April NaPoWriMo NationalPoetcontest
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Sammy Snail"Daily poems for April 2018
11 total reviews
Comment from Susan B. Lamphier
Christine--What a funny poem! And, yes, this should absolutely go into your book when you get it all together. How many children love to step on the poor creatures! Nicely done!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Christine--What a funny poem! And, yes, this should absolutely go into your book when you get it all together. How many children love to step on the poor creatures! Nicely done!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Hi Susan, Thank you and poor Sammy didn't stand a chance and most children do this. I don't now though but it is tempting But let them go except when they are in our vege garden eating our cabbages Grrrr . Cheers Christine
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Chrissy, so this is the Silly poem you mention in your Serious one that I have just read LOL. Well you say you THOUGHT you'd try an Alliteration poem - wow! You've used the letter S ok - on every line and written an amusing poem for children. Or maybe not - crunching him under foot! Actually it's what I do LOL. Regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hi Chrissy, so this is the Silly poem you mention in your Serious one that I have just read LOL. Well you say you THOUGHT you'd try an Alliteration poem - wow! You've used the letter S ok - on every line and written an amusing poem for children. Or maybe not - crunching him under foot! Actually it's what I do LOL. Regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hi Dorothy, Thank you and yes a silly poem for a change but I do recall crunching poor snail underfoot as a kid , but I would not do it now. Having fun with a letter. Cheers +++ Christinex
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written short alliteration poem. Snails are not my favorite small garden animals with their slimy slitherring snail trail wherever they go. I cannot eat them either.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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A very well-written short alliteration poem. Snails are not my favorite small garden animals with their slimy slitherring snail trail wherever they go. I cannot eat them either.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hi Sandra, Thanks for your review and they do leave a slimy slither Ha Ha I have eaten them when in France a bit rubbery LOL Cheers Christine
Comment from Joy Graham
I like your Sammy Snail poem :) Nice use of the s sounds throughout. I have seen some over do the sounds, but yours is just the right amount without going overboard in my humble opinion. Well done.
Joy xx
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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I like your Sammy Snail poem :) Nice use of the s sounds throughout. I have seen some over do the sounds, but yours is just the right amount without going overboard in my humble opinion. Well done.
Joy xx
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hi Joy, Thanks for saying that I had hoped it was fun rather than overboard and nonense A bit of fun for a change Cheers Christine
Comment from damommy
You did very well with the alliteration. Poor Sammy, slinking along, minding his own business, when CRUNCH!
The 's' sounds added to the slinky feel of Sammy's travels.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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You did very well with the alliteration. Poor Sammy, slinking along, minding his own business, when CRUNCH!
The 's' sounds added to the slinky feel of Sammy's travels.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hi Yvonne Thanks for reading my Sammy Snail poor thing life can be cruel .I used to stand on snails as a kid well who did not but would not do so now A bit of fun for a change with the letter S Cheers Christine
Comment from Kerry Foley
Hi Chrissy, it's nice to see you, I only came back a week or two ago, lot's to catch up, sorry if I've missed past writings of yours. This is a really cute little snail poem, I love the alliteration, this one's very tongue-twisty, lol ~Kerry
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hi Chrissy, it's nice to see you, I only came back a week or two ago, lot's to catch up, sorry if I've missed past writings of yours. This is a really cute little snail poem, I love the alliteration, this one's very tongue-twisty, lol ~Kerry
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hi Kerry, Thanks for reading about poor Sammy, and I had my grandaughter read this and she laughed and found it a good tongue twister too . Just haveing some light hearted fun. PS I am so behind in my reviews also .This challenge of a daily poem takes up so much time but I am loving it but don!t have much other time to read others work so once April is over I will then Cheers Christine
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lol, Awe... that's so sweet, enjoy the fun with your grandaughter. I did the NaPoMo last year, it was hectic on top of my regular writting, quite time consuming. Good luck with it.
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regular writing What's That LOL
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lol, At the time I was in Haiku club, we were working on a book, I would submit, and post 10 a week, 1 was chosen each week for book. With a 2 post a day limit, I had to do some Haiku submissions in doubles and trios. I also entered contest on top of that. My brain was fried by the end of last Feb. I hardly slept, lol.
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Yes I know I also was in the Haiku club and managed 3 to be published What fun that was and the book is really great and the Haiku's are lovely
Yes I dont think I can keep up writing every day for a long time also this has cost me a small fortune however I work so that is my money to spend. I am pleased though to have nearly completed this challenge and have some reasonable work Cheers Christine
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Yes, that's when I met you:))
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Yes Kerry I thought so that was a fun club to be in and I love our book it is such a good read and I learnt heaps from Gypsy in her class considering I had never heard of Haiku before joining FS Hope all is well with you Cheers And Hi Christine
Comment from robyn corum
Christine,
hahahahahahahahaha!! Oh, I really enjoyed this one -- sadomasochist that I am! hahahaha!! What a delightful little poem - one that children would have a BALL reading and then reciting.
My one issue was with the second line --
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Sammy snail slithered slowly
Shiny slimy trail lowly
***
--> 'lowly' just stood out to me a bit. A little awkward, maybe?
--> I have a suggestion, but you'd have to work with it, IF you even liked it. I wanted to offer an option, but can't get it to less than eight syllables:
***
Sammy snail slithered slowly
Shiny slime, both to and fro-ly
***
Of course, there's nothing wrong with your version -- just a thought. Big hugs --
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Christine,
hahahahahahahahaha!! Oh, I really enjoyed this one -- sadomasochist that I am! hahahaha!! What a delightful little poem - one that children would have a BALL reading and then reciting.
My one issue was with the second line --
***
Sammy snail slithered slowly
Shiny slimy trail lowly
***
--> 'lowly' just stood out to me a bit. A little awkward, maybe?
--> I have a suggestion, but you'd have to work with it, IF you even liked it. I wanted to offer an option, but can't get it to less than eight syllables:
***
Sammy snail slithered slowly
Shiny slime, both to and fro-ly
***
Of course, there's nothing wrong with your version -- just a thought. Big hugs --
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hi Robyn . Thanks so much for your review and yes I see where you are comimg from but I used lowly because underneath Sammy he leaves his trail if that males sense but thanks anyway . I may try another letter soon and maybe make a series of them Cheers Christine . PS My grandaughter liked it and found it a tongue twister too so I will use her as my editor Cheers Christine
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that would count way above my opinion for sure!! Reader tried and tested and approved! YAY!
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smiling
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Wow! Loved this one, you certainly game the slimy snail a run for his money here with all that aliteration, very expressive, a clever write Christine, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Wow! Loved this one, you certainly game the slimy snail a run for his money here with all that aliteration, very expressive, a clever write Christine, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Hi Dolly Thanks for reading about poor Sammy my way of a bit of fun and trying alliteration I may do a series and see how they go Cheers Christine
Comment from aryr
Aww poor Sammy died at the end, but I am realistic enough to understand that it is part of the circle of life and of nature. I have learned something new today, I didn't know about the Alliteration poem, but you did a great job using the letter 's'. Very cute and rather well done, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Aww poor Sammy died at the end, but I am realistic enough to understand that it is part of the circle of life and of nature. I have learned something new today, I didn't know about the Alliteration poem, but you did a great job using the letter 's'. Very cute and rather well done, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Hi Ary, Yes poor Sammy died and I had some fun with the letter S Thanks for reading and sending this review Have a great day
'As always appreciate awesome Ary'
Cheers Christine
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you are so welcome Christine.
Comment from Harry Smith
Very interesting poem with a picture selection that fit prefect with this poem that is full of imagery. The reader really enjoyed the read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Very interesting poem with a picture selection that fit prefect with this poem that is full of imagery. The reader really enjoyed the read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hi Harry, Thank so much for reading my silly Sammy Snail poem a bit of fun instead of being serious Cheers Christine