The Poppy Bleeds
A Shakespearean Sonnet for the contest45 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Warren
The poppies are lovely, but I get the impression this is about more than flowers. The one who could save your life with a smile must be human. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2020
  |
The poppies are lovely, but I get the impression this is about more than flowers. The one who could save your life with a smile must be human. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2020
-
Thanks, Cindy. I appreciate your comments. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from dragonpoet
Tony
You did well with this sonnet using imagery and metaphor describing by the pain of unrequited love and how easily it can be assuaged.
Did you mean ship-wrecked?
Happy Thanksgiving
Joan
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2020
|
Tony
You did well with this sonnet using imagery and metaphor describing by the pain of unrequited love and how easily it can be assuaged.
Did you mean ship-wrecked?
Happy Thanksgiving
Joan
Comment Written 26-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2020
-
Thanks, Joan. I appreciate your comments. I actually meant shit-wrecked i.e. wrecked by drugs. However, several have commented saying they think that destroys the general tone of the sonnet, so I have changed it to shipwrecked. All good wishes to you, too, for a happy Thanksgiving. Keep safe. Tony
-
My pleasure, Tony. I think you made the right choice with the correction.
Joan
Comment from Taurus the Elder
Very good. Strong imagery in your words. Technically sound, good rhyme scheme, strong ending, and supported by beautiful art work. One comment, your second to the last line did you mean to use "shit" or should it be ship? None the less, Great job.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2020
|
Very good. Strong imagery in your words. Technically sound, good rhyme scheme, strong ending, and supported by beautiful art work. One comment, your second to the last line did you mean to use "shit" or should it be ship? None the less, Great job.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2020
-
Thanks, Taurus. I appreciate your comments. I had intended that he was wrecked by drugs i.e. shit-wrecked. However, several reviewers have suggested that shipwrecked would be better, so I've taken advice and changed it. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Raoul D'Harmental
Hi tfawcus
This is a very strong entry into the sonnet poetry contest. Very whimsical and reflective too. I wish you all the very best and good luck! R
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
|
Hi tfawcus
This is a very strong entry into the sonnet poetry contest. Very whimsical and reflective too. I wish you all the very best and good luck! R
Comment Written 26-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
-
Thank you very much for your review, Raoul. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Gloria ....
At first I thought this fine sonnet was about an opium-induced nod that had left a hapless fellow stoned and wrecked by the side of a road somewhere.
But on a second read I saw that it is only about a flower growing alone among the rocks and while death is near due to a geographical mishap, a passing stranger's smile might just be the thing to perk up the poppy. Such is the joy of poetic ambiguity. I actually had to search your sonnet to find that nowhere was the word nod even mentioned, so how did that enter my thoughts I wonder? Poetic magic.
A fine sonnet in every way, Tony and I wish you great luck with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
|
At first I thought this fine sonnet was about an opium-induced nod that had left a hapless fellow stoned and wrecked by the side of a road somewhere.
But on a second read I saw that it is only about a flower growing alone among the rocks and while death is near due to a geographical mishap, a passing stranger's smile might just be the thing to perk up the poppy. Such is the joy of poetic ambiguity. I actually had to search your sonnet to find that nowhere was the word nod even mentioned, so how did that enter my thoughts I wonder? Poetic magic.
A fine sonnet in every way, Tony and I wish you great luck with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 26-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
-
A nod is as good as a wink, and your review better than either of them. I appreciate the good luck wishes for luck certainly helps! LOL
All good wishes,
Tony
Comment from Reese Turner
Good rhyme and meets the sonnet rules as I know them, but I must ask, do you really mean "I'm shit-wrecked, on the rocks..."? Would ship-wrecked be more accurate? Just asking for a friend....
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
|
Good rhyme and meets the sonnet rules as I know them, but I must ask, do you really mean "I'm shit-wrecked, on the rocks..."? Would ship-wrecked be more accurate? Just asking for a friend....
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
-
Thanks for your review, Reese. Yes, I did mean 'shit-wrecked', as in being wrecked by drugs. However, so many have commented adversely on it that I have now changed it to the more conventional 'shipwrecked', which probably carries sufficient metaphorical weight.
All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image, Tony.
-This is an interesting
topic for a sonnet, and you
write it well with effective,
meter, imagery, and rhyme.
-This person seems to be
living in an alternate world,
where he is one with the poppies!
-A good volta that shows he
has glimpses of what might have been.
-The contrast is good in
the closing couplet.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
|
-Nice image, Tony.
-This is an interesting
topic for a sonnet, and you
write it well with effective,
meter, imagery, and rhyme.
-This person seems to be
living in an alternate world,
where he is one with the poppies!
-A good volta that shows he
has glimpses of what might have been.
-The contrast is good in
the closing couplet.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
-
Thanks for the review, Pam. He?s definitely a bit spaced out! LOL
-
You are welcome, Tony, I guess he is!
Comment from estory
You had a great, dreamy effect in this sonnet, a languid sense of drifting off in a poppy induced dream. That line about the echoes evokes the memories of the past and past relationships, past loves. In the end, there is a pleading to get back together in that closing couplet, a wish to end the distance. estory
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
|
You had a great, dreamy effect in this sonnet, a languid sense of drifting off in a poppy induced dream. That line about the echoes evokes the memories of the past and past relationships, past loves. In the end, there is a pleading to get back together in that closing couplet, a wish to end the distance. estory
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
-
Thanks for your comments about the atmospheric effect of my poem, estory. Appreciated. Great to hear that my intention was successful. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Ulla
Hi Tony, I loved to read your wonderful Shakespearean sonnet. It is by far my favourite poetic form, and you didn't disappoint me. However I was a bit surprised about 'shit-wrecked'. ship-wrecked I could understand, but shit-wrecked? Well English is not my first language. Good luck. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
|
Hi Tony, I loved to read your wonderful Shakespearean sonnet. It is by far my favourite poetic form, and you didn't disappoint me. However I was a bit surprised about 'shit-wrecked'. ship-wrecked I could understand, but shit-wrecked? Well English is not my first language. Good luck. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
-
Thanks, Ulla. You?re right that there?s no such word as shit-wrecked. I was trying to express the idea that he had been wrecked by drugs (colloquially 'shit') because of the siren?s wiles! A pun on the sailor?s fate of being shipwrecked on the rocks (ie a drug addict and stony broke)
-
Ah, I see. That does make sense. Very well thought out.
Comment from Mistydawn
What a lovely poem. Remembering all the fond memories and it took you to where you are today. How something as simple as a smile brings those memories back. Your poem is well-written, very interesting, warm with a hint of sadness. I do wonder if your next to the last line has a slight typing error?
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
|
What a lovely poem. Remembering all the fond memories and it took you to where you are today. How something as simple as a smile brings those memories back. Your poem is well-written, very interesting, warm with a hint of sadness. I do wonder if your next to the last line has a slight typing error?
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
-
Thanks, Dawn. The last couplet was intended, though perhaps inappropriate. I was trying to express the idea that he had been wrecked by drugs (colloquially 'shit') because of the siren?s wiles! A pun on the sailor?s fate of being shipwrecked on the rocks (ie a drug addict and stony broke)
