Echoes of Youth
bittersweet nostalgia of childhood14 total reviews
Comment from jessizero
I loved this "ABC" poem for the contest. It really captured the innocence of childhood play. I also loved your rhymes. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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I loved this "ABC" poem for the contest. It really captured the innocence of childhood play. I also loved your rhymes. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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Thank you!!
Comment from Catherine Deslippe
Your poem makes me think of my younger days. Magical moments spend with my sisters and I. How we loved to make wishes and blowing dandelions. Thank you for writing such a wonderful poem, memories of our youth. Well done
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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Your poem makes me think of my younger days. Magical moments spend with my sisters and I. How we loved to make wishes and blowing dandelions. Thank you for writing such a wonderful poem, memories of our youth. Well done
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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Thank you!!
Comment from patcelaw
This is very nicely written and I enjoyed it very much. I enjoyed your rhyming with. It is very good. It flows very well when it is read aloud and I wish you the very best with all of your writing. God bless you. Pat.I
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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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This is very nicely written and I enjoyed it very much. I enjoyed your rhyming with. It is very good. It flows very well when it is read aloud and I wish you the very best with all of your writing. God bless you. Pat.I
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2024
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Thank you!!
Comment from SimianSavant
Nice rhyme schematic. The artwork seems a bit maudlin with the overlayed leaves; maybe you could use your own pic or have AI do one for you?
The text might benefit from more attention to the visual presentation (colors, fonts). I would suggest changing the text in your last line: "memory's sight". Making an abstract noun possessive seems like a little bit of a stretch, and makes the reader have to think hard, when you're trying to make them FEEL. Here are some ideas for alternatives:
echos resonating in the night
echos of our youth long lost from sight
Thanks for the read,
SS
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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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Nice rhyme schematic. The artwork seems a bit maudlin with the overlayed leaves; maybe you could use your own pic or have AI do one for you?
The text might benefit from more attention to the visual presentation (colors, fonts). I would suggest changing the text in your last line: "memory's sight". Making an abstract noun possessive seems like a little bit of a stretch, and makes the reader have to think hard, when you're trying to make them FEEL. Here are some ideas for alternatives:
echos resonating in the night
echos of our youth long lost from sight
Thanks for the read,
SS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback! I was actually in the process of reworking the last line when your review came through, so your suggestions were timely and very helpful. I appreciate your insight on the visual presentation and will definitely consider your advice on the artwork and text layout.