Adventure on the River
Two Friends have a afternoon of misadventure .16 total reviews
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
I'm not going down there. If I'd known this is where you were going, I wouldn't have come. Besides, that water looks awfully shallow. I thought this was where people come for white water rafting. You go ahead. I'll put the window down and sit here in the car and read. I brought a book and some magazines.
Awesome
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
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I'm not going down there. If I'd known this is where you were going, I wouldn't have come. Besides, that water looks awfully shallow. I thought this was where people come for white water rafting. You go ahead. I'll put the window down and sit here in the car and read. I brought a book and some magazines.
Awesome
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024
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Thank you Nicole. I appreciate the review and you saying my screne play was awesome. It was based on what actually happened to me and my friend Margaret. I was the one that lost the shoe and ruined the camera.
Comment from Begin Again
A bit of Thelma and Louise. LOL I could picture the scene unfolding perfectly and actually would have enjoyed joining them. Good job!
Note:
glances up for her (from)
The ladies star climbing (start)
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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A bit of Thelma and Louise. LOL I could picture the scene unfolding perfectly and actually would have enjoyed joining them. Good job!
Note:
glances up for her (from)
The ladies star climbing (start)
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Thank you Carol. I appreciate the review. It is actually the story of my friend Margaret and I. I 'm Vanessa in the story. I did lose the shoe and camera never worked again.
Beth
Comment from Bill Schott
Vanessa and Peggy are a funny pair and remind me of a Laverne and Shirley combo of adventurer and go-a-longer. The dialogue is funny and fits the characters.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Vanessa and Peggy are a funny pair and remind me of a Laverne and Shirley combo of adventurer and go-a-longer. The dialogue is funny and fits the characters.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Thank you Bill, I 'm glad you from this amusing. Thank you for the review.
Beth
Comment from JanPerry
Hello Beth. I like your picture. Typos: delete "a"first paragraph. Vanessa Parker - should be (an) animal print. It's always an before a vowel coming next.
There's no need to put the actions into brackets. It's a script so there will be action commentary.
It's okay to use it's instead of it is, to take a shortcut. The ladies (start) climbing out of the water etc.
I like your pace, it's very relaxing. Your script looks professional.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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Hello Beth. I like your picture. Typos: delete "a"first paragraph. Vanessa Parker - should be (an) animal print. It's always an before a vowel coming next.
There's no need to put the actions into brackets. It's a script so there will be action commentary.
It's okay to use it's instead of it is, to take a shortcut. The ladies (start) climbing out of the water etc.
I like your pace, it's very relaxing. Your script looks professional.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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Thank you jan. I appreciate the review and comment as well as the help with the word an. I know the rule but often overlook it when I proof it.
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No problem Beth
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Huh??????????????????????????????????????????????????
I hope you had fun that day, and of the two which were you?
Who had the better looking legs, and did she use film or was it computerize camera?
i.d.k. - sometimes we write for the fun of it.
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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Huh??????????????????????????????????????????????????
I hope you had fun that day, and of the two which were you?
Who had the better looking legs, and did she use film or was it computerize camera?
i.d.k. - sometimes we write for the fun of it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Yes, I was Vanessa and It happened just the way it was written. Neither of our legs would be likely to win a bathing beauty contest.
I was rather upset about my camera. It was a digital but not water proof.
Beth
Comment from Wendy G
Lol. Were you Vanessa, by any chance? I am just glad they both got out of this escapade safely. Very well written story - one had to keep reading to find out!
Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Lol. Were you Vanessa, by any chance? I am just glad they both got out of this escapade safely. Very well written story - one had to keep reading to find out!
Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Yes I was Vanessa. I'm not very good fiction. Tha women was always getting us into trouble. Thanks sfor the review.
Beth
