The Pier
The Pier holds so many memories.29 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Congratulations on Milestone Post 50! You have written a good example of a Rhyming poetry entry. The text is an okay size but could be larger with your large visual. The message is clearly stated and easy to understand. You have great layered details in your poem. I like that the first and last lines mention the Pier. The poem needs to be better spaced in the poem box. Drop the first line down one or two spaces. Go under the last line and hit backspace once. This should create a better balance of spacing around your poem.
The visual fits perfectly. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Congratulations on Milestone Post 50! You have written a good example of a Rhyming poetry entry. The text is an okay size but could be larger with your large visual. The message is clearly stated and easy to understand. You have great layered details in your poem. I like that the first and last lines mention the Pier. The poem needs to be better spaced in the poem box. Drop the first line down one or two spaces. Go under the last line and hit backspace once. This should create a better balance of spacing around your poem.
The visual fits perfectly. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Sandra,
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my poem. Thanks also for your suggestion in respect to spacing. I will give it a go.
Take care and have a great day. I nevere thought I would get to 50 posts.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
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You are most welcome. Posting and entering contests can be addictive. On to the new 50!
Comment from Eleri
This is a lovely mournful poem that rhymes well throughout - well done. The rhythm is fine but there are a few 'shortish' lines that jar on me very slightly and I don't think that you need an initial capital for 'pier' . Having said all of that, I do like this poem so good luck with it
Eleri
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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This is a lovely mournful poem that rhymes well throughout - well done. The rhythm is fine but there are a few 'shortish' lines that jar on me very slightly and I don't think that you need an initial capital for 'pier' . Having said all of that, I do like this poem so good luck with it
Eleri
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Eleri,
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my poem.Glad you enjoyed it. It is one of my personal favourites.
Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold
Comment from jenintorre
I love this poem. You paint the perfect picture with your well chosen and well rhymed words. So nostalgic.
I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Jen.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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I love this poem. You paint the perfect picture with your well chosen and well rhymed words. So nostalgic.
I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Jen.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Jen,
Wow. Six stars. Thanks very much for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it. It is one ofmy personal favourites as well.
Please take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Mintybee
The rhyme scheme in your rhyming poem is steady. The flow is good. The images are clear as your detailed descriptions bring the pier to life. I'd change one word. You say the poster is flopping. I think flapping might be better to describe a poster. I like how you end the poem with the pier's days coming to and end, but the sea lasting.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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The rhyme scheme in your rhyming poem is steady. The flow is good. The images are clear as your detailed descriptions bring the pier to life. I'd change one word. You say the poster is flopping. I think flapping might be better to describe a poster. I like how you end the poem with the pier's days coming to and end, but the sea lasting.
Mintybee
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem. Also thanks for your suggestion as to the word change. I will very seriously consider the change.
Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from papa55mike
It's incredible how fast those peirs disappeared when everything went to the malls. What a wonderfully written poem.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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It's incredible how fast those peirs disappeared when everything went to the malls. What a wonderfully written poem.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 21-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Mike,
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it. One of my personal favourites. Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Barry, congratulations on reaching a milestone.
An exceptional piece that gave both life and death to a rusting pier. Great descriptions both the haunting sounds of the past and, the slow death of the pier taken by time and the sea.
Best regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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Barry, congratulations on reaching a milestone.
An exceptional piece that gave both life and death to a rusting pier. Great descriptions both the haunting sounds of the past and, the slow death of the pier taken by time and the sea.
Best regards,
Mary
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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Mary,
Thanks so much for the six stars. I always get excited when someone gives me a six star review. I have a real thing for Piers, no matter where they are. They all have their own eco systems. You have a great day and take care.
I never thought I would get to the 50 posts. Now have to set my sight on 100.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from estory
I thought it was an evocative piece that brought us back to those long cherished moments on those boardwalks of youth; Coney Island and Myrtle Beach, Jeanettes Pier and places like that. Those sounds of the pier groaning and creaking really brought the moment to life. We all have memories of those creaks and groans as the waves moved under us, on our journey through arcades and midway rides, with the proverbial cotton candy wand in our hands. Your piece reminded me of Jack Anderson's Mysterious Sound poem. estory
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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I thought it was an evocative piece that brought us back to those long cherished moments on those boardwalks of youth; Coney Island and Myrtle Beach, Jeanettes Pier and places like that. Those sounds of the pier groaning and creaking really brought the moment to life. We all have memories of those creaks and groans as the waves moved under us, on our journey through arcades and midway rides, with the proverbial cotton candy wand in our hands. Your piece reminded me of Jack Anderson's Mysterious Sound poem. estory
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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Thanks for your review of my poem. I am glad you enjoyed it. Piers, no matter where they are, have their own eco- system. Fascinated by them I will now go to search out Jack Andersons Mysterious Sound Poem.
Take care and have a great day.
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This poem brings to the mind so many memorable pictures. You've created a variety of images, some familiar to me and some, not so much. Your use of alliteration adds to the beauty of the poem. A poem you can think about long after you've read it is outstanding.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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This poem brings to the mind so many memorable pictures. You've created a variety of images, some familiar to me and some, not so much. Your use of alliteration adds to the beauty of the poem. A poem you can think about long after you've read it is outstanding.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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Thanks so much Verna. A six star review is always a surprise but also very welcome. This poem is one of my favourites. I am just fascinated by Piers.
Have a great day and take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from royowen
It's such a sad indictment on piers allows to deteriorate, it a sort indication and metaphor for a life that once held so much optimism and forward looking to the lost dreams unfulfilled. Beautifully written Barry, in skilful Ballad style, with abcb rhyming, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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It's such a sad indictment on piers allows to deteriorate, it a sort indication and metaphor for a life that once held so much optimism and forward looking to the lost dreams unfulfilled. Beautifully written Barry, in skilful Ballad style, with abcb rhyming, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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Thanks Roy,
One of my favourite poems. I have many memories of piers and all are positive.
You take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
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Me too
Comment from Kaiku
Nice. I like it. Nice rhythm and rhyme. As I was reading it took me to an episode of The Blacklist that was filmed at an off-season New Jersey beach sprawling beach house with pier and all. Thanks. Good luck in the prompt.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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Nice. I like it. Nice rhythm and rhyme. As I was reading it took me to an episode of The Blacklist that was filmed at an off-season New Jersey beach sprawling beach house with pier and all. Thanks. Good luck in the prompt.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my contest entry. Glad you enjoyed it.I enjoyed writing it. Please take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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yep
