All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "She Turns the Page"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
124 total reviews
Comment from paul O'Brien
Recognised and all!
I like the last 6 lines.
In Particular"As Time - she laughs, and simply turns the page."
Sometimes I wonder how you fit it all in.
I must admit I thought of my page -smudged and worn being turned over to a new page :)
Paul
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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Recognised and all!
I like the last 6 lines.
In Particular"As Time - she laughs, and simply turns the page."
Sometimes I wonder how you fit it all in.
I must admit I thought of my page -smudged and worn being turned over to a new page :)
Paul
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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Sometimes I wonder, too, Paul ... though today I must admit, I SHOULD have been doing other things, but the sonnet bug was in my bonnet! GRRR! Glad you enjoyed it - they're not easy to write! :))S
Comment from Jendowoz
This is a wonderful image of going through the years of growing up. I love you're picture too. It is like we are under time's control hey?
Regards, Jen
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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This is a wonderful image of going through the years of growing up. I love you're picture too. It is like we are under time's control hey?
Regards, Jen
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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Thx so much Jen - I'm so glad you enjoyed this one and yes, unfortunately, our time here is limited, DAMMIT! :)s
Comment from c_lucas
From birth, we start to die. Death is always a breath away doing our time on earth. This is a true protayal of life. Very well done.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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From birth, we start to die. Death is always a breath away doing our time on earth. This is a true protayal of life. Very well done.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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thx charlie - yep - life sucks and then you die, right? :))))
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You're welcome, Sharyn
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is very phylosophical and true to life. The breaking of the dawn will gradually wear out to give way to another night and the circle goes on and on. I love the personification of Time turning the page and the metaphor too. Good work.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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This is very phylosophical and true to life. The breaking of the dawn will gradually wear out to give way to another night and the circle goes on and on. I love the personification of Time turning the page and the metaphor too. Good work.
ola thomas
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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thx so much Ola! :)Sharyn
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Sharyn,
I think you captured the essence of human time in this sonnet perfectly. It starts off and seems endless but as we age the quickening begins to spin the arms of our mortality. Beautiful construction and the visual was a very stunning one. Good luck to you my friend in this coveted contest.
Kindest wishes,
James xx
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
I think you captured the essence of human time in this sonnet perfectly. It starts off and seems endless but as we age the quickening begins to spin the arms of our mortality. Beautiful construction and the visual was a very stunning one. Good luck to you my friend in this coveted contest.
Kindest wishes,
James xx
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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thx so much, James - I don't know why but I just felt in a "Sonnet" mood today ... go figure! Thx so much for reviewing, my dear! So glad you enjoyed! :)))S
Comment from Hawaiian Mermaid
Aloha Sharyn,
What a beautiful way to write about the passing of time. You did it lady, you deserve a "6" on this one. At least we can grow old in Hawaii. What a blessing.
Aloha, Ginger
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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Aloha Sharyn,
What a beautiful way to write about the passing of time. You did it lady, you deserve a "6" on this one. At least we can grow old in Hawaii. What a blessing.
Aloha, Ginger
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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Bless you bless you Ginger! Thank you so much! :)Sharyn - and yes, thank God we can grow old in Hawaii! Aren't we lucky???
Comment from Black_Oxygen
This poetry speaks a powerful message. It flows very
nicely and is easy to read. The rhymes are well
placed and it held my interest from start to finish.
Thank You for your creation.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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This poetry speaks a powerful message. It flows very
nicely and is easy to read. The rhymes are well
placed and it held my interest from start to finish.
Thank You for your creation.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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thx Ron! :)S
Comment from October21
Loving the form- the lines have no specific patterns, showing that nor does life- it's jumbled with time and everything else.
Loved the first stanza and the rhyming!! That was great! Cloud and endowed... Wow!!!
Excellent poem, you really showed how all is better in our childhoods and as we grow older time takes its toll:-)
Fantastic personification of time at the end there. Her turning the page shows how easy it is for birth and death to pass along and for new life to start- an ongoing cycle.
Wonderful write!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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Loving the form- the lines have no specific patterns, showing that nor does life- it's jumbled with time and everything else.
Loved the first stanza and the rhyming!! That was great! Cloud and endowed... Wow!!!
Excellent poem, you really showed how all is better in our childhoods and as we grow older time takes its toll:-)
Fantastic personification of time at the end there. Her turning the page shows how easy it is for birth and death to pass along and for new life to start- an ongoing cycle.
Wonderful write!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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thx Shenel! :)S
Comment from Sararb
You did a beautiful job with this Sonnet. I felt like I was reading Shakespeare. Your Sonnet flowed smoothly, and it rhymed with ease. I enjoyed reading it. Sararb :)
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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You did a beautiful job with this Sonnet. I felt like I was reading Shakespeare. Your Sonnet flowed smoothly, and it rhymed with ease. I enjoyed reading it. Sararb :)
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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thank you so much my dear! :)Sharyn
Comment from Galactia
Excellent little free verse, perfect rhyme scheme of abab cdcd efef gg, pdffect Iambic pentameter and turn on line 9 with the use of (but), great story of love and aging, should do well in the contest
GL
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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Excellent little free verse, perfect rhyme scheme of abab cdcd efef gg, pdffect Iambic pentameter and turn on line 9 with the use of (but), great story of love and aging, should do well in the contest
GL
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2013
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thank you so much Tia! :)Sharyn