Silent Voices
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Sunrise at the Dock"Verses of personification
30 total reviews
Comment from Nicki.B
This is just beautiful. Capturing both sunrise and sunset in such beautiful context. The rhyme is done splendidly, my favourite line is, 'Embrace this gift of dawn and given time,
As though it might escape tomorrow's hold' . Such a beautiful message that we truly need to be reminded of. Well done, most enjoyable
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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This is just beautiful. Capturing both sunrise and sunset in such beautiful context. The rhyme is done splendidly, my favourite line is, 'Embrace this gift of dawn and given time,
As though it might escape tomorrow's hold' . Such a beautiful message that we truly need to be reminded of. Well done, most enjoyable
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from Shanbreen
I love your message of living for the moment. The poem has a rhyming scheme making it flow well. The only thing, from my point of view, is to be a little less forceful, using a softer tone (less of a command) in relaying your message -- "Surrender not a moment to the clock" which sounds like someone preaching to me. But that is just my opinion.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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I love your message of living for the moment. The poem has a rhyming scheme making it flow well. The only thing, from my point of view, is to be a little less forceful, using a softer tone (less of a command) in relaying your message -- "Surrender not a moment to the clock" which sounds like someone preaching to me. But that is just my opinion.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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Thank you! Xo
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This is quite lovely. The picture is a wonderful choice. It illustrates the poetry quite well. This is purely cosmetic, but I think a light tan would be a better fit for the matting. The whisper of blue in the white is offputting in my opinion. And, you know what they say... Opinions are like assholes everybody has one.
Grand writing nonetheless. Karen
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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This is quite lovely. The picture is a wonderful choice. It illustrates the poetry quite well. This is purely cosmetic, but I think a light tan would be a better fit for the matting. The whisper of blue in the white is offputting in my opinion. And, you know what they say... Opinions are like assholes everybody has one.
Grand writing nonetheless. Karen
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much, Karen! Xo
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:-)
Comment from Mark Jackson
Your sonnet beautifully captures the fleeting nature of time and the importance of embracing the present moment. The imagery of twilight giving way to the golden hues of dawn paints a vivid picture of transition and renewal. The contrast between gazing towards the future and cherishing the beauty of the present is thoughtfully portrayed. Overall, it's a well-crafted piece that encourages readers to savor the moments they have rather than being consumed by what lies ahead.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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Your sonnet beautifully captures the fleeting nature of time and the importance of embracing the present moment. The imagery of twilight giving way to the golden hues of dawn paints a vivid picture of transition and renewal. The contrast between gazing towards the future and cherishing the beauty of the present is thoughtfully portrayed. Overall, it's a well-crafted piece that encourages readers to savor the moments they have rather than being consumed by what lies ahead.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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I appreciate that, Mark, thank you! Xo
Comment from nomi338
For me, one of the most enjoyable experiences of welcoming a new day is the realization that I am alive to witness the dawn of a new day. It Is blessing, and I am reminded of such and like to give thanks for this gift.
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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For me, one of the most enjoyable experiences of welcoming a new day is the realization that I am alive to witness the dawn of a new day. It Is blessing, and I am reminded of such and like to give thanks for this gift.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Thank you, Nomi xoxo
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You are so very welcome, I enjoyed it very much.
Comment from lyenochka
A lovely sonnet abut the importance taking time to meditate and reflect and appreciating the sunrise each day. I especially liked the concluding couplet.
Best wishes in the contest!
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A lovely sonnet abut the importance taking time to meditate and reflect and appreciating the sunrise each day. I especially liked the concluding couplet.
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
Comment from Brenda Strauser
This is a very pretty poem. It gives a lot of description about sunrise. The picture goes well with the words. Good luck in the contest. We'll written.
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This is a very pretty poem. It gives a lot of description about sunrise. The picture goes well with the words. Good luck in the contest. We'll written.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
Comment from RJ Heritage
This is a beautiful sonnet. It is well written and timed which gives it an easy flow. The subject is also breathtaking and is enhanced by the colors which are rich, but also delicate just enough to make the atmosphere feel nostalgic. This was an easy six star for me to give. Well done.
RJ
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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This is a beautiful sonnet. It is well written and timed which gives it an easy flow. The subject is also breathtaking and is enhanced by the colors which are rich, but also delicate just enough to make the atmosphere feel nostalgic. This was an easy six star for me to give. Well done.
RJ
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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That means the world to me. Thank you! Xo
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You are very welcome
RJ
Comment from Wendy G
Very beautiful, very lyrical and with an important message. (My only thing was that I thought twilight was the last period before nightfall rather than early morning. I could well be wrong.) I loved your poem and hope it wins. Best wishes.
Wendy
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Very beautiful, very lyrical and with an important message. (My only thing was that I thought twilight was the last period before nightfall rather than early morning. I could well be wrong.) I loved your poem and hope it wins. Best wishes.
Wendy
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Thank you so much, Wendy xoxo
Comment from Shirley Ann Bunyan
This is an absolutely beautiful sonnet. Perfect in its structure, delightful in its naturally flowing metre and rhyme incorporating superb imagery, meaning and integrity. Did I say I loved it?!!
Lovely x
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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This is an absolutely beautiful sonnet. Perfect in its structure, delightful in its naturally flowing metre and rhyme incorporating superb imagery, meaning and integrity. Did I say I loved it?!!
Lovely x
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Shirley, you made my day! Thank you!
Xoxo
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You absolutely deserve it, my angel. You are a superb writer. I hope you're getting your work 'out there' apart from Fanstory. Don't wait as long as I did xx