Living On The Edge
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Living On The Edge - Chap 19"The blending of good and evil.
15 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
I love the way you have this shaping up, so that the reader is anticipating a big blow-up and surprises for Chief Richard Harrison. Little-by-little his world will come tumbling down. Layla has an attorney, Jake shows up, and the mayor has already heard Garth's take on the situation. Troy and Alyssa will be the icing on the cake for Harrison.
What will the reunion be like when Layla sees Alyssa? Will it trigger Alyssa's memory? I'll wait and see. As usual, I enjoyed this chapter.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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I love the way you have this shaping up, so that the reader is anticipating a big blow-up and surprises for Chief Richard Harrison. Little-by-little his world will come tumbling down. Layla has an attorney, Jake shows up, and the mayor has already heard Garth's take on the situation. Troy and Alyssa will be the icing on the cake for Harrison.
What will the reunion be like when Layla sees Alyssa? Will it trigger Alyssa's memory? I'll wait and see. As usual, I enjoyed this chapter.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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I hope I did the ending right for everyone. I think the two chapters 20 and 21 were the hardest to write, making sure I tied all the loose ends and put a bow on it.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Heather Heino
Hi there! First of all, let me say, I very much enjoyed reading this excerpt from your story. (As I'm assuming that is what this is meant to be. I am new to Fan Story and already made that mistake once when someone was writing a script, and I thought it was supposed to be a story. Lol.) I found your story both engaging and interesting. However; if I might make one suggestion, I would recommend describing the scenery around your characters, the characters, and where they are in a little bit more detail. When I write stories, I tried to write it in a way as if I were explaining to a blind person what was happening in detail. Obviously you don't need to go that in depth, but it helps to paint a clear picture for the reader. I found myself struggling at times to fully see the setting in my mind, what the characters were wearing, their body language, etc. with the details I was given. In some parts you did a great job explaining. I just think maybe adding some more of those details would overall improve the quality of the story. But otherwise, I loved it, and keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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Hi there! First of all, let me say, I very much enjoyed reading this excerpt from your story. (As I'm assuming that is what this is meant to be. I am new to Fan Story and already made that mistake once when someone was writing a script, and I thought it was supposed to be a story. Lol.) I found your story both engaging and interesting. However; if I might make one suggestion, I would recommend describing the scenery around your characters, the characters, and where they are in a little bit more detail. When I write stories, I tried to write it in a way as if I were explaining to a blind person what was happening in detail. Obviously you don't need to go that in depth, but it helps to paint a clear picture for the reader. I found myself struggling at times to fully see the setting in my mind, what the characters were wearing, their body language, etc. with the details I was given. In some parts you did a great job explaining. I just think maybe adding some more of those details would overall improve the quality of the story. But otherwise, I loved it, and keep up the great work!
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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Hello, Heather, and welcome to FanStory.
I appreciate you reading and commenting on my story. It is a chapter from a mystery crime story I have been writing. If it interests you, or you need member cents to post your work, Chapters 17 and 18 are still listed and have more than ninety cents each.
I would also be interested in hearing your thoughts on the story, given that you would have more information. I'm writing the final chapter, so you've come in on the tail end.
I appreciate your suggestions and will consider them when I rewrite it before publishing.
Please stop by again, and I wish you luck in your writing.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from patcelaw
As I watch you writing this book, I am sure you're going to make it by the end of the month to where you have a completed book for the contest. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. I have truly been enjoying the story. Patricia .
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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As I watch you writing this book, I am sure you're going to make it by the end of the month to where you have a completed book for the contest. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. I have truly been enjoying the story. Patricia .
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you again for reading and enjoying the book. Two chapters and its over.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
I had a feeling you couldn't end this with one more. As much as I'm dying to hear Richard get what's coming, take you time, but hurry up. lol I hate to see it end but it needs to end right. Isn't there a word requirement for this contest?
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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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I had a feeling you couldn't end this with one more. As much as I'm dying to hear Richard get what's coming, take you time, but hurry up. lol I hate to see it end but it needs to end right. Isn't there a word requirement for this contest?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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It's finished but I had to do one long chapter and one not quite as long. The story just didn't want to end. LOL
Thanks so much, Beth.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Terry Broxson
Carol, I'm sorry I'm out of sixes for this chapter. The hammer is about to come down on the chief. I do like Garth, and he is an excellent character. I am looking forward to the end. Excellent. Terry.
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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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Carol, I'm sorry I'm out of sixes for this chapter. The hammer is about to come down on the chief. I do like Garth, and he is an excellent character. I am looking forward to the end. Excellent. Terry.
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Comment Written 18-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024
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A virtual six is more than welcomed. I am thrilled you enjoyed it. I'm hoping to wrap it up with the next chapter, but one never knows. I might hold off since several of my followers haven't caught up yet, but that's to be determined. I'll see how it goes. Thank you again for your awesome comments and for continuing to read. I know the chapters are long but I hope the content is worth it.
Smiles, Carol
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It's not too long, reads well.
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Thank you so much. I worry about the length but it seems to flow well. Still got a few things to wrap up so we will see if it fits in one or two chapters. If it goes to two, the last won should be short.
Have a great day! Smiles, Carol
