Reviews from

Tanka (defying the odds)

Tanka

23 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

They certainly do become warrior plants when they struggle through the pavement cracks. Your Tanka describes it well, Steve, defying the odds, fighting for survival.
Enjoyed your poem and wish you luck in the contest.
cheers.
valda

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Thanks, Valda. Of course I could have added the irony that these warrior plants often seem to thrive more than the bought and paid for variety planted and tended in the best potting mix!

    Steve
Comment from nancyjam
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Steve. I enjoyed reading your wonderful entry to the Tanka contest.
I do think nature wins out every time and hopefully keeps winning far into our future. Good luck in the contest.
Nancy

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Thanks, Nancy. It's a fact that any place that's left unattended for a few years certainly surrenders to Mother Nature.

    I also like the irony that these warrior plants often seem to thrive more than the bought and paid for variety planted and tended in the best potting mix!
Comment from Dawn Munro
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well, it would surprise me if your tanka poem were anything less than extraordinary -- yep, I am a big fan of your work -- this is a perfect example of WHY. (It is a flawless tanka, as taught to me by Ray, aka mountaineer... NOT an easy poetry format!) Best of luck!!!

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Ah, yes, I remember Ray. Another one of our stars gone too soon.

    Thank you for the kind words. I am never too sure about Tanka, but I read a few from a book before tackling this one and just let my imagination doo the rest, although it was something of an arm-wrestle as to which line should go where.

    Steve
Comment from Neonewman
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Brilliant entry for this Tanka contest, my friend. It is captivating and the artwork pairs perfectly. I love short works such as this when they come through strong. Great job!
Thank you for sharing.
God bless,
Steve

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Hey, Steve. How are you?

    Thanks for the kind words. I've written quite a few Tanka, without ever really thinking I'd got the hang of them, but this one feels pretty good to me.

    Extra thanks for the extra star - much appreciated.

    Steve
reply by Neonewman on 19-Jun-2024
    It's my pleasure, and you definitely have the hang of them. I'm taking a stab at a novel, Dodie Rae. It's been getting great reviews, and Rachelle Allen has been such a blessing.
    God bless
    Steve
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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I really enjoyed this Tanka poem about defying the odds. I don't usually comment on short poems, but this one struck home with me.

I've always loved stories of those who fight the odds and thrive among the concrete deserts of life. From Howard Roark in The Fountainhead to Martin Luther King, to Donald Trump today. Now, he certainly doesn't shine with the beauty of the flower in your picture (he's more like a weed, perhaps a thistle), but it's his willingness as a Washington outsider to defy the way Washington does business--to be a warrior against the entrenched bureaucracy and bring a businessman's commonsense approach to government and getting results--that is so off-putting in that miasma called Washington.

I'm sure you didn't have that in mind when you wrote this, but that's one thing I took from it. - Jim

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Ah, Jim. Thanks for the kind words, but then you went and spoiled it all by suggesting that Donald Trump had any kind of redeeming qualities at all. As for the businessman's common sense, you do know about his multiple bankruptcies and his conviction for business fraud, don't you?

    Steve
reply by Jim Wile on 19-Jun-2024
    I do, but no businessman that does the wheeling and dealing he does isn't going to have a few failures, made much of in the press to the exclusion of his successes. The fact that he's a billionaire several times over shows that, on balance, he must be doing something right with his businesses.

    Don't get me wrong: He's a sleazeball and certainly has many personality flaws--petulance, tactless, childish, insulting--but as an effective president, there's no comparison to Joe Biden.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Your contest entry sort of reminds me of a move. Darn!! I can't remember the name of it. I hate when my brain does that. It was 'Wall E'. Anyway, I did enjoy reading and want to wish you luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Yes, Wall-E was something of an eco-warrior, wasn't he? I guess my favourite image/phrase from the poem is 'peaceful warrior.' It's a strong oxymoron but very apt in the context.

    Thanks for reviewing.

    Steve

    Steve
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Excellent
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A peaceful warrior, a solitary flower fights for our future is all that needs to be said in this tanka. Nobody else puts it so eloquently. Where else but a concrete jungle can a warrior fight for our survival?
Nowhere else, that is the answer to this age-old question.
Thanks for putting it so well, my friend.
Jesse

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Thanks, Jesse.

    I guess my favourite image/phrase from the poem is 'peaceful warrior.' It's a strong oxymoron but very apt in the context.

    Steve
reply by Jesse James Doty on 19-Jun-2024
    Yes, Steve, it works very well in the poem's context.
    Jesse
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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-Nice artwork and presentation, Steve.
-A well written tanka with a good topic.
-The opening lines establish the premise.
-A very good pivot line.
-Very good concluding lines with a
good message about how many living
things, like the flower, as well as
humans have to fight for our planet's future.
-Effective repetition of the 'f' sound at the end, as well.
-A good entry; good luck!

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Hi, Pam. Thanks for the always thorough review.

    Steve
reply by Pam (respa) on 19-Jun-2024
    You are welcome, Steve.
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent
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A beautiful sentiment in a beautiful poem. I've seen similar flowers grow out from a rock crevice and appreciate the tenacity of their survival giving one hope for our future.

A wonderful Tanka Steve. Great artwork and presentation.
Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Hi, Janet. Many thanks for the kind words. Such plants are like little miracles, aren't they?

    I also like the irony that these warrior plants often seem to thrive more than the bought and paid for variety planted and tended in the best potting mix!

    Steve
Comment from phill doran
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Steve,
Yes, I recall a green fuse rising out of a gutter in a house in Venice, many years ago; all around was decay, but there was the flower, just about to open. And, on a beach in Mozambique, miles from anywhere, with a solitary flower being investigated by a bee. How it found it in that vastness well that's the trick, isn't it, one that plays out despite our constant intervention. Turning sand into honey.
I trust that you and yours are fit and well.
All the best with the contest, you've had a good run, why not this one too?
cheers

phill
If it was up to me (which, of course, it is not) it'd be 'the' planet's future, rather than 'our'. I think a sense of possession is one of the problems...

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
    Hi, Phill - it sounds like you are a well-travelled man! I'm more accustomed to tropical areas where there is greenery everywhere!

    I take your point about 'the' versus 'our' but like it or not, it is the only plane 'we' have - oops! There's that possessive again, although the poem itself suggest that Mother Nature is more the possessor and controller than man.

    And yes, thanks for asking, my other half and I are both relatively well considering our advanced age. We are about to celebrate fifty years wed by embarking on a little road trip to visit some parts of the North Island that neither of us have ever seen before. Aotea, Whanganui and Mount Maunganui if you want to roll out Google Earth!

    As for my 'run', not a bad strike rate, I admit. More quality than quantity, though. I don't think I've even earned a ranking for this year yet!

    Here's mid-year best wishes back to you. Where did those six months go?!

    Steve