Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Football Chapter 35 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
29 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
People can act so ugly sometimes. I have no love or respect for any man who would abuse the woman/women in his life, be it his wife or his daughters. To me, these men are cowards who find it easier to be abusive rather than to be man enough to accept that things will not always go their way. This is a very interesting plot development and I am curious to see how it will pan out over the remaining rest of the story.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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People can act so ugly sometimes. I have no love or respect for any man who would abuse the woman/women in his life, be it his wife or his daughters. To me, these men are cowards who find it easier to be abusive rather than to be man enough to accept that things will not always go their way. This is a very interesting plot development and I am curious to see how it will pan out over the remaining rest of the story.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I missed a lot from your story, but I am happy that those two are in the lovy-dovy phase, and this Gabe it's a man I would like to have arround:) Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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I missed a lot from your story, but I am happy that those two are in the lovy-dovy phase, and this Gabe it's a man I would like to have arround:) Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. I'm glad you dropped by. I've missed you and your writing.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
High time for a sssssseries bonussssss. Patience wasn't required--this grabbed and held me all the way--the interactions never fail to be believable--the characters are three-dimensional. Cheerssssss. LIZ
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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High time for a sssssseries bonussssss. Patience wasn't required--this grabbed and held me all the way--the interactions never fail to be believable--the characters are three-dimensional. Cheerssssss. LIZ
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and the support.
Comment from lancellot
Your structural writing is good and so is your pacing. I would recommend that you be careful of how much of a victim you want your protagonist to be. To avoid this, I sometimes write them out to be aware of the problems or things I have done to them. Just saying: Now Kate was also beaten by her husband and the kids saw it.
Remember you're writing a romance novel.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Your structural writing is good and so is your pacing. I would recommend that you be careful of how much of a victim you want your protagonist to be. To avoid this, I sometimes write them out to be aware of the problems or things I have done to them. Just saying: Now Kate was also beaten by her husband and the kids saw it.
Remember you're writing a romance novel.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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I know the genre I'm writing about. All of this plays into how careful Katherine is with Gabriel. Hmm, go figure. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
Believe it or not, I coached track back in the late 70s/early 80s. Fortunately, the coaches in our district were very much into helping all athletes be the best they could be; however, when we got to regionals it became more like what you wrote about. I am going to try to go back and read the chapters I missed but I likely will not review them.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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barbara:
Believe it or not, I coached track back in the late 70s/early 80s. Fortunately, the coaches in our district were very much into helping all athletes be the best they could be; however, when we got to regionals it became more like what you wrote about. I am going to try to go back and read the chapters I missed but I likely will not review them.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from Wendy G
The plot continues to maintain the interest. I don't mind the length - to me it is fine. There is a typo "breath" should be "breathe" (verb needed), but otherwise finely written with authentic characters. The risk of Kate getting a punch made Gabe wonder about the past - an abusive relationship with her dead husband. Makes one realise her ex in-laws probably have similar nasty streaks.
Wendy
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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The plot continues to maintain the interest. I don't mind the length - to me it is fine. There is a typo "breath" should be "breathe" (verb needed), but otherwise finely written with authentic characters. The risk of Kate getting a punch made Gabe wonder about the past - an abusive relationship with her dead husband. Makes one realise her ex in-laws probably have similar nasty streaks.
Wendy
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and I have made the correction.
Comment from BethShelby
This was an interesting chapter. It is apparent that Gabriel is determined to take care of Katherine, making sure she eats and stepping in when it appears she is about to be in the middle of a student brawl. News comes out from the boys that her deceased husband was abusive. I known the upsets Gabriel. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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This was an interesting chapter. It is apparent that Gabriel is determined to take care of Katherine, making sure she eats and stepping in when it appears she is about to be in the middle of a student brawl. News comes out from the boys that her deceased husband was abusive. I known the upsets Gabriel. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from BethShelby
This was an interesting chapter. It is apparent that Gabriel is determined to take care of Katherine, making sure she eats and stepping in when it appears she is about to be in the middle of a student brawl. News comes out from the boys that her deceased husband was abusive. I known the upsets Gabriel. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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This was an interesting chapter. It is apparent that Gabriel is determined to take care of Katherine, making sure she eats and stepping in when it appears she is about to be in the middle of a student brawl. News comes out from the boys that her deceased husband was abusive. I known the upsets Gabriel. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from Jay Squires
Another fine chapter, Barbara. Say ... I'm just curious: how many words has this grown to? It's well over 100K.
As Gabriel started to call Jordan over, Katherine rushed into the gym. "Coach, we're loading the bus. Just wanted to remind you to text and let me know you made it safely." [I'm sure it's me, but this has me confused. It seems like Gabriel is leaving, or why should he be texting her when he arrives?]
When Katherine received the text she searched the stands until she saw Gabriel and waved. [Mystery solved.]
"Come on, breath. We'll do this together." [Believe it should be "breathe"]
[I'm noticing that every since "I snapped an order. He motioned for both girls to follow as he headed toward the other coach," everything has been in italics to the very end. Is there a reason for this?]
"Not really. Kate was abused at least once and in front of the boys. If it happened once, it happened before." [I'm kind of concerned about Gabriel confessing information to Paul (Even though they are friends) that Katherine had not even shared with him. He had to learn it from Jordan. It really leaves me with a "loose lips" feeling about Gabriel. Just something to think about.]
Good chapter!
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Another fine chapter, Barbara. Say ... I'm just curious: how many words has this grown to? It's well over 100K.
As Gabriel started to call Jordan over, Katherine rushed into the gym. "Coach, we're loading the bus. Just wanted to remind you to text and let me know you made it safely." [I'm sure it's me, but this has me confused. It seems like Gabriel is leaving, or why should he be texting her when he arrives?]
When Katherine received the text she searched the stands until she saw Gabriel and waved. [Mystery solved.]
"Come on, breath. We'll do this together." [Believe it should be "breathe"]
[I'm noticing that every since "I snapped an order. He motioned for both girls to follow as he headed toward the other coach," everything has been in italics to the very end. Is there a reason for this?]
"Not really. Kate was abused at least once and in front of the boys. If it happened once, it happened before." [I'm kind of concerned about Gabriel confessing information to Paul (Even though they are friends) that Katherine had not even shared with him. He had to learn it from Jordan. It really leaves me with a "loose lips" feeling about Gabriel. Just something to think about.]
Good chapter!
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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It seems like Gabriel is leaving, or why should he be texting her when he arrives?] Gabriel is going to the track meet. He's texting to let her know he made it safely, reason, him and Bill required the ladies do it at away football games.
I have fixed the italics issue. Also on the first day they were introduced Paul filled Gabriel in on Katherine, so I think it's would seem natural. Paul has already told him much about the marriage, so Paul might have known, but he did not. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, as always!
Comment from Begin Again
Awesome, Barbara! You touched on so many subjects with the girls and the fights (most think of hot-tempered boys and their testosterone but girls can do it too, And then there is the in-laws and the possibility that the in-laws are behind Ivory's shenanigans. But the best part is how Gabriel has stayed on an even keel and draws closer nad closer to the boys. Very well done.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Awesome, Barbara! You touched on so many subjects with the girls and the fights (most think of hot-tempered boys and their testosterone but girls can do it too, And then there is the in-laws and the possibility that the in-laws are behind Ivory's shenanigans. But the best part is how Gabriel has stayed on an even keel and draws closer nad closer to the boys. Very well done.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and support.