In the Rainbow
My love for you alters my perception16 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very interesting pretty expected that you have ever loved one when you're laying on the bed with him and I enjoyed reading it. May you find that your rainbows many days. Patricia
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
  |
This is a very interesting pretty expected that you have ever loved one when you're laying on the bed with him and I enjoyed reading it. May you find that your rainbows many days. Patricia
Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
-
Thanks for your review, Patricia.x
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Heather
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
Often find it difficult to review these very small palms. I think it's because there's so small that there's almost nothing to say about them. There's no grammatical error. There is some beautiful scenery and love. You use descriptive words. You had a surprise ending.
The first line says eyes on his face. The third line says a circle rainbow is on his face.it is fine the way it is but mentioning face again sounds odd to me. Because why wouldn't she have noticed the rainbow when she first looked at his face?
You could say in the first line 'my eyes on your eyes'
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
|
Hi, Heather
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
Often find it difficult to review these very small palms. I think it's because there's so small that there's almost nothing to say about them. There's no grammatical error. There is some beautiful scenery and love. You use descriptive words. You had a surprise ending.
The first line says eyes on his face. The third line says a circle rainbow is on his face.it is fine the way it is but mentioning face again sounds odd to me. Because why wouldn't she have noticed the rainbow when she first looked at his face?
You could say in the first line 'my eyes on your eyes'
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
-
I also find it difficult to review these short poems. Thanks for making me notice I meant to write head in the last line. I hate redundancy. x
Comment from royowen
An excellent entry in this contest, it's a marvellous thing to be married, we have great conversations in the bedroom and strengthens our marriage, beautifully written, good luck blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
|
An excellent entry in this contest, it's a marvellous thing to be married, we have great conversations in the bedroom and strengthens our marriage, beautifully written, good luck blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
-
Thanks for your review, Roy. x
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, a circling rainbow! How does it circle the person you claim to love? It sounds impossible to achieve yet here it is circling your love.
I love the large print size and the thoughtful word usage that means so much to me and all the rest here at FS.
Jesse
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
|
Wow, a circling rainbow! How does it circle the person you claim to love? It sounds impossible to achieve yet here it is circling your love.
I love the large print size and the thoughtful word usage that means so much to me and all the rest here at FS.
Jesse
Comment Written 21-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
-
Thanks so much for reading and for your review, Jesse.
Comment from lyenochka
Very cool! I liked how you addressed the loved one by showing the gestures and movements of the narrator and how they impact him/her and affects how the loved one is viewed! Hoping this does well in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
|
Very cool! I liked how you addressed the loved one by showing the gestures and movements of the narrator and how they impact him/her and affects how the loved one is viewed! Hoping this does well in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
-
Thanks so much for your review, Helen. x
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Still stunning us with your original and thought-provoking verse, Maria! You know just how to make your reader sit up and dream with you in glorious technicolour. It's always fascinating and very philosophical to question how we see things compared to others. And I'm going to look for that rainbow now:) Well done and good luck! Debbie xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
|
Still stunning us with your original and thought-provoking verse, Maria! You know just how to make your reader sit up and dream with you in glorious technicolour. It's always fascinating and very philosophical to question how we see things compared to others. And I'm going to look for that rainbow now:) Well done and good luck! Debbie xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024
-
Thanks for this very kind review, Debbie. xxx