Living On The Edge
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Living On The Edge - Chap 18"The blending of good and evil.
17 total reviews
Comment from Terry Broxson
Carol, well danged if you didn't work in a little romance in the chapter. Although I suppose technically it was romance interruptus...stay tuned.
I got a feeling there is a comeuppance for the Chief. Well done. Terry.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
Carol, well danged if you didn't work in a little romance in the chapter. Although I suppose technically it was romance interruptus...stay tuned.
I got a feeling there is a comeuppance for the Chief. Well done. Terry.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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I think you are right! And of course, a brief romance is fun. Thank you so much for enjoying this chapter and the book in general. I am thrilled. I especially appreciate your reviews because you didn't no my style, but enjoyed it every day. Thanks again.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
If you ever wanted to make this into a full-length novel, you could easily do it by filling in the scenes more...draw out the interrogation, the twitterpation in the atrium etc. I understand your goal/limitations for this challenge, but I could see this easily expanded without needing any more plot.
Great as always!
Julie :-)
and the Calvary is going to (cavalry)
"It's about time." His jaw dropped as he stared at a corridor of stern-looking FBI officers. (Misplaced tag. Who said that? If it was the FBI, then put that adjacent to the quote, not his jaw)
My Mommy didn't raise no dummy (mommy. Only cap in place of a name: Mommy said... but, my mommy said...)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
If you ever wanted to make this into a full-length novel, you could easily do it by filling in the scenes more...draw out the interrogation, the twitterpation in the atrium etc. I understand your goal/limitations for this challenge, but I could see this easily expanded without needing any more plot.
Great as always!
Julie :-)
and the Calvary is going to (cavalry)
"It's about time." His jaw dropped as he stared at a corridor of stern-looking FBI officers. (Misplaced tag. Who said that? If it was the FBI, then put that adjacent to the quote, not his jaw)
My Mommy didn't raise no dummy (mommy. Only cap in place of a name: Mommy said... but, my mommy said...)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Julie...That's exactly what I would like to do. It's at about 42000 words now. I need to go back to the beginning and edit. If you have suggestions, feel free to jump right in. I just had one male reader say that my men don't talk like men normally would. ????? Fixed and thank you.
Smiles, Carol
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I hadn't really picked up on the men thing except your former gangsters are maybe a little softer than I would expect...because I have SO much experience with gangsters!
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My gangster are soft for a reason...but then I never revealed it. I've had my share of the dark side of the Italians.... I'd rather not go there. Thanks!
Comment from lancellot
This is a strong chapter and well written and edited. I am a bit concerned about how the male characters relate to each other and how deep their emotional conversations are. I know on FanStory that is the norm, but I don't think men speak and act that way in real life, women yes, but not men. Something to think about.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
This is a strong chapter and well written and edited. I am a bit concerned about how the male characters relate to each other and how deep their emotional conversations are. I know on FanStory that is the norm, but I don't think men speak and act that way in real life, women yes, but not men. Something to think about.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Nice to know that from a man's point of view. Since this old lady hasn't hung out with any men lately, I am up for any suggestions that will improve it. Thanks for reading and for making suggestions.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, Carol!!! That was not a nice place to stop at. Now I have to wait until....Tomorrow??? Alyssa is going to find out about Troy before he can tell his side of it. I'm just hoping that the FBI will come up trumps, But I have to admit, I wasn't expecting them to be called to police department. This is so frustrating! I hope Troy gets his happy ending with the lady he loves! Loving this, my friend, it's up to your usual very high standards. Well done. Now, do me a favour, and get the next part finised post haste! Lol, love and hugs, my clever friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
Oh, Carol!!! That was not a nice place to stop at. Now I have to wait until....Tomorrow??? Alyssa is going to find out about Troy before he can tell his side of it. I'm just hoping that the FBI will come up trumps, But I have to admit, I wasn't expecting them to be called to police department. This is so frustrating! I hope Troy gets his happy ending with the lady he loves! Loving this, my friend, it's up to your usual very high standards. Well done. Now, do me a favour, and get the next part finised post haste! Lol, love and hugs, my clever friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Thanks for catching all three chapters, Sandra. I appreciate it very much. I haven't thought about starting the last chapter...I think it will be sad to have it done. Isn't that crazy?
I'm sure I'll find something to do...LOL
Smiles, hugs and all my love, Carol
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So long as you keep writing, Carol. It's good for you, and for us!
PM me a update. Love you lots. xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Since Garth is at the police station, I am guessing only really good stuff is going to happen and all of these lies are going to be ended. I can only hope, right? Naw, it's going to happen.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
Since Garth is at the police station, I am guessing only really good stuff is going to happen and all of these lies are going to be ended. I can only hope, right? Naw, it's going to happen.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Garth is tossing out his lasso and has the bull by his horns. The next one should tie it all together and our cowboy will ride off into the sunset. I don't know what I will do with myself. A book in two weeks.... It was fun! Thanks for always being there for me and supporting me. Congratulations again on finishing your story and for getting one publish. How awesome is that!!!
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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This s a great story. I couldn't write one in two weeks.
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I needed to work out things in me...My family was at it again. So I wrote in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. Then as I neared the end, the story made me excited too. Silly writer enjoying her own work....
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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Don't let your families drama define who you are.
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I'm fighting it hard this time, but thank you so much for always caring.
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Put in God's hands and let Him handle it. It's not your rodeo.
Comment from BethShelby
This chapter feels short. Maybe I just want it to be a lot longer and not leave me hanging on. just when every is starting to unravel and you leave us hanging and wanting more.
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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
This chapter feels short. Maybe I just want it to be a lot longer and not leave me hanging on. just when every is starting to unravel and you leave us hanging and wanting more.
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Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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It's 2300 words so I will take that as a compliment. I believe the next chapter will be the final one. It's been a blast writing and I am thrilled you have enjoyed it. Thanks so much, Beth.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was well written. I like how your writing is developing the characters. The tension of Troy of his feelings for Alyssa is a good example. As is her feelings for him. The story is filled with tension and suspense. This was an enjoyable and well written chapter!
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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
I thought this was well written. I like how your writing is developing the characters. The tension of Troy of his feelings for Alyssa is a good example. As is her feelings for him. The story is filled with tension and suspense. This was an enjoyable and well written chapter!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
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Thank you for stopping by again, Michael. You missed the one I posted earlier this morning, but I do appreciate your review and the kind thoughts. Glad you enjoyed!
Smiles, Carol