, Lance. I appreciate it. I think you and I might always see things differently as regards male characters. You seem to find them unrealistic, but they don't strike me that way at all. They are not what you would call man's men or macho men, but tend to be more cerebral, and introverted. At least in the last two. Somewhat innocent or naive. It wouldn't occur to Brian that he should worry about Daniel and Julia alone. He just wouldn't. He knows them both too well to think that anything might change if they were to meet and get to know each other.

    There was a time right after Elise and I got married. I think I was 22 at the time and she was 21, and we had to live apart one summer while she was working on her master's degree while I was in another state working. She used to go to a pool, and she befriended another guy about our age. I'm sure he was interested in her as more than a friend, but I wasn't worried about her. Of course, I gave it a passing thought, but I knew her so well that I was confident she wouldn't stray. The guy even came to visit us one time when the separation was over. He was a nice guy. So, I guess I do see a lot of myself in Brian, and it doesn't strike me as odd or unrealistic.

    My son was the same way through 4 years of separation with his high school sweetheart who at one point talked to him about dating other guys while apart at different colleges. He didn't seem to overly stress over it, and that phase wore off for her, and they've been married 15 years now.

    Yes, this is anecdotal evidence and may not represent the norm, but so what? Maybe they are unrealistic to you and won't appeal to a mass audience, but again, I say, so what? I'm not writing for a mass audience, but mainly for myself and my wife, and if other people also enjoy it, that's great, but I'm not in it for mass appeal. I do, however, always welcome suggestions, and often take many of them if I think it will improve the writing, if not the personality of the characters.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Good
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Not that I have to say, but this chapter went well... for a while, but what was with the joke? I didn't read one. No wonder it failed. Still, it seems Daniel will get another shot.
P.S. - I have and remain puzzled asking how is that a joke. No wonder Daniel slipped a knot. I am glad Julia and Brian are in tune.

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 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
    You may want to go back and read it in chapter 15, where it was originally told by Brian to Julia. I mentioned that in the notes, but I know you don't usually read the notes.
reply by Tom Horonzy on 13-Aug-2024
    ... but I do occasionally, read the notes, and I will I think return to 15 to reconnoiter my memory for if its your joke it's likely a doozie.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
    It's a pretty good one. My dad used to tell it, and he was hysterical telling it (or pantomiming it, I should say.)

    The punchline isn't necessarily that funny, and it may lose something just written out, but if you see it acted out well, it's a riot.
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
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For certain, Daniel botched that joke big time. But as we saw, that wasn't his only problem. He'll get the hang of it (we all eventually).

Good in between chapter for now as I try to wrap my head around Daniel and/or Kimikos involvement in the story moving forward!

Good work,
John

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 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
    Daniel and Kimiko will have a definite role to play near the end of the story, which won't be evident until then. Glad you enjoyed this one, John.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You earned the six stars for making it clear how badly Daniel ruined that joke, which is a very good joke by the way. Poor Daniel has so much to learn about Americanisms. Komiko must have a somewhat better grasp of them since she did see the humor in the joke, or maybe the humor in how badly Daniel messed it up.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
    I'm just wondering if you remembered the joke from earlier or you went back and reread it in chapter 15? I probably should have put it in its entirety down in the author notes.

    Thanks for the great review and the 6 stars, Carol.
reply by Carol Hillebrenner on 13-Aug-2024
    I pretty much remembered it, but it is gone now. That wouldn't happen to someone reading the book unless they had to set it aside for several days.