Living On The Edge
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Living On The Edge - Chap 9"The blending of good and evil.
19 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I read this out of order and quicky so I could fully understand the previous post that I did read. This is very good. You're going a great job. I am really liking this story, but I haven't found a boyfriend yet, not like Garth. LOL
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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I read this out of order and quicky so I could fully understand the previous post that I did read. This is very good. You're going a great job. I am really liking this story, but I haven't found a boyfriend yet, not like Garth. LOL
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Jake is close maybe but he's not Garth. I'll have to resurrect him .... good ole Garth and Hank - though could have eaten too many pastries by now. Thanks so much, Barbara
Smiles, Carol
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I am wondering about Jake. I thought maybe. I'll let you know later. LOL
Comment from Terry Broxson
So, the Police Chief shows his true colors; we knew he would, and so does Antonio, but we also knew he was a bad guy, but then Jake also showed his true colors, and of course, we liked him. Good chapter. Terry.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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So, the Police Chief shows his true colors; we knew he would, and so does Antonio, but we also knew he was a bad guy, but then Jake also showed his true colors, and of course, we liked him. Good chapter. Terry.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Yes, we are sorting out the good from the bad...slowly but surely. thank you for reading another chapter. I appreciate your kindness and your time.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, I'm breathing hard, Carol, I had to take my inhaler. This is serious! I'm glad Jake has her, he knows Troy is innocent, and her knows Layla's sister thinks he's guilty, but now Allie is missing, and I'm worried, but in the back of my mind, I feel I don't need to be. Well, my friend. I think I'm all caught up. This is fabulous!! You're a natural at this. Now to wait a short while for the next chapter, and I'll have my next batch of sixes! Well done!!!! Love and hugs. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Oh, I'm breathing hard, Carol, I had to take my inhaler. This is serious! I'm glad Jake has her, he knows Troy is innocent, and her knows Layla's sister thinks he's guilty, but now Allie is missing, and I'm worried, but in the back of my mind, I feel I don't need to be. Well, my friend. I think I'm all caught up. This is fabulous!! You're a natural at this. Now to wait a short while for the next chapter, and I'll have my next batch of sixes! Well done!!!! Love and hugs. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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It's been a pleasure to write again and not be weighed down by the "family stuff". I just know I want to complete this within the guidelines. Thank you again...Carol
Comment from patcelaw
I am so glad that I was able to listen to this wonderful part of the story. I wish you the very best with all of your writing I see you're moving along quite well I'm getting your book accomplished, and I wish you the very best in that endeavor. Patricia .
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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I am so glad that I was able to listen to this wonderful part of the story. I wish you the very best with all of your writing I see you're moving along quite well I'm getting your book accomplished, and I wish you the very best in that endeavor. Patricia .
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much, Patricia. I am thankful that you are enjoying it. Appreciate the time and the review.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Carol, I always enjoy your shrewd I d and talent...
I'm not sure I'm a fan of this contest...
30,000 words in thirty days pretty much makes the muse a union laborer.
There seems to be little time to "breathe" as you are forced by time constraints to keep pressing forward.
Your plot is as good as ever.
I just wish you were not forced to go without sleep and write under pressure.
Karenina
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Carol, I always enjoy your shrewd I d and talent...
I'm not sure I'm a fan of this contest...
30,000 words in thirty days pretty much makes the muse a union laborer.
There seems to be little time to "breathe" as you are forced by time constraints to keep pressing forward.
Your plot is as good as ever.
I just wish you were not forced to go without sleep and write under pressure.
Karenina
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
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Hello, dear Karenina
It's in the middle of the night and this story is spinning in my head....I accepted a challenge and it's one I believe I can complete, but at what emotional risk...Now doesn't that sound dramatic! Wasn't meant to be but I've discovered and I whip out a story in nothing flat, but I think I lose the finer parts, the special little moments, etc because there is no time for leading up to frivolties. I must always be pushing the plot forward. I'm not enjoying that. Sorry to be babbling to you about this but I needed to say...to make myself understand what I'm losing by writing this so quickly. my characters are racing so fast...much like life now days. I want them to slow down and smell the roses. Enough nonsense...I need to sleep. Maybe I;ll figure it out when I can think clearer. If any of this made sense, let me know. LOL
Good night! Even the bedbugs can't bite because I can't stay in one place long enough....LOL
Comment from Julie Helms
You have an amazing mind, Carol, that you can create all these twisting storylines! This is very complex.
through the allies, (alleys)
he's out, and damned (no comma)
She needed a starting point, a plan.
She decided to start with (I'd change up one of your 'starts')
she asked to be transferred to another., (no period)
She was a reporter (I think Layla would say, she is a reporter)
staring as if it were a snake ready to strike (staring at it as if... Maybe?)
That's the man I know it is (a period or exclamation point between 'man I')
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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You have an amazing mind, Carol, that you can create all these twisting storylines! This is very complex.
through the allies, (alleys)
he's out, and damned (no comma)
She needed a starting point, a plan.
She decided to start with (I'd change up one of your 'starts')
she asked to be transferred to another., (no period)
She was a reporter (I think Layla would say, she is a reporter)
staring as if it were a snake ready to strike (staring at it as if... Maybe?)
That's the man I know it is (a period or exclamation point between 'man I')
Julie :-)
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Thank heavens one us has a brain working. I am exhausted but I've corrected the errors and I thank you for being the eagle eye. I hope I can finish this. Added pressure because I have to travel out of state and need to be done before I go. Wish me luck,
Smiles, Carol
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Oh, you are doing all of the thinking! I'm just doing a little tidying up lol! When I wrote my novel, I averaged 1000 words per week. You are nothing short of amazing! Best of luck on your trip. :-)
Comment from Esther Brown
Moving in wrong order...oops. Had to work for a couple of days at my real job. I missed a few. Never did like police chief because he felt like a scum bag. You keep me guessing...especially since I read in wrong order.
Esther
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Moving in wrong order...oops. Had to work for a couple of days at my real job. I missed a few. Never did like police chief because he felt like a scum bag. You keep me guessing...especially since I read in wrong order.
Esther
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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I see you read chapter 9 and then went backqards to chap 6...I wouldn't be able to follow the story either doing it that way. Thanks for the review.
Smiles, Carol
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Much clearer when I re-read them in order...smiles back. I feel guilty giving 5 stars to you and ran out of 6 star options. I tried to review some other things but honestly I am not very good at reviewing. I read the guidelines but if the story is really bad I see too many errors and don't want to discourage someone so skip it. If it is too good (like yours) I cannot slow my pace then only note where I got lost.
That is probably as nutsy as the review sounded. Frown.
Still have questions about how to use this site. Simple one, it looks like I can go back and edit or promote. Does that opportunity go away when it is off the posting?
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No, you can change it except for sixes. I just was surprised with the fours...But it's perfectly fine if that's what you meant to do. I just thought because you read them out of order you might have gotten confused, I know I am.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Your story is moving fast. IT seems like Layla is getting her self in way to deep. This isn't your first story with two sisters with one trying to rescue the other. I wonder if at some point we will learn why brothers like William an Troy are at odds with each other. Mayby Troy wouldn't turn into a dirty cop like William and so he made him the scape goat and not he is planning to do it again to send him back to prison. I glad you're posting often trying to finish before the end of March.
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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Your story is moving fast. IT seems like Layla is getting her self in way to deep. This isn't your first story with two sisters with one trying to rescue the other. I wonder if at some point we will learn why brothers like William an Troy are at odds with each other. Mayby Troy wouldn't turn into a dirty cop like William and so he made him the scape goat and not he is planning to do it again to send him back to prison. I glad you're posting often trying to finish before the end of March.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Troy knew something was fishy about Sandra's death so Richard had to get rid of him or ruin his whole future plans. I'm not sure about this writing a novel in thirty days. You have to cram so much in in order to get the entire story done. I guess we see what happens.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
What a fast-paced chapter! You are on fire, and I admire how you can keep track of all these diverse characters. Brilliant writing!
Wendy
Edit?:Some computer gremlins in the second one
Newspaper clippings of murdered prostitutes
A photo with several prostitutes -- a circle around the woman in red
Several pictures of a knife
A cloudy picture of a man in a dark bar -- ball cap on his head and drink in hand â?" A bar sign on the wall
A closeup of the man's right hand -- he has a tattoo (a cross and a serpent)
Did you want full stops here for all these? (or maybe not, because they are in a list?)
Also, there is a repeated sentence: "Tommy, your soul is filled with hate. Stop this craziness before you end up lying on a cold slab in the morgue." Stop this craziness before you're lying on a cold slab in the morgue."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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What a fast-paced chapter! You are on fire, and I admire how you can keep track of all these diverse characters. Brilliant writing!
Wendy
Edit?:Some computer gremlins in the second one
Newspaper clippings of murdered prostitutes
A photo with several prostitutes -- a circle around the woman in red
Several pictures of a knife
A cloudy picture of a man in a dark bar -- ball cap on his head and drink in hand â?" A bar sign on the wall
A closeup of the man's right hand -- he has a tattoo (a cross and a serpent)
Did you want full stops here for all these? (or maybe not, because they are in a list?)
Also, there is a repeated sentence: "Tommy, your soul is filled with hate. Stop this craziness before you end up lying on a cold slab in the morgue." Stop this craziness before you're lying on a cold slab in the morgue."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
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Fixed and fixed I hope!
Thanks so much for catching those gremlins. They hate me! I was fixing the one sentence and somehow I put the fixed one and the other one there too. Great catch!
Thank you again for reading, enjoying and helping me.
Smiles, Carol
