Reviews from

Perhaps I Can Save My Soul

Do I need to climb that mountain one more time?

29 total reviews 
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Tarnished Knight: Very well written. How old was your son? I know that grief is forever, treasure the good times together. My friend, Linda, lost her son five years ago by suicide. She goes to grief counseling and wants to write a book soon. Jesus doesn't always tell us why. Keep chatting with Jesus! <>< soli deo Gloria! (All the Glory to the Lord!)

The Lord will give his scribes golden pens and linen paper to write with. We are the voices for Jesus in the nations. Congrats on the all time best! flylikeaneagle - nancy

 Comment Written 23-May-2015


reply by the author on 24-May-2015
    Thank you so very much Nancy My son was 35 he too took his own life leaving a wife and two children The year was 2000..The kids girl now 23 boy 19
    tk
Comment from stephybs
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You have such a way of showing the nice side of sadness that really melts the heart with emotion. Your son was lucky to have a dad like you, and I am sure he smiles down from heaven with proudness every time you write about him. I too lost a child a very long time ago now and at that point I lost my faith. All I can say is there is a reason and a bigger picture and we have to believe that. Love this piece and the heart it came from.

 Comment Written 23-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Wow thank you soooo much steph...My son took his own life at the age of 35 leaving 2 children and wife behind. That happened 15 yrs ago this Sept. My mother also took her life 5 days before I turned 3 Way back in the year 1948... She only being 22 at the time..A child out of wed lock then was not like it is now.. But life wil go on..Once in a while those skeletons will come out of the closet and we can do nothing about that.. Just hope that they stay around for a short period of time and that we have access to a key to lock them back up..But we also must realize they have a skeleton key they can use to escape at the most in opportune times...
    tk
reply by stephybs on 24-May-2015
    Hi tk you seem to share a few things in common with me as far as sadness is concerned, my brother became ill and I noticed the change but no matter how hard I tired no one would listen. He took his own life too. If you look at my work you will see a poem called John . X
Comment from Walu Feral
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

G'day TK. Great work again mate. The flow and rhyme are up to your usual high quality and the topic is strong. It takes a lot of strength at hard times to have faith and onle He knows why He does what He does. Well done Sir, cheers Fez

 Comment Written 23-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Thank you very much my Feral friend..I am glad you joined me on the mountain
    TK
Comment from Hawaiian Mermaid
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Aloha ATK,

I know you've been up that mountain
I've seen the flowing tears in your eyes
The hurt and "whys" in your heart
Wondering is God love a pack of lies

God gives us many choices
Keep going up the mountain
Drink the living water
That flows from His fountain

Keep faith is in your heart
He said there will be trials
Walk with Jesus by your side
He's walked with you for miles

I know He hasn't given up on you
His love is more than you know
Visit Him on that mountain
Watch how His love can overflow

Aloha and Hula Hugs to you always,
Gingerella
Hawaiian Mermaid

 Comment Written 22-May-2015


reply by the author on 22-May-2015
    Ah you make my faith grow everyday my lovely Mermaid My faith in you and your love I could never turn away from...
    XXOO
    TK
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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It is hard to lose one you love, especially if they are young and full of promise. You bring poignant emotions to the surface and share them in an artistic way. The poem is well written with genuine pathos. Excellent rhyming and meter. My favorite lines were these because of the alliteration and emotional appeal.

Is it my soul or sanity
That mountain wants to keep?



 Comment Written 22-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Once again thank you for taking the time to read and visit me on the mountain
    tk
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
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It's only natural for a parent to question why his son died. Those tragedies never seem to make sense. The narrator says that on his last trip to the mountain, he forgot to ask why God took his son. It is natural for someone to have a lot of questions and maybe lose faith after a tragedy. Although it's hard for the narrator to climb that mountain, he knows he needs to make another trip--perhaps to save his soul. Excellent rhyme and flow in this. judi

 Comment Written 22-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Thank you very much for visiting me on the mountain and commenting on it
    Hugs
    tk
reply by judiverse on 23-May-2015
    You're welcome. Have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend. judi
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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This is another well written poem about your climb up the mountain. I am sorry foe the loss of your son. God knows the reason, yet we don't understand and may never know until we are eternally with god in heaven. Blessings, Patricia

 Comment Written 22-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Thank you so very much Patricia for visiting me on the mountain and commenting as well
    tk
Comment from krys123
Excellent
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TK;
-a very spectacular poem TK will you capture the essence of self-awareness, in which you ponder the reasons why for things that happened around you and how those things have created your displacement and woe.
-Good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concepts one stanza I am lying to the next without a syntactical break.
-Excellent metaphorical imagery by using the mountain as your sense of awareness and the imagery is very descriptive and definitively and vividly expressive.
-Excellent rhyming where you used an ABCB poetic format and where the rhyming was contingent to the meaning and concept of each line which helped in the rhythmic flow.
-Rhythmic cadence, timing and tempo helped very much in the reading to make it very clear, fluid and very easy.
-Thank you for sharing and posting this TK and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex

 Comment Written 22-May-2015


reply by the author on 22-May-2015
    Thank you very much Alex for your always informative reviews
    Also thank you for joining on the Mountain!!
    TK
reply by krys123 on 23-May-2015
    You are so welcome. TK.
    Alex
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
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I have questions why so many times it is common place now. To take them both from me, together, a double blow.
That mountain is high and hard to climb but we do it on a regular basis.
I remember the hatred for two years, the unanswered questions, the denial, everything foreign became my way of life.
I fell your pain in this piece and yet it is written with such emotion and control.
Prayers to yiu

 Comment Written 21-May-2015


reply by the author on 22-May-2015
    Thank you Barb..Also thanks you for climbing the mountain with me as well..Yes I do know how difficult it is...Keep climbing my dear keep climbing to you can touch the sky !!!
    tk
Comment from pharp
Excellent
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Each time you climb that mountain, it gets better and better. God will never forsake you, nor will he leave you. It's hard for me to keep up with you, every day I am blessed with the joy of reviewing your poem as they are a blessing and an inspiration to my soul. Of course you deserve another six star rating, which I have none left. Keep going to that mountain until you find what you are looking for. Blessings my friend----Portia

 Comment Written 21-May-2015


reply by the author on 22-May-2015
    Wow thank you so much Portia for those beautiful words so appreciated... Hope now to change directions and have some fum with TARNY THE GYPSY BEAR My altered ego lol
    tk