CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 146 "Warmth Lies Dormant"A collection of poetry
131 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Very nice 5-7-5, with a contrast/comment.
My favorite words were "blanches" and "consumes" and I enjoyed the alliteration as well.
I thought you chose a great black and white picture to illustrate your minimalist poem. The title, although not traditional for haiku, was good for the purposes of FS.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Very nice 5-7-5, with a contrast/comment.
My favorite words were "blanches" and "consumes" and I enjoyed the alliteration as well.
I thought you chose a great black and white picture to illustrate your minimalist poem. The title, although not traditional for haiku, was good for the purposes of FS.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Joan, thank you so much for your most generous review and for your comments. So glad you highlighted the words you liked, also. Kindest regards, Sue
Comment from adewpearl
this is fantastic - what a great concrete image of the cold winter whitening/blanching the landscape, consuming the color of autumn into its whiteness - this is really good! and then the thoughtful satori - I'm blown away
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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this is fantastic - what a great concrete image of the cold winter whitening/blanching the landscape, consuming the color of autumn into its whiteness - this is really good! and then the thoughtful satori - I'm blown away
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Brooke, thank you very much for your great review. So happy you liked it! Now, I'm humbled.........yours, Sue
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I am NOT usually a haiku fan - they usually leave me flat - and once in a blue moon one just works! this is the one
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Brooke, I am so glad you wrote, because I was going to write you!
This is the first Haiku I've ever written (I only learned what a haiku was yesterday)!!!
AHHHH!!! Showing my absolute ignorance here!
But, when I saw the contest, I read what was required and loved the challenge. Was not difficult for me to find a subject, since it's very cold today. Ha! But, I just closed my eyes and felt it. I think I love Haiku now.
And to hear your most uplifting comments...........I am now speechless..........
Sue
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Brooke, I am so glad you wrote, because I was going to write you!
This is the first Haiku I've ever written (I only learned what a haiku was yesterday)!!!
AHHHH!!! Showing my absolute ignorance here!
But, when I saw the contest, I read what was required and loved the challenge. Was not difficult for me to find a subject, since it's very cold today. Ha! But, I just closed my eyes and felt it. I think I love Haiku now.
And to hear your most uplifting comments...........I am now speechless..........
Sue
Comment from dportwood
Sixteezkid,
This 5-7-5 haiku is well presented with the necessary elements. The bleakness of the message blend well with the bleakness of the artwork. Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Sixteezkid,
This 5-7-5 haiku is well presented with the necessary elements. The bleakness of the message blend well with the bleakness of the artwork. Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Duane, I want to thank you for reading my poem and for your most generous review. With regards, Sue
Comment from wierdgrace
such a bluntlt well said to the point haiku. this looks like a flood, bad weather, and so many other changes the weather can bring on us and the earth. thank you for sharing. great writing, good luck.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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such a bluntlt well said to the point haiku. this looks like a flood, bad weather, and so many other changes the weather can bring on us and the earth. thank you for sharing. great writing, good luck.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Hello again. I am so happy to hear your uplifting comments! (My first haiku and I'm so happy I did it)....And I appreciate your very generous review. With regards, Sue
Comment from MJMuraco
This was a beautiful Haiku poem. I have never attempted to write such a short piece. The artwork goes perfectly and helps relay the message. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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This was a beautiful Haiku poem. I have never attempted to write such a short piece. The artwork goes perfectly and helps relay the message. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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My first try at this, also! It was so challenging and fun! Thank you so much for your very generous review and I'm glad you liked the image. With regards, Sue
Comment from CARoseKlix
Winter's bite blanches,
consuming autumn's colors.
The ground waits for spring.
I like your haiku. It is in the traditional 5,7,5 syllable mode. The picture illustrates the lines very well. Here we've just experienced this "turn of the season".
Blessings.
Rose
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Winter's bite blanches,
consuming autumn's colors.
The ground waits for spring.
I like your haiku. It is in the traditional 5,7,5 syllable mode. The picture illustrates the lines very well. Here we've just experienced this "turn of the season".
Blessings.
Rose
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Hello Rose. I have never written haiku before. But when I saw the contest, I could not resist the challenge! Ha! It's turned very cold here so it didn't take me long to find a "subject". I really appreciate your uplifting comments and generous review. With regards, Sue
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You are welcome.
Rose
Comment from smokyeye
I understand the picture you are trying to paint,but this is missing the emotion behind it. The first 2 lines are vivid with verbs such as bite which isn't quite right. The last line is passive
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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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I understand the picture you are trying to paint,but this is missing the emotion behind it. The first 2 lines are vivid with verbs such as bite which isn't quite right. The last line is passive
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Smokeye, Thank you for reading my poem. Not defending my work, but am clarifying one of your points...."bite" is a noun here. But, I respectfully appreciate your review. Regards, Sue
Comment from jclark
Well done. You met all the criteria for the contest and your picture choice lends itself nicely. Good luck in the contest.
Kindly,
Judy
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Well done. You met all the criteria for the contest and your picture choice lends itself nicely. Good luck in the contest.
Kindly,
Judy
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much, Judy. My first contest here. Kind of exciting! Your generous review is much appreciated. Regards, Sue
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Welcome! You are destined to do some good writing and keep all of us on our toes in the contests.
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
Your poem was well-written. Icy and waiing for the warmth. I found no errors in your writing. The message was well presented with so few words. good job.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Your poem was well-written. Icy and waiing for the warmth. I found no errors in your writing. The message was well presented with so few words. good job.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Hello El Gato, thank you for your most generous review and specific comments. Warmest regards, Sue
Comment from mslyla216
Your haiku poem is beauty and simplicity in one. I suppose that's why haiku poetry seems ethereal and serene in most cases. You've expressed hope and that's what we'll wait for with the coming of spring. Good imagery. mslyla
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Your haiku poem is beauty and simplicity in one. I suppose that's why haiku poetry seems ethereal and serene in most cases. You've expressed hope and that's what we'll wait for with the coming of spring. Good imagery. mslyla
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Thank you for your generous review and comments. Very much appreciated...and with regards, Sue