CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 148 "Solace"A collection of poetry
138 total reviews
Comment from allborn66
It's a beautiful poem. I love the emotion in it. The rhyming scheme is very nice. I think there's a empty line between the third and fourth line in the first stanza.
Barbara
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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It's a beautiful poem. I love the emotion in it. The rhyming scheme is very nice. I think there's a empty line between the third and fourth line in the first stanza.
Barbara
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Barbara, sorry, I'm not understanding your comment on a missing line. Can you clarify? Would very much appreciate it. Thank you for reading my poem. Am glad you like it! And want to thank you for your generous review. Kindest regards, Sue
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It may be Evil Eddie affecting my computer. The first stanza has three line.- then a space - The one line - then a space. The rest of the poem has stanzas of four lines.
My computer is being nasty right now, so It might be a problem on my end, too. It's having difficulty loading pages and being way slower than it should be.
Barbara
Comment from Journey woman
That is a beautiful thought. It speaks to the inner nature we all have of just needing to be held from time to time. The peace and comfort it provides is priceless. The words you use speaks clearly. Journey Woman
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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That is a beautiful thought. It speaks to the inner nature we all have of just needing to be held from time to time. The peace and comfort it provides is priceless. The words you use speaks clearly. Journey Woman
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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...and no strings attached. Just need that moment of comfort. I am so pleased that you have read and reviewed my poem. I thank you for your very generous review and lovely, lovely comments. Much appreciated. Warm regards, Sue
Comment from Brian S. Pratt
Vulnerable, so tired
In need of an embrace
With strong arms and deep heart
You hold me in this place
--You start by saying "Vulnerable, so tired In need of an embrace" Thjen you go on to say how someone is holding you in this place. It makes me feel like that someone is keeping you in a place where you are vulnerable and tired. Though I'm certain that was not what you were trying to say. Having read it all through twice, I can see what you mean, it's just that it took me a couple times before I finally got it. Is that person holding you, God? Husband? Or is it up to the reader to fill in the blank with whoever they require to be there?
I did like how it began with you needing an embrace, and ended with you offering one.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Vulnerable, so tired
In need of an embrace
With strong arms and deep heart
You hold me in this place
--You start by saying "Vulnerable, so tired In need of an embrace" Thjen you go on to say how someone is holding you in this place. It makes me feel like that someone is keeping you in a place where you are vulnerable and tired. Though I'm certain that was not what you were trying to say. Having read it all through twice, I can see what you mean, it's just that it took me a couple times before I finally got it. Is that person holding you, God? Husband? Or is it up to the reader to fill in the blank with whoever they require to be there?
I did like how it began with you needing an embrace, and ended with you offering one.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Hmmmm.. excellent point about "this place". I thank you for that and am going back to re-read it now. Sometimes, we all have a moment when no words, no explanations, no advice is needed. Just need to have that embrace for comfort. Can do a world of good. I certainly thank you for your generous review, specific comments and possible suggestion. Much appreciated. Warmest regards, Sue
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What do you think about "You take me from that place" Because you are right; the embrace is to take me away from that vulnerable place. REALLY appreciate that comment!
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Here is the stanza: Vulnerable, so tired In need of an embrace With strong arms and deep heart You take me from that place
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I think that give the reader a better feel for what you are trying to convey.
Talk to you later.
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You were 100% right. That was so cool of you to be so specific and I thank you for sharing and helping!
Sue
Comment from okiboy
A very lovely poem. There is lots of feeling in the poem of a person wanted to just spend time with the one she loves. No talking. Just being by his side. I truly enjoyed the poem. Thanks.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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A very lovely poem. There is lots of feeling in the poem of a person wanted to just spend time with the one she loves. No talking. Just being by his side. I truly enjoyed the poem. Thanks.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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okiboy...yes, no words; just a quiet closeness. Much needed by us all. I certainly appreciate your taking the time to read my poem and for your generous review and comments. Warmest regards, Sue
Comment from Joan E.
A lovely title and the mood is carried forward with words like "vulnerable," "embrace," "no burden," just my breath," "calm space".
I liked the simple invitation of "Come rest with me now..." I also enjoyed the concept of sweet reciprocity.
Thanks for sharing this interlude.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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A lovely title and the mood is carried forward with words like "vulnerable," "embrace," "no burden," just my breath," "calm space".
I liked the simple invitation of "Come rest with me now..." I also enjoyed the concept of sweet reciprocity.
Thanks for sharing this interlude.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Joan, your words touch me. Thank you for highlighting the words in my poem that resonated with you. And I thank you for your most generous review and very specific comments. Very encouraging for me to continue to write, as I am so new at this. Much appreciated...........Most sincerely, Sue
Comment from cmay44
hi again, another lovely well-written poem and excellent in rhyme and meter as well as your theme. You have written a truly enjoyable, pleasant read. Good job on this!
God bless you always
love from
Carolyn
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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hi again, another lovely well-written poem and excellent in rhyme and meter as well as your theme. You have written a truly enjoyable, pleasant read. Good job on this!
God bless you always
love from
Carolyn
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Hello again, Carolyn (by the way, my first name is also Carolyn!). Don't know why my parents started calling me Sue! Ha! Thank you so much for your lovely words....so very encouraging. Love sharing! And thank you for taking the time to review! May God bless you, also.....Sue
Comment from honeytree
Yes we all need to have our embraces that shows love and caring. I liked your words very much.
"My heart has been heavy
The road has been unkind
I tell you none of this
I'll leave that all behind
For only with your touch
I'm in a calming space
And when you are in need
I'm there with my embrace"
Wonderful words embracing love and Solace.
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Yes we all need to have our embraces that shows love and caring. I liked your words very much.
"My heart has been heavy
The road has been unkind
I tell you none of this
I'll leave that all behind
For only with your touch
I'm in a calming space
And when you are in need
I'm there with my embrace"
Wonderful words embracing love and Solace.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Honeytree, I thank you so much for your lovely and generous review. Warms my heart to know that you have enjoyed my poem. Your words are very encouraging for me to continue to write. With sincere regards, Sue
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I really loved reading your work.Keep it up. Honeytree.
Comment from Nicnac
This is a lovely poem.
It started with a feeling of emptiness, but leaves the reader with a sense of fulfillment and calm.
What a fabulous thought - that one can feel the "embrace" of a loved one in spirit. This is a lovely expression from your heart and I'm so glad you shared it with us. It is a satisfying poem, and in my opinion - needs no revision.
Blessings,
~Nic
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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This is a lovely poem.
It started with a feeling of emptiness, but leaves the reader with a sense of fulfillment and calm.
What a fabulous thought - that one can feel the "embrace" of a loved one in spirit. This is a lovely expression from your heart and I'm so glad you shared it with us. It is a satisfying poem, and in my opinion - needs no revision.
Blessings,
~Nic
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Nic, I thank you so much for your most generous review and comments. It did come very deep from my heart and I am so glad you liked it. Very much appreciated.......Sincerely, Sue
Comment from debskatz
Hi 6teezkid,
I'm with you on this one, particularly the first two lines. I really do like what you're trying to say with this one. And all of your rhymes are dead on. It just needs something else. The stanzas don't flow well for one thing.
With the first stanza, I think the first 3 lines are perfect. With the 4th, it could be taken differently than you want it; with his embrace he's holding you in the place where you're tired & vulnerable.
Then the first 2 lines of the 2nd stanza. The 1st line, you're telling him to come rest with you but in the 1st stanza, he's already holding you. The 2nd line, I don't really get. It's like you're telling him to come rest with you in spirit. Is he really there? Or is he there in spirit?
The rest of it is fine. I really like what you're saying.
It's a good poem. It just needs a little work. If you revise it, holler at me again.
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Hi 6teezkid,
I'm with you on this one, particularly the first two lines. I really do like what you're trying to say with this one. And all of your rhymes are dead on. It just needs something else. The stanzas don't flow well for one thing.
With the first stanza, I think the first 3 lines are perfect. With the 4th, it could be taken differently than you want it; with his embrace he's holding you in the place where you're tired & vulnerable.
Then the first 2 lines of the 2nd stanza. The 1st line, you're telling him to come rest with you but in the 1st stanza, he's already holding you. The 2nd line, I don't really get. It's like you're telling him to come rest with you in spirit. Is he really there? Or is he there in spirit?
The rest of it is fine. I really like what you're saying.
It's a good poem. It just needs a little work. If you revise it, holler at me again.
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Deb, Thank you for your most kind review and very specific comments. I will have a re-read and will most certainly take your points on board. I will say that "in spirt"; yes he's there. It is progressively explained by letting him know that I need nothing else from him; I will not burden him. And there will be no words. This would then be more of a spiritual (emotional) meeting of two people. If you have ANY further comment on that, it is most welcomed! With respect and regards, Sue
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Hi Sue,
I didn't get that the rest is in spirit. I thought it was very brave of the woman to tell her lover that she won't burden him. I think it makes more of an impact with him actually being there. Heck, feeling that way, I want him to actually be there! There may not be any real fellows that you can be that way with, but, heck, he can be real in poetry!
Just my thoughts,
deb :-)
Comment from kassey
Oh I know this feeling so well, I feel you wrote this for me, the way I have been feeling. It is perfectly expressed, open and honest. Excellent Kay
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Oh I know this feeling so well, I feel you wrote this for me, the way I have been feeling. It is perfectly expressed, open and honest. Excellent Kay
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Kay, so glad you shared your own feelings. Yes! Sometimes we know we need "something" and don't even know, though, that it is a simple embrace. Amazing results can come from that. Ha! Thank you for your most generous review and comments! Regards, Sue