Coffee With Iris
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Mothering Mode"Two opposites meet and connect.
21 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Some people blurt out whatever's on their minds, including things we more times than not would rather not know. Then, others have to take time to get comfortable before sharing. And yes, then too, most tell us more than we'd like to hear. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
Some people blurt out whatever's on their minds, including things we more times than not would rather not know. Then, others have to take time to get comfortable before sharing. And yes, then too, most tell us more than we'd like to hear. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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I hear painfully private info daily. Very hard to be shocked anymore. Lol. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Hmm, I'm sure he will tell her, and then she can confide in him. Two people who need each others support. Age has no barrier when it comes to being a true friend. I'm enjoying this new story, Gretchen. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
Hmm, I'm sure he will tell her, and then she can confide in him. Two people who need each others support. Age has no barrier when it comes to being a true friend. I'm enjoying this new story, Gretchen. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, Sandra. I'm glad you're giving it a go. Gretchen
Comment from John Ciarmello
Hi! I'm sure I missed a lot and am trying to return slowly. I loved this story as it strikes me as super original.
However, I wouldn't expect anything less from you. Will this be a continuation story, Gretchen? Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
Hi! I'm sure I missed a lot and am trying to return slowly. I loved this story as it strikes me as super original.
However, I wouldn't expect anything less from you. Will this be a continuation story, Gretchen? Best, JohnC
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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There is only one chapter before this. Called Meeting Iris. Yes. This is a novella. Written last year and completed before I rejoined Fanstory. Thank you so much for this great review. Gretchen
Comment from jmdg1954
Gretchen:
I like the pace of the story and the softness in how you are writing it. It could be one of those Hallmark movies.
You are stirring up some uncertainties which will be intriguing. I'm sure these will develop in following chapters.
One small typo (I think?):
He smiles as he hooks the lead (leash) to the dog's collar.
I'm enjoying the reading.
John
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
Gretchen:
I like the pace of the story and the softness in how you are writing it. It could be one of those Hallmark movies.
You are stirring up some uncertainties which will be intriguing. I'm sure these will develop in following chapters.
One small typo (I think?):
He smiles as he hooks the lead (leash) to the dog's collar.
I'm enjoying the reading.
John
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you, John for catching the spag. I even read it three times last night before posting and missed it. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for the Hallmark compliment, but I don't always have happy endings and I use too many naughty words. Lol. Gretchen
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Fine natural dialogue here as this guy is pressed for information about his life and the two of them break the ice over coffee, much enjoyed and a good start to the story Gretchen, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
Fine natural dialogue here as this guy is pressed for information about his life and the two of them break the ice over coffee, much enjoyed and a good start to the story Gretchen, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank-you. I appreciate it. Chapter 3 goes back to Jameson's point of view. Gretchen
Comment from Wendy G
Intriguing. And of course I want to know more and sense that all is not well with his wife. Very well written, Gretchen. I like your style!
Wendy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
Intriguing. And of course I want to know more and sense that all is not well with his wife. Very well written, Gretchen. I like your style!
Wendy
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thanks, Wendy. I like your style too. Lol. Gretchen
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
So, you have used a rather predictable device to distinguish Jameson and Iris given their ages, technology. The mothering of Iris for them, and of Jameson for Heston is sweet. However, you seem to have a problem with the 'you lost me at computer' There is nothing technological in the 'It's sitting in front of a computer about six hours a day. Not my dream job' you might want to change this to add some gobbldygook IT speak in. kay
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
So, you have used a rather predictable device to distinguish Jameson and Iris given their ages, technology. The mothering of Iris for them, and of Jameson for Heston is sweet. However, you seem to have a problem with the 'you lost me at computer' There is nothing technological in the 'It's sitting in front of a computer about six hours a day. Not my dream job' you might want to change this to add some gobbldygook IT speak in. kay
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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I thought about that, but decided not to go into detail about his computer work. Later in a future chapter he gives a little more info but he just met Iris. But thank you for the feedback. Gretchen
Comment from Douglas Goff
Interesting piece of work. I think the characters are strong and the dialogue is solid.
One minor catch:
"I'll pay you back,"
(Switch the comma to a period)
Thanks for sharing!
D
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
Interesting piece of work. I think the characters are strong and the dialogue is solid.
One minor catch:
"I'll pay you back,"
(Switch the comma to a period)
Thanks for sharing!
D
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thanks for catching that. I'm glad you liked it. Gretchen
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Great story!
Comment from Jay Squires
It was nice to get into Iris' head this time and have a lead on Jameson, who's trying to figure her out. Wow, her meds are sure expensive. More than likely, she has a serious illness. I don't remember what she did before retiring, or whether she's of independent means. Two hundred bucks is a hefty amount to budget into Social Security income. (I live nicely on 400 bucks a month, though my other expenses I don't see since my wife pays the bills.)
Now, over to Jameson ....
Jay
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
It was nice to get into Iris' head this time and have a lead on Jameson, who's trying to figure her out. Wow, her meds are sure expensive. More than likely, she has a serious illness. I don't remember what she did before retiring, or whether she's of independent means. Two hundred bucks is a hefty amount to budget into Social Security income. (I live nicely on 400 bucks a month, though my other expenses I don't see since my wife pays the bills.)
Now, over to Jameson ....
Jay
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Iris does okay. Two hundred for certain name brand drugs is pretty common. Insurance doesn't like name brands. Lol. Any how, keep me posted on how you feel about this. I want your honest opinion. You, Jay, are my barometer of writing. Gretchen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is just as interesting when it is from Iris's POV. It is interesting that she has guessed he is married. He doesn't deny it, so is she assuming the dog is their child?
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
This is just as interesting when it is from Iris's POV. It is interesting that she has guessed he is married. He doesn't deny it, so is she assuming the dog is their child?
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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In the first chapter he tells her he has a little boy. That's how she knows. Thanks for this great review. Gretchen