Stories and Poems for the Holidays
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "To Believe or Not to Believe"Holiday musings.
16 total reviews
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo BethShelby ...
I enjoyed reading this short story of yours, the writing of which seems a little bit too 'mature' for one who is supposed to be a child.
There is just one small change to recommend ...
* You have - I'm not going ever stop believing ...
I suggest - I'm not ever going to stop believing ...
With this being a Contest entry, I wish you well. As you obviously anticipate, there are a number of grammatical mistakes but - you have covered this in your Notes.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2010
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Hullo BethShelby ...
I enjoyed reading this short story of yours, the writing of which seems a little bit too 'mature' for one who is supposed to be a child.
There is just one small change to recommend ...
* You have - I'm not going ever stop believing ...
I suggest - I'm not ever going to stop believing ...
With this being a Contest entry, I wish you well. As you obviously anticipate, there are a number of grammatical mistakes but - you have covered this in your Notes.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2010
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Thank you Nanette Mary, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I apprecaite the review and comment and the suggestiton for change. I'll take care of that. The voting is over and I was one vote short of tying witht he winner but that O.K. I enjoyed writing it. It brought back memories.
Beth
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Beth:)
Santa Claus, just the way I remember him. This is a great view of Santa through the eyes of a child and a smart child at that.
I especially like:
I think Billy and Tommy aren't as smart as they think they are, `cause Mamma said when you stop believing he stops coming. I'm not going ever stop believing `cause Christmas wouldn't be no fun without all those presents.{This kid knows a good myth when he finds it whether or not he can spell it.
Good luck in the contest!
Roger
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2010
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Hi Beth:)
Santa Claus, just the way I remember him. This is a great view of Santa through the eyes of a child and a smart child at that.
I especially like:
I think Billy and Tommy aren't as smart as they think they are, `cause Mamma said when you stop believing he stops coming. I'm not going ever stop believing `cause Christmas wouldn't be no fun without all those presents.{This kid knows a good myth when he finds it whether or not he can spell it.
Good luck in the contest!
Roger
Comment Written 10-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2010
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Thank you Roger, I really appreciate the review and comments. I didn't win but I was one vote shy of a tie. It was fun to write because it brought back memories.
Beth
Comment from N.K. Wagner
It's perfect, Beth. The parental tap dancing is exactly right, as I'm sure you know from your own experience. There's always a spoil-sport kid in the neighborhood or at school who tries to ruin the fun for everyone else. Given the believe or else dilemma, I think my girls would be professing to believe even now, in their 30s. A wonderfully humorous look at every kid's rite of passage.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2010
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It's perfect, Beth. The parental tap dancing is exactly right, as I'm sure you know from your own experience. There's always a spoil-sport kid in the neighborhood or at school who tries to ruin the fun for everyone else. Given the believe or else dilemma, I think my girls would be professing to believe even now, in their 30s. A wonderfully humorous look at every kid's rite of passage.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm glad you liked it.
Beth
Comment from Fireshadow
This is a terrific entry for the Through The Eyes Of A Child writing prompt contest, and I'm sure it will be a strong contender in the competition. You really portrayed a child's view of Santa which I'm sure many readers will be able to relate to. Good luck in the contest, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2010
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This is a terrific entry for the Through The Eyes Of A Child writing prompt contest, and I'm sure it will be a strong contender in the competition. You really portrayed a child's view of Santa which I'm sure many readers will be able to relate to. Good luck in the contest, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 10-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and the lovely comments.
Happy Holidays
Comment from Matoshka
I enjoyed this sweet story of innocence. Santa was real for all of us, and myth or not he will always have a place in our hearts. I enjoyed this very much, it brought good memories back for me. Merry Christmas and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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I enjoyed this sweet story of innocence. Santa was real for all of us, and myth or not he will always have a place in our hearts. I enjoyed this very much, it brought good memories back for me. Merry Christmas and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments. Santa puts the magic into Christmas and I still sit around watching Santa Claus movies on TV and actually enjoying them.
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You are so welcome, it is our inner child I think, I do too. Merry Christmas and many blessings.
Comment from Veekz
Good for your main character, keep believing! :)
Such a sweet rendition of how a child's mind works, especially around this time of year. Had to laugh at this line:
"I don't care if Santa Claus is a Myth or a Chinese or whatever"
Very funny!
Great read, good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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Good for your main character, keep believing! :)
Such a sweet rendition of how a child's mind works, especially around this time of year. Had to laugh at this line:
"I don't care if Santa Claus is a Myth or a Chinese or whatever"
Very funny!
Great read, good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 09-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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Thank you for the review and comments. I'm glad you got a laugh from this.
Have a Happy Holiday
Comment from Nanashirley
I like the story. I had the same dilemma only my Santa was an aunt who lived a block away. I found no editing. Good luck on the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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I like the story. I had the same dilemma only my Santa was an aunt who lived a block away. I found no editing. Good luck on the contest.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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Thank you Nanashirley, I really appreciate your review and nice comments.
Merry Christmas
Comment from Belinda
I think it is hard for parents to explain about the myth. But this is cute, with the child deep faith, and reasoning. I like the last sentence of your story, where the child holds on to the Christmas magic.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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I think it is hard for parents to explain about the myth. But this is cute, with the child deep faith, and reasoning. I like the last sentence of your story, where the child holds on to the Christmas magic.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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Thank you Belinda, I really appreciate your review and comments.
Comment from abnormal_child
I really liked this story, though I feel more detail would have been useful. How old is the child? What are the relationships with Billy and Tommy?
I did like how it was from a child's point of view with small grammatical errors. I could see the busted grate in my mind's eye and completely understand how this meant Santa was real.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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I really liked this story, though I feel more detail would have been useful. How old is the child? What are the relationships with Billy and Tommy?
I did like how it was from a child's point of view with small grammatical errors. I could see the busted grate in my mind's eye and completely understand how this meant Santa was real.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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Thank you for the review and comments. I'm not sure how your questions would matter to the content of the story. Billy and Tommy were friends from first grade but they could have been siblings and it wouldn't mattered. You can guess what age a child must be to question the existance of Santa. Often it is best to leave a lot to the reader's imagination. It is sometimes a bad thing to tell too much.
Comment from whitteron
'bout
'cause
Those words need apostrophe's to make up for the missing letters. When you use slang, you should try and stay with that throughout the piece. I happen to really enjoy it, but I know there are those here that don't. After you started with it, I picked up that rythmn, and then lost it when other words didb't carry through.
Cute story, though.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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'bout
'cause
Those words need apostrophe's to make up for the missing letters. When you use slang, you should try and stay with that throughout the piece. I happen to really enjoy it, but I know there are those here that don't. After you started with it, I picked up that rythmn, and then lost it when other words didb't carry through.
Cute story, though.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2010
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Thanks for the review, Since this was from a childs point of view, I deliberately left the apostrophe's out but since you think I need them I've gone back and added them. I'm not sure what you mean about the rhythm. Kid's don't have much rhythm when they talk. They start talking about one thing and then throw something else in that is unrelated.