Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Toka Moon, Pt. 1"Murder Mystery
51 total reviews
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi Bev! I am tucked in bed with my laptop. The cat has been snuggled at the foot of the bed all along. I just lifted my dog onto the bed. She has parked herself across my foot. We are having a lazy day today. Perfect to read your chapters :)
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2012
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Hi Bev! I am tucked in bed with my laptop. The cat has been snuggled at the foot of the bed all along. I just lifted my dog onto the bed. She has parked herself across my foot. We are having a lazy day today. Perfect to read your chapters :)
Comment Written 01-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2012
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That sounds like how I feel today. Lazy and content to sit home. I really appreciate your review of these 'back' chapers, Joy. It's interesting to get the perspective of someone reading back to back. Thanks so much, Joy! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Doc Holiday
Wow! Father Brian sure has a lot on his mind these days with the church's finances and the murders in the community. The chapter ends with a mind-gripping, gut-wrenching portrayal of an exorcism! Excellent writing carrying the reader all the way through without any disruptive spags.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2012
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Wow! Father Brian sure has a lot on his mind these days with the church's finances and the murders in the community. The chapter ends with a mind-gripping, gut-wrenching portrayal of an exorcism! Excellent writing carrying the reader all the way through without any disruptive spags.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2012
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Thanks so much, Doc. I really appreciate your aking time to read my chapter. And I always enjoy your insights! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Scornwell
I thought this was well written, I didn't notice any mistakes. The character was portrayed well and what dialog there was seemed realistic and natural. Pretty creepy stuff for a life long Catholic like myself.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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I thought this was well written, I didn't notice any mistakes. The character was portrayed well and what dialog there was seemed realistic and natural. Pretty creepy stuff for a life long Catholic like myself.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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Hi, Scornwell. Thank you for this review. I appreciate your insights and generosity. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from RaymondJohn
There's a lot of irony in this chapter. Oleson and the priest could be living on entirely different planets. I like the interplay. Very smooth narrative and fast pace. Best wishes. Ray.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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There's a lot of irony in this chapter. Oleson and the priest could be living on entirely different planets. I like the interplay. Very smooth narrative and fast pace. Best wishes. Ray.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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Thank you, Ray, for stopping by and for your generous review and insights. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from turtledove
Writingfundimension, loved your story chapter! Looking forward to reading more. This is a refreshing change. Very interesting and free of typos or spaggies. Great idea with the writer's notes...feel we could have quite a few discussions... Will have to be a fan! turtledove.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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Writingfundimension, loved your story chapter! Looking forward to reading more. This is a refreshing change. Very interesting and free of typos or spaggies. Great idea with the writer's notes...feel we could have quite a few discussions... Will have to be a fan! turtledove.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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Thank you so much, turtledove. I really appreciate your awesome review and shared insights. Great to hear from you! Warm regards, Bev
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Bev, you're welcome...until we meet again, td
Comment from visionary1234
Well I'm a newcomer to your book and I'm definitely intrigued and hooked! Will have to go back and read the previous ones now. I liked Father Brian's internal thoughts - it took away the need for dialogue and even though the thoughts wandered, they wandered in a direction that carried the action forward. Well done!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Well I'm a newcomer to your book and I'm definitely intrigued and hooked! Will have to go back and read the previous ones now. I liked Father Brian's internal thoughts - it took away the need for dialogue and even though the thoughts wandered, they wandered in a direction that carried the action forward. Well done!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Thank you much, visionary1234. I really appreciate your great review and interest in my story. Some of the dialogue does relate back to other chapters, so it may become more clear. Thanks much! Bev
Comment from sunnilicious
Along the Jericho Road - Toka Moon, Pt. 1 by Writingfundimension
You're very knowledgable about the church. The details are that of a stickler. It makes the story more believable. Excellent descriptions that create vivid imagery. Good dialogue. Nice.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Along the Jericho Road - Toka Moon, Pt. 1 by Writingfundimension
You're very knowledgable about the church. The details are that of a stickler. It makes the story more believable. Excellent descriptions that create vivid imagery. Good dialogue. Nice.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Hi, sunnilicious. Thank you for sharing your insights and for your generous review. Much appreciated! Bev
Comment from CheyLGwriter
I love this. Movies are great, but when you get such description in a story, who cares about the movie. It has all the action and suspense of a James Bond movie, but better.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2012
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I love this. Movies are great, but when you get such description in a story, who cares about the movie. It has all the action and suspense of a James Bond movie, but better.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2012
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Hello, CheyLGwriter. Thank you so much for this awesome review! I really appreciate your generosity and words of support. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Curtis Hatch
This is very nicely written. The word picture is excellent, and I can feel the anxiety of the priest. His frustrations are obvious and more pronounced than his trusty friend, his dog,can sooth.
His encounter with the humanoid being is a surprise ending.
Excellent job...
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2012
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This is very nicely written. The word picture is excellent, and I can feel the anxiety of the priest. His frustrations are obvious and more pronounced than his trusty friend, his dog,can sooth.
His encounter with the humanoid being is a surprise ending.
Excellent job...
Comment Written 23-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2012
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Thank you, Curtis. I really appreciate your generous review and words of support! Kindest regards, Bev
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for reminding us about the previous development. I particularly liked your including the "unbidden memories" of a past confession and the "dense spider web" analogy you employed to describe the priest psyche. -Joan
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2012
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Thank you for reminding us about the previous development. I particularly liked your including the "unbidden memories" of a past confession and the "dense spider web" analogy you employed to describe the priest psyche. -Joan
Comment Written 23-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2012
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Hi, Joan. I've been a little behind in posting a chapter, so I'm glad the backstory was helpful. Thank you very much for your generous review and support. Warmest regards, Bev