2024 Gypsy's Prose
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Eastern Winds".
15 total reviews
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, gypsy. I hope you are well.
I know what you mean. My mother was extremely abusive. Mommy dearest didn't come close to the abuse we suffered.
So for many years, I hated my mother. Then I realize that she was mentally ill and couldn't help when she had done. They didn't make good meds for bipolar people back then.
Like you, I forgave my mother. I think that that's the best way to go because otherwise you spend time thinking about all the hurtful things.
woulda coulda shoulda
It took me a long time to trust anybody. The piece of mind is the nicest thing
Here Why not say on the weekends
" In the weekends he took us "
Here. Either eastern
winds sweep or eastern wind sweeps
" eastern winds sweeps
dead leaves off her driveway "
I enjoyed reading your poem
M
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
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Hi, gypsy. I hope you are well.
I know what you mean. My mother was extremely abusive. Mommy dearest didn't come close to the abuse we suffered.
So for many years, I hated my mother. Then I realize that she was mentally ill and couldn't help when she had done. They didn't make good meds for bipolar people back then.
Like you, I forgave my mother. I think that that's the best way to go because otherwise you spend time thinking about all the hurtful things.
woulda coulda shoulda
It took me a long time to trust anybody. The piece of mind is the nicest thing
Here Why not say on the weekends
" In the weekends he took us "
Here. Either eastern
winds sweep or eastern wind sweeps
" eastern winds sweeps
dead leaves off her driveway "
I enjoyed reading your poem
M
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
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Thank you, thank you, Pam. I appreciate your help with grammar. I don't know why I get prepositions confused. Thank you for your excellent review and kind words. I'm sorry your mother was abusive to you. My step mother was just mean, a terrible human being.
Comment from royowen
Such a pity, if somryjing happened in their marriage or financial circumstance, one doesn't stop being a parent, no matter what age they, same with our grandchildren, but I'm glad you forgave your dad, and blessed yourself, and love, him, a gigantic step, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
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Such a pity, if somryjing happened in their marriage or financial circumstance, one doesn't stop being a parent, no matter what age they, same with our grandchildren, but I'm glad you forgave your dad, and blessed yourself, and love, him, a gigantic step, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Roy,
Gypsy
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Most welcome
Comment from lyenochka
Of course, I always love learning more about you. You gave a gracious portrait of your father through your eyes as a young girl, a hurt, abandoned teen, and a forgiving, understanding woman. I was told that the prose part of a haibun is usually in the present tense and much more brief. But I think it works.
my dad went a long with her (along)
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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
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Of course, I always love learning more about you. You gave a gracious portrait of your father through your eyes as a young girl, a hurt, abandoned teen, and a forgiving, understanding woman. I was told that the prose part of a haibun is usually in the present tense and much more brief. But I think it works.
my dad went a long with her (along)
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Comment Written 30-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much , big sister ❤️
Haibun is richly varied, in matter and technique. It's a vast genre and only marginally explored by foreigners. Most westeners are not familiar with classic haibun. Haibun can be written in present or past tense. It can be a couple of sentences with one haiku, to long journals with intermitent haiku added at the end of each complete scene.
Japanese poet, Master Matsuo Basho, made haiku and haibun popular in the 17th century. He traveled most of his adult life and wrote haiku and haibun all throughout his journey. Japanese people consider his haibun, "The Narrow Road to the Deep North", the best in their history. It was a travel journal with long entries and haiku in between each section
Love
Marival
Comment from Erika Whittle
This is beautiful. I love the combination of prose with poetry. One typo at the end of your prose: stoped should be stopped.
Though you definitely have a right to be angry, I think you made a good choice in letting go. At some point, anger hurts you more than the other person.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
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This is beautiful. I love the combination of prose with poetry. One typo at the end of your prose: stoped should be stopped.
Though you definitely have a right to be angry, I think you made a good choice in letting go. At some point, anger hurts you more than the other person.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Erika, I appreciate your exceptional six stars, kind words, and help with my spelling typo.
Gypsy hugs
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np :)
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your writing of forgiveness and enduring love for your father shines through. You do a wonderful job of sharing the complexity of relationships in a family. I also liked how you showed the strength found in forgiveness. This poem beautifully shares your personal journey through adversity towards a place of acceptance. Wonderfully crafted writing and poem!
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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
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Your writing of forgiveness and enduring love for your father shines through. You do a wonderful job of sharing the complexity of relationships in a family. I also liked how you showed the strength found in forgiveness. This poem beautifully shares your personal journey through adversity towards a place of acceptance. Wonderfully crafted writing and poem!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Michael, I appreciate your excellent five stars and kind words,
Gypsy